‘Sorry,’ I said, walking in. ‘I didn’t mean to wake you.’
‘And yet you have.’ Matt collapsed back onto the bed. ‘Raining hard?’ he asked.
‘Just a bit,’ I said, perching on the end of the bed.
‘Everything alright?’ he said, dragging himself into a sitting position.
‘Not really. Kevin is furious. Karen Koslovski is out for blood. I’ve missed the bus to the city.’
‘Well, what did you expect?’ he said, rubbing his eyes.
‘I expected to be halfway to Brisbane by now. I expected that all this mess would be behind me, that the shirt would … I don’t know, sort this all out.’
‘You thought Kevin would be arrested?’
‘I don’t know.’ I looked down at my feet. ‘Do you think I’m a terrible person, Matt?’
He shuffled up the bed toward me. ‘Terrible could be a little strong. Misguided maybe. You could’ve asked Kevin about the shirt, I mean, given him a chance.’
‘I gave him chances.’ I slammed a hand onto the doona. ‘He wouldn’t talk to me. And now. Well, now he has to talk, doesn’t he? The police will question him and he’ll have to tell them the truth.’
‘You still think he did something to Dylan?’
‘I don’t know. Anyway, I’m still going. I’ll hitchhike.’
‘Sunny, you can’t be serious.’
‘I know it was Zara who told Kevin. I never should have said anything to her. If Kevin hadn’t come, I’d be gone. All this would never have happened.’
Matt got off the bed and walked to the window. He pushed it open and the rain-freshened air lifted the curtains. He turned to face me, leaning against the windowsill, all crumpled shirt and skew-whiff hair. My heart lurched.
‘It wasn’t Zara.’ He rubbed a hand over his face.
‘What?’
‘It wasn’t Zara who told Kevin you were leaving. It was me.’ He crossed his arms, tucking his hands under each armpit.
No, no, no.
‘When we got to the bus stop and you got out of the van, I called him. I told him what you were doing.’
‘You told him.’ I stood up. ‘Why?’
‘I did it for you, Sunny. Because I thought you were doing the wrong thing. Because I was worried about you and I didn’t want you to go to the city on your own and meet a man who might not want to know you.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Your father hasn’t even replied to your email.’
‘How do you know? He could have—’
‘Has he?’
‘No. But he will.’ I crossed my arms and stared up at the ceiling. ‘I can’t believe you would do this to me. You of all people. You’re supposed to be my friend.’
‘Sunny.’ He took a step toward me. ‘I couldn’t just stand by and watch you do something stupid. You can’t just run away from Kevin. What if he’s innocent? Did that ever cross your mind? He’s your family now.’
‘He’s not my family. That’s exactly the point! He’s just some guy my mother loved and if it wasn’t for him …’
‘What?’
‘Oh, just forget it. You obviously don’t understand.’
‘He’s lost someone too, Sunny.’
Tears burnt in my eyes. I pressed my fingertips to my forehead. ‘I know that, I know … but it’s not the same for him.’
‘He lost his wife.’
‘Yeah,’ I waved a hand in the air, ‘and I lost my mother. Why did you have to tell him? You ruined everything. I thought you were on my side, Matt.’
‘I am.’ He reached out for me, but I backed away toward the door.
‘You have a funny way of showing it.’
‘Sunny, please don’t do this,’ he said, coming after me.
‘Forget it.’ The door slammed behind me. I ran through the kitchen and grabbed the raincoat, jerking it on as I flew down the stairs.
‘Sunny, wait!’ Matt ran up behind me as I climbed on my bike and pushed it out into the rain.
‘Get out of my way,’ I yelled as he tried to grab the handlebars, raindrops pouring down his face.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘Please …’
‘Just leave me alone!’ I stood on the pedals and rode away through the downpour.
Back at home I retrieved my suitcase from where Kevin had left it in the laundry. Still wearing Mum’s blue raincoat, I grabbed my backpack from my room and dragged the suitcase out to the veranda. I hadn’t cried about Matt’s betrayal. Better to be angry. When you’re angry, you’re invincible. You can do anything. Nothing can hurt you.
I had a vague plan to hitchhike to the servo and jump on one of the semitrailers that stopped there. Someone would give me a ride to the city, to my dad. I checked my phone again to see if he’d emailed. Still nothing. It didn’t matter. No-one was going to stop me from getting to him. I didn’t need Matt. I didn’t need anyone. People, in general, sucked.
As I dragged the suitcase across the veranda I looked up and saw Kevin striding across the sodden yard. He’d left the door of the garage open and my mind vaguely registered a blue car parked in there.
‘What are you doing, Sunny?’ he yelled.
I stood, frozen. In a severed second the conviction of my plan suddenly seemed tenuous and childish, but I gripped the handle hard and stood firm. ‘I’m leaving. I’m going to see my father.’
Kevin came up the steps, dripping wet. ‘Don’t be stupid. This is your home.’
‘You can’t stop me. You don’t even want to stop me, really.’
‘That’s ridiculous. Go back inside.’
‘No.’ I moved toward the steps. ‘You don’t get it, do you?’ I looked into his big, stupid face. ‘I’m going to see my dad. Things will be right, then. Don’t you see?’ I waved my arm around.
‘Have you spoken to him?’
‘No. But it doesn’t matter. You weren’t even going to tell me about the custody thing, were you?’
‘Oh.’ He blinked a few times. ‘Of course I was. I was waiting.’
‘For what?’
Sheets of rain were blowing under the veranda. ‘Can we go inside and talk about this?’
‘No. I’m not going
