He nudged his mother’s hand into the hole and then pushed the dirt he’d dug out back in to cover it. Then he stood up and started walking. Walking fast. He walked past the front of the tombs lined up side by side, the row where behind each tomb a part of his mother lay. Actually, to be more correct, he passed behind them. Because the tombs’ owners lay in the other direction. On the other side of the slab. When Isa began his apprenticeship he told him, “They’re called şahide,” the marble tombstone’s other side.
Soon enough he was worried that he hadn’t buried his mother’s hand deep enough and so he turned and looked over his shoulder as he sped away. Just to check he hadn’t left the hand uncovered. But out of nowhere he ran smack into something and fell to the ground. He looked up to see what he’d run into and he saw a man. A man with a beard. In a long robe. Derda knew the cemetery mosque’s imam and this wasn’t him. It was Tayyar. And he was meeting him for the first time.
Tayyar silently watched Derda get to his feet like it was the most interesting thing he’d ever seen. Like he wouldn’t have been able to take his eyes away even if it was the end of the world. He watched the boy brush off the dust. But this time he wasn’t just brushing away the dust of death, he was also chewing his heart, which had leapt into his mouth. And he was asking himself, “Did the guy see what I did?” He didn’t dare look up. He couldn’t look the man in the eye. He kept looking down at himself, trying to look like he was looking for more dust to brush off. Then Tayyar spoke. Derda listened with his eyes still lowered. Still afraid.
“Next time, be more careful.”
Then he stepped to the side and walked away. Derda turned around but the man was gone. What did he mean? What am I going to be careful about? What did he mean by that? Derda stood frozen. It was like the dirt under his feet had turned into a marshy bog. He was rooted to the spot. Then the marsh dried up and he took one step. No way, he said to himself. Is that even possible? You went and ran into a guy in a huge cemetery. What’s he going to say? Of course, he’s going to say be more careful. He laughed. He was sure he had been afraid for nothing. He shook his head and told himself he was an idiot. If he’d seen me bury the hand there, wouldn’t he come running up to me? Wouldn’t he grab me by the neck and haul me to the police? Who would see something like that and just say, “Be more careful”? He laughed again, walking away. Then he stopped and turned to look back at the tomb.
He wanted to die. Tayyar had stopped where he’d just buried the hand and was looking back at him. He had no hope but to turn and walk away. He left his steps behind him faster and faster until he was running. If he’d heard any sound behind him he would have found a way to sprint even faster. But behind was only silence.
He got as far as the cemetery gates and stopped to catch his breath. He shook his head. “For nothing,” he said, “you’re scared for nothing!” And he laughed.
“What are you laughing about so early in the morning? Take this and go get me some bread.”
Yasin’s hand stuck out of the guard shed’s window. Derda took the money and asked, “Keep the change?” He was still laughing.
“Keep it, boy, keep it,” Yasin said.
Once again waking up had put Yasin in a foul mood. Also because he was hungry. Also because he’d given his money away to Derda. He’d only been out of bed for two minutes but he’d already been ripped off. He hadn’t even had a bite to eat yet. Fuck the change from the bread and Derda with it!
“Bastard,” he said. Then he got back into bed. “I’ll just sleep a little till he comes back,” he said without really thinking about it. He fell asleep.
“Anything else?”
Derda didn’t answer the grocer. He didn’t even hear him. Because his mind had gone back to the fabric he’d peeled off his mother’s hand and tossed aside. Did the man see it? Is that why he stopped there?
He shot out of the grocer’s like a guided missile. A rocket was smaller, but he was more agile. There were at least ten corners to turn on the way to his target. He flew through the whole cemetery until he got near the last row of tombs closest to the wall. He hadn’t planned what he was going to do when he got there, but when he got there he found a surprise he hadn’t been expecting. The man in the robe was standing at the head of the tomb where he’d buried the hand.
He stopped and hid himself behind the first tree he saw. He hid behind it and peeked around the trunk. But it didn’t do him much
