Allison heard Frederick feeding the chickens.She darted across the yard she hid in the outhouse. Breathing hard,she pulled the door shut behind her.
Did Frederick see her? Hopefully, she made it before he left the coop.She did not want him knowing she spent the night in the barn andcause trouble for George.
Slowly her breathing returned to normal, herheartbeat regulating. After staying inside the foul smellingouthouse for several minutes, shecautiously opened the door and peeked out. She didn’t seeFrederick. Maybe he had gone into the house.
The coast clear, she stepped outside, freshbrisk air filling her lungs. Rubbing her clammy hands on the sidesof her dress, she straightened her posture. As long as she remainedcalm they wouldn’t suspect a thing.
Allison opened the front door and padded intothe kitchen.
Emma smiled at her. She rocked Katie in herarms. “Hungry?” she asked. “Katie just finished eating so I can putbreakfast on.”
Allison took a couple steps closer to get abetter look at the baby. She had long lashes and the cutest littlenose. She suddenly felt like she had swallowed a stone. For onceshe wished she could have a baby—a baby with George.
She mentally shook her head. That was a sillynotion. She couldn’t have children. Not that she and George were ever going to be togetheranyway.
“She takes after you,” Allison said softly,not wanting to wake the baby. Katie’s skin was light brown, thecolor of weak tea. Emma was so fair she could probably pass forwhite.
“Thank you. Anything special you want forbreakfast?”
“Um…” She was hungry but she couldn’t stayfor breakfast. She needed to leave now. “Can I have some food forthe road?”
Emma cocked her head. “For the road? You’realready leaving?”
“Yes, ma’am. I’d like to make it to townbefore it gets too hot.” It was an odd comment to make in themiddle of winter and she prayed Emma would let it pass.
“If you wait till after breakfast Frederickwould be happy to drive you into town in the wagon.”
“That is kind of you, ma’am, but I’m sure hehas other things he needs to do.”
“Please call me Emma.”
“All right, Emma.” Allison drew a deep breathand exhaled slowly. She was just warming up to George’ssister-in-law and now it was time for her to move on. Fate could becruel—especially to her. “I’m afraid I don’t have time forbreakfast. If you didn’t mind I would enjoy some food to eat on theway into town.”
“If that is what you want, dear. Did you andGeorge have a fight?”
“No, ma’am.”
Emma pressed her lips together. “Hmm.”Without another word she packed her some biscuits and salted porkin a sheet.
“Thank you, ma’am—I mean Emma. You andhusband have been very kind.”
“Are you sure something happen between youand George? If there was a misunderstanding or—”
“No. Nothing like that I promise,” Allisonreplied cutting her off. A lump sprouted in her throat. Somethingsure happened last night.
“It isn’t like George to bring a woman home.I took it to mean you two were serious about each other.”
“That’s the problem. George is young, hethinks he’s in love, but he still doesn’t know what he wants out oflife.”
“I see. And that bothers you?”
“No, itdoesn’t bother me. I just don’t think we are right for each other.”That lie hurt like a punch to the stomach. Her mouth gaped open andshe struggled to find her next words. “I don’t want to be tieddown. I’m not the marrying type.” Allison blushed as soon as shesaid that. “If I stay any longer I’m afraid I will only hurt Georgemore when it is time to part.”
“Oh.”
Allison looked away. Leaving now would hurtGeorge, too, especially after last night. But she couldn’t changethat. Perhaps it was selfish but she needed last night. She didn’tknow what lay ahead, and that intimacy with George gave hersomething to hold on to, to remember she was worthy of a betterlife.
Allison tiedthe food Emma had given her to a stick. “Thank you again, Emma, foreverything. When George comes in for breakfast please try toexplain things to him. I … I’m sorry, but it has to be thisway.”
Emma nodded.
Allison scurried out the back door. Bold asbrass, Coswell would ride into the front entrance. She wanted to goin the opposite direction. Allison made a wide path behind thehouse onto the neighboring property.
Once a safe distance away, Allison paused andpeered back at the farmhouse. Would she ever be able to settledown? After tasting what life with George would be like she wantedmore. She yearned for the simple life with the man she loved.
Maybe someday it would be possible. Shesighed. Thoughts of him would keep her going, keep her running fromCoswell. If the Lord was kind to her she’d eventually run back intoGeorge’s arms.
She resumed walking; the pain had migrated toher middle and grew with each step until she stooped over. Gettingthrough each day numb to her emotions made life easier, but alsobland. George had made her feel again, made her experience life,see in all the colors of the rainbow. He was the best thing thathad ever happened to her and yet they couldn’t be together. Georgedidn’t understand Coswell. He wasn’t prepared to go up againsthim.
In that respect, he was young and green.
She had to protect him. If Coswell draggedher to one of his whorehouses, she’d survive. George’s kind eyesand dark muscular frame would give her something to dream aboutevery night when another man mounted her and claimed her body.George would be her saving grace, be the one thing that would keepher wanting to live no matter how dark the future became. He washer man if only for one night. George had taught her not all menwere selfish. Deep down she realized he’d die for her, but she’dnever forgive herself it that happened.
He’d gave her hope, renewed the feelings inher formerly numb soul. She’d never forget him.
Chapter 19
GEORGE WOKE AND reached for
