We ran back to the party. It took about five minutes. I’d sweated a lot without even noticing and I thought I might catch a cold, but I didn’t care. I felt so weirdly awake. I felt like I’d woken up for the first time in my life, and that Laura had woken me. I don’t know how else to put it.
We passed the party. The house was still lit up. Carol kept running and I followed right on his heels.
He stopped next to this car parked about a block away. It was really nice, a new Tesla that was all black and gleamed under the streetlights.
He was out of breath and bent over for a second, totally winded. Then he stood straight and put his hand on the hood of the car. “See this? It’s her dad’s car,” Carol said.
“What do you mean?” I said.
“She drove here! But she didn’t say she did, so you could walk her home, ’cause you don’t have a car! She didn’t want to embarrass you. Do you get me?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Yeah.”
He shook his head and grinned. “Man, I’ve heard of a daze, dude, but this is—”
“I love her,” I said.
I didn’t mean to say it. It just came out.
For a second Carol just looked at me.
Then he smiled.
I swear, despite all that squeezie stuff, he could be all right.
“Well, call her. Let me know what happens.”
“Sure,” I said.
“You will call her, right?”
“Sure,” I said.
He grinned and ran away into the dark.
I stood there alone, watching him disappear up the street past the house where kids now were pouring out over the bright lawn, leaving, saying goodbye to Biff in the doorway.
I turned toward home, walking down the hill to my house, which I swear looked like a shack compared to the places up there.
My parents were asleep. I went up all the narrow stairs and got in bed. My room was on the third floor. Everything was quiet. I sat up in bed with a light on, staring at clothes I’d tossed on the floor of my room.
I was scared.
I was very happy, but very scared.
The question had already occurred to me, like I said.
I lay in bed for an hour thinking about it.
Repeating it.
What does she see in me?
I couldn’t tell; it seemed impossible.
I knew she saw something, but I didn’t know what it was.
She was so open, so bold, so free and beautiful.
I was all closed up and hidden.
But now I knew.
Sitting in her basement, I knew.
After what I’d heard in the kitchen, I knew.
What did she see in me?
She saw I was hiding. And that means she saw me.
I’d crawled back onto the dog bed, to once again stare at my favorite boards. I smiled. My own analytic abilities impressed me a lot, sure. But what I really marveled at was how perceptive she was, because that night at the party, I seriously doubt that anyone else there had seen me at all, or would ever remember I’d even been there, Biff included.
So I felt pretty good for a while.
But I didn’t feel too good.
I would have, but the truth is, another question came up, which didn’t feel too good at all.
Had I ever seen her?
Chapter
Nine
I sat up on the dog bed and got my shoes. They were practically dry now.
The house was totally empty.
The only sound I heard was Dobey. He was up there for sure, sort of loping from room to room. I heard his paws thumping around, and a bit of his neck chain sort of dragging over the floor, because he wears this adjustable neck chain for a collar—I guess it’s called a choker—and when it isn’t adjusted properly it hangs really loose in this big loop, which of course tightens up in a second after you put a leash on it.
I put my shoes back on after making very sure they were totally clean, and I lay back on the bed. Believe it or not I hadn’t even peed yet. I felt I barely had to. All that needing to go so badly must have been nerves, because now I definitely felt okay and really had no urge to go anywhere near the sink.
I just lay there listening to Dobey and trying to get my thoughts straight about exactly what I had to do.
I knew Dobey pretty well. He was big.
I mean very big.
Some Dobermans are sleek like greyhounds and very shiny black and brown, but Dobey was that other kind of Doberman, the really humongous kind, with fur that’s still very short but sort of grayish black and not shiny at all, and with so much muscle bulging under his skin that his whole body sort of undulates when he walks because you know he weighs at least one hundred twenty pounds.
I mean he was huge.
But he was pretty nice. Laura had walked him plenty of times when we were together, and he’d certainly gotten used to seeing me.
So I won’t say I was afraid of him attacking me.
Or at least, not that afraid.
I mean, whenever I’d seen him, Laura was always there, and he was on a leash and got plenty of chances to sniff me out, which I must say is pretty embarrassing, especially when you’ve first met a girl and her dog starts gouging his snout really hard right between your legs. But Laura didn’t seem to even notice; I guess she was used to it. And he never bit me or growled at me. I guess he thought I was okay. He never even got bugged when I put my arm around Laura or held her hand, and some dogs, you know, will get pretty touchy about that sort of thing and go off half-cocked if you aren’t careful with their masters.
How he would react to just seeing me alone, though, I didn’t really know.
Of course,
