Courtney put Dr. Doom down and moved to stand in front of him. He stifled the urge to reach out to her. The last time he’d truly opened up to a woman, she’d manipulated him in the worst way. And he’d trusted Allison. Courtney, not so much.
Still, when she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close, he let himself sink into that warmth. Just for tonight, he told himself. Just for this moment, when the world had unraveled. Making love to her wouldn’t solve any of his problems. She didn’t have the answers he needed to find himself. But it was enough just to be with her, in her arms, forgetting about the father who had never believed in him. About the world he couldn’t change. About the woman he couldn’t trust and who clearly didn’t trust him.
Their lovemaking was excruciatingly tender, as if they had reached a deeper connection somehow. And when he left her breathless and spent, she almost said the words she’d been holding back.
Thank goodness her instincts for survival kicked in before she opened herself up completely. Because the minute they were done, he rolled away, presenting his back to her and driving home the point. He didn’t love her.
And she didn’t blame him.
She’d learned her lesson. Maybe there was value in pinning labels on people if all you wanted was an excuse not to care, not to love, not to get too involved. But she’d crossed that line a while ago with Matt. She’d been hoping that he wasn’t like the stereotypes on her list, but she’d gone right ahead and pigeonholed him anyway.
Stupid woman. If she couldn’t trust him, she couldn’t love him. And vice versa. His solid back said it all. In one foolish act of jealousy, she’d destroyed whatever trust they’d been building together over the last couple of weeks.
For the first time in her life, she had no one to blame but herself. And it mortified her to think that she’d hurt him so badly that he hadn’t even been able to accept her apology. The sex had been about comfort, not love and not hate. It had been sweet and kind, but it was the last time. She knew that now.
She lay in his bed for a long time fighting her tears. She had no right to cry in his presence. When his breathing evened out in sleep, she gathered her clothes, dressed in the darkness, and left him.
Chapter Eighteen
Arwen drank two margaritas and ate a whole plate of loaded potato skins while she waited for Rory to show up for his shift. She probably should have gone directly to his apartment, but who knows what she might have said or done? She didn’t trust herself around him, especially not in his bedroom. And she wasn’t about to capitulate. If he wanted something lasting, there had to be movement on both sides.
Her determination to control their meeting evaporated the moment Rory strolled through the door, wearing faded jeans that hugged his hips and the black T-shirt that displayed his beautiful tattoos. He took several steps into the café before he spied her at the bar.
He stopped, and the expression on his face softened somehow. The folds above his eyebrows evened out, the corners of his eyes turned up, and his stubborn mouth relaxed. In that moment, the bad boy morphed into something else. Something both dark but also romantic. No, he wasn’t the kind of man who would take her to a fancy restaurant, but he was the kind of man who listened to her songs and believed in her.
Arwen’s core exploded. She’d missed him. She’d missed the sex, but more than that, she’d missed the way he looked at her, as if she were something grand and special.
He continued toward her, stopping when he’d thoroughly invaded her space. “You’re here,” he said. “I was after missing you, love. Every day this last week or two. Are you back to stay?”
“Um, you got a minute, out in the alley?”
He nodded, and she followed him through the ready room and out into the alleyway, which was far less romantic in the afternoon light than it was in the dark.
“So,” she said once the door shut behind them, “are you going to move away?”
His shoulder hitched, and he broke eye contact. “Linda offered to rent her upstairs bedroom to me if I couldn’t find a better flat somewhere close. And Juni gave me a raise. Said she couldn’t manage the place without me.”
A wave of relief washed through Arwen. “Thank God. I was afraid you were going to take off for parts unknown.”
He looked back at her, his blue eyes filled with emotion. “How could I do that, love? When I understood that you needed to stay?” He took a step toward her. “Look, maybe I didn’t make myself plain. I want you, Arwen. I care about you. And I want to see you succeed.”
Arwen’s heart cracked open a little. “I’m sorry I didn’t understand that at first. And I’m…I’m blown away that you believe in me. I mean the part of me that I don’t believe in myself.”
He nodded. “I know.”
“But here’s the thing. I can’t change everything about me. I mean, I’m uptight. I want to be more relaxed, but I’m never going to be a rebel. And I’m never going to be happy with you unless you change. And I would never ask you to change. It’s got to be something you want for yourself.”
“I know,” he repeated. “I’ve never had a reason to change or to stay anywhere for very long. I’ve been a rolling stone for a long time. But…” He stopped for a moment, taking a breath and stepping closer. “I never had
