‘Yes I can see yourpoint, she’s not going to sit around by herself for ever. At themoment I assume you’re in line for it all but you’re probablyright, that could certainly change. She mentioned this old guyshe’d already had a couple of lunch dates with in Guildford. Hedidn’t sound like a gold-digger but you can never tell. Ratherbizarrely she said he was too old; and if she was planning onsnaring someone younger then I could see that could be a differentstory.’
It was clearto Gemma that she was right about her mother; it was definitelytime to get the plan in the open and to make sure Mark was on thesame wavelength. She decided to go for it.
‘This mightseem callous, and I’ve never told you this really, but the thing isI’ve come to actually hate my mother. It was not so much from whenI was young, ’cos she didn’t really get that much involved with me,with all the helpers she had. It was what she did to Dad. Thinkingback, I can remember her constantly moaning at him for this orthat. I guess I didn’t take much notice of it at the time, but shewould go on about him not being rich or successful in his ownright, and she’d compare him to her father, of course. It was nowonder he sat and worked or read in his study most evenings. Isuppose he had no interest in the type of social networking mymother wanted to get involved with. I remember once when he startedplaying golf with one of his colleagues who lived out of Londonlike him and she went on and on about him never being around. Ithink he just gave it up after a few weeks. It came back to me whenI saw his clubs and golf buggy lying around in the garageearlier.’
Their foodarrived; the claim to be home-cooked might have lacked a littlecredibility but it looked pretty good all the same, even if thechips would no doubt congeal into the tissues at the bottom of thebasket. After they’d decided which of the array of packets ofsauces they’d go for, Gemma continued.
‘You know, Idon’t think there is anything wrong with two people just growingapart, and if that had been the case I would have accepted things,but it was how she treated him and what she did when he got ill.I’m ashamed I didn’t do anything about it now. I couldn’t standthings but just left them to it. She made him feel a burden, Iheard her telling him one afternoon when he was back from thehospital how she had wasted her life on him. I don’t think sheactually told him to hurry up and die but she certainly gave him,and me for that matter, that impression. She was busy contactingprivate nursing homes as soon as he was back home, as if she wasdoing him a favour; and if he hadn’t gone so quickly she wouldn’thave had him hanging around the house, that’s for sure.’
Gemma found thatsaying it out loud was, surprisingly, more painful than she hadexpected, but she could see Mark was taking it in.
‘Look, Iwon’t go on but she made my dad’s life unhappy and his death evenmore so. He told me a few days before he went that I was the onlygood thing that had happened to him. You know, I really hate herfor that; and somehow I want to get her back as well. As well asthat I don’t really trust her either. I’m not saying she’d leave mewith nothing but she’ll always put herself and her enjoymentfirst.’
They sat back andGemma ordered another beer for him and a glass of wine for herself.Mark looked a little shell-shocked.
‘Wow, I knewyou weren’t close, but I never realised all of that. What a cow;but you mustn’t blame yourself, you were too young to doanything.’
Mark wondered if Gemmahad guessed what had already crossed his mind. It was worth atry.
‘This might seemabsolutely crazy but I’ve been thinking, I wasted over six years inprison and I’ve not really got anything together since I got out.If you really want to pay her back and get what you deserve too,maybe we could sort something out.’
It was strange butover the years Mark had always referred to murder or deathelliptically, he’d never felt able to say it out loud. Come tothink of it, ‘sorting out’ was his favourite euphemism.
‘Of course,it is way off the wall and only a thought, and, with my record,hardly feasible.’
Things were workingout just as Gemma had planned. That was enough for now. Sheinterrupted him, she needed to reassure him and leave the finerdetails for the future.
‘Mark,you really wouldhelp me, wouldn’t you? That means so much to me;and now we’re together we’d both benefit too. I don’t know, though,let’s not rush into anything. We’ll see how things workout.’
She knew how his mindworked and no doubt he’d have thought things through already, butno harm in spelling it out while they were on thesubject.
‘I know younever thought you’d go back there, Mark, but maybe you’re right,and maybe in future we need to make sure we get what we deserve.Let’s face it, if it hadn’t been for you assuming Justine wouldsupport you, things would have worked out fine for you. You werebloody clever. I knew that as soon as I met you at Ford Prison. Iactually reckon you could do that sort of thing again withoutanything pointing to you.’
The irony ofit was left in the air for now. They were both well aware of it. Ithad been little over a year since she had been assigned the task ofhelping to assess Mark’s fitness to be released on licence from alife sentence for the murder of his then in-laws, and after that tohelp him with his rehabilitation. She pushed on, keeping it at thelevel of a general idea for the time being.
‘You couldtake charge, you’ve got the ideas – but you do realise, Mark, if wedid do anything I’d support you, I’d be with you absolutely.Anyway, I’m fed up with the probation work, you know that. I wantwhat should be mine anyway;
