It’s a good point but it doesn’t answer my question. “I know all our channels are still set to private, but you wouldn’t post that if they were public, would you?”
Before she can answer, Mr. Ennis jumps in and asks the rest of the class if THEY think Carly should post it.
“Totally!” Natalie says.
“Absolutely,” Tyler adds.
Umberto looks torn but joins in anyway. “I think sometimes the uncomfortable videos are the ones that hit the hardest.”
Mr. Ennis says it’s time to move on to the next video, but before he does, he asks Carly what she’d do.
She doesn’t hesitate. “I’d totally post it.”
Great—make me look like a thoughtless moron just as our teacher is about to screen my new video. Thanks, Carly.
But I don’t need to worry—Monkey Love Hot Sauce is a hit. I’m glad I decided to speed up the video and add sound effects; it makes Frank’s search for hot sauce even more frantic and silly. Mr. Ennis laughs out loud which puts a cherry on top of the class reaction.
“That was great, Derek,” he says. “See what you can accomplish even with all those rules and parental supervision? Your parents did sign off on this, right?”
I can’t tell Mr. Ennis that I was the one who scribbled Mom’s signature on the parental permission form, so I just nod and tell him they liked the video too.
“Frank’s a star,” Tyler says. “Please say you’re using him in all your videos.”
Getting one good video has taken much more time and energy than I’d planned on. But after all those practice attempts, I finally came up with something that works. As I tell Tyler I’m definitely using Frank again, all I can think about is how I’m going to hide my shooting schedule from my parents.
Next up is Matt’s video, which has been shrouded in mystery. All he’s told me is that he gave up the LP idea in favor of something different.
Before Mr. Ennis hits play Matt turns to the class and tells us he decided to do an unboxing video.
WHAT?!
If you’d asked me to bet on what type of YouTube channel Matt would create, unboxing would be at the very bottom of the list. Most of the unboxing channels consist of a woman with fancy nail polish opening toys while her disembodied voice talks to you like you’re a two-year-old. Please don’t say Matt’s going to do THAT. Unboxing a new smartphone or even a bag of Doritos is more like Matt. I’m confused—and curious—to see what he’s come up with.
On-screen, Matt is dressed like a caveman; I recognize the outfit he’s wearing as his mom’s sheepskin rug. His face is dirty and he’s sitting in the woods—which I also recognize as a trail we’ve hiked in the Santa Monica Mountains. Did he use a tripod or did someone else tape it? Does he have another best friend now? I decide to stop worrying and just watch the clip.
His caveman character holds an old cardboard box painted gray, fastened with a piece of jute. Matt put a lot of work into his video too; I guess coming up in the rear of the class taught both of us a lesson last week.
“Welcome to Shopping with Neanderthals. Today, we’re going to see what’s in this package I just picked up at my local StoneMart.”
Several kids laugh, including me.
Caveman Matt unties the string and slowly opens the box. As he does, he’s swatting imaginary flies.
“Ohhhhhh, look at this.” Matt slowly lifts a large rock out of the box and holds it up. “This one’s a beauty. Nice shape, good grip. I’m going to be able to clobber lots of other cavemen with this bad boy.” He weighs the rock in his hand. “They really made some improvements over last year’s model; even the packaging is better.”
He signs off with a grunt and we all applaud. Matt beams, happy that he came up with something funny and original. He tells us his brother Jamie helped him, which eases my fear about a new best friend.
After all the videos are shown, Mr. Ennis tells us he has a surprise. NOW can we have some pizza?
“As of today, you can all move your YouTube settings from private to public so everyone can finally enjoy these beauties.”
Wait—everyone in the WORLD is going to see Carly talking about how mean Matt and I were?
“From here on in,” Mr. Ennis says, “you’ll be promoting your channels and uploading new videos. And remember: It’s not just about views and subscribers—it’s about creating videos you can be proud of.”
As much as Mr. Ennis says it’s not about numbers, I don’t have to ask my classmates what they’ll be aiming for because I already know the answer—views. Umberto, Matt, Carly, and I originally thought we’d all be making videos together. Now I have to compete with not only everyone in the class, but my best friends.
BAIT AND SWITCH
Several kids in our class already have lots of videos “in the can,” which means shot and ready to go. I, on the other hand, have to film all the new Monkey Love Hot Sauce videos from scratch.
As I lie in bed Saturday night, my mind is abuzz with everything I have to do. Film the videos, edit them, upload them, promote them, answer comments … then start all over again. Is this what it feels like to be a grown-up—a constant stream of stuff you need to accomplish? If it is, I’m not in any hurry to sign up.
Even though today is Sunday, Dad has a meeting and Mom’s next door interviewing for a new receptionist, so I’m clear to start filming the next episode of my channel. But first I need to come up with a theme song!
It’s been a while since I used GarageBand, so it takes me
