Her eye contact is so intense, I want to turn away but can’t.
“We humans are privileged to share the planet with these special creatures,” Mary adds. “First and foremost, our job is to protect them.”
I feel Mom gently come up behind me and put her hands on my shoulders. “Derek’s done a good job doing that for two years,” she says. “I don’t want the YouTube incident to take away from the fact that he helped us make a safe and happy home for Frank.”
From his seat at the table, Dad gives me a slight nod to let me know he agrees. Knowing my parents are on my side—even through all my stupid mistakes—feels like the most important thing in the world right now. Bigger than my birthday and Christmas combined.
“Our capuchins make a lot of mistakes also,” Mary continues. “We expect them to. The question is, do they LEARN from their mistakes? I’ve seen capuchins try to take the top off a water bottle hundreds of times,” she says. “But if they really care about improving, they’ll keep trying.”
I could make a crack about how she’s comparing me to a monkey, but even I know that would take the conversation down the wrong road.
“I made this video for whoever ends up with Frank.” I hand her the DVD that Dad had to show me how to burn since I mostly use digital files. “It’s full of instructions so Frank is properly taken care of wherever he goes next.”
Mary smiles. “I’m sure this will be very helpful. Thanks, Derek.”
She spends the next few minutes signing paperwork with Mom.
As Mary heads to the door, I ask if I can hold Frank once more before they go.
I press my forehead against Frank’s and smell his monkey smell for the last time. The enormity of my loss suddenly bowls me over with sadness.
Mary must notice that I’m about to fall apart because she gently takes Frank and says a quick good-bye. As soon as she’s out the door, I do something I haven’t done in years. I’d call it crying, but the sounds coming out of me now are more like a wounded animal wailing than a kid sniffling through tears.
“It’s okay, buddy,” Dad says. “Sometimes a good cry is the best thing.”
I’ve got Mom hugging me on one side, Dad on the other, and Bodi on his hind legs, trying to reach me from the floor. Everybody’s being kind. Everybody’s being supportive.
It’s just that everybody no longer includes Frank.
YOU WANT ME TO WHAT?
After washing my face and spending some time with Bodi, Dad drives me to school. It turns out I only missed my first two classes. All that emotion this morning wore me out and I keep to myself for the rest of the day.
All everyone else can talk about is Carly and Umberto’s appearance on Ellen. Half the people jammed into Mr. Ennis’s classroom at three o’clock aren’t even in our class; they just want to see the show. Ms. McCoddle bought giant bags of candy from Costco, which she passes around in large bowls. I try to rally with my classmates but two things haunt me. First, losing Frank. And second, the conversation I need to have with Mr. Ennis after class. He’s not going to be happy with how I sidestepped his rules and regulations in my YouTube channel. Not. Looking. Forward.
Mr. Ennis’s hair is almost crew cut length as he films the proceedings with his GoPro. “This is really something,” he tells Carly and Umberto. “Those of us who vlog for a living would KILL for an opportunity like this.”
Matt is throwing M&M’s into the air and catching them in his mouth. Umberto’s popping wheelies until he runs over Natalie’s foot. Carly looks almost embarrassed by all the attention.
It’s been a fun class—I learned a lot—but there’s no shaking that feeling of loss too. If fighting with Carly made me feel like wearing a shirt that didn’t fit, betraying my parents and Mr. Ennis and then losing Frank feels like a hole in the bottom of my gut. People say time makes everything better; I don’t know if that applies to monkeys but I hope it does because this feeling of sadness and guilt really hurts.
“IT’S ON! IT’S ON!” Ms. McCoddle takes a seat next to Carly and squeezes her arm.
When Ellen dances, most of us jump up and down. The first guest is Hugh Jackman, who talks about his new blockbuster. During the commercial, everyone yells over each other, full of excitement.
The segment on YouTube kid stars is next and we all scream when Carly and Umberto come onstage.
“You’re wearing a bow tie!” Matt yells to Umberto.
“I went old-school,” Umberto replies.
Ellen asks Carly what it’s like to have such rabid fans. Carly answers confidently; she doesn’t seem nervous at all. I’m guessing the girl jumping up and down in the first row is Power73, and sure enough, Carly tells us it is.
The audience loves Umberto’s clips too, as well as JR’s, a kid from San Francisco who plays with his toys on-screen. He’s been doing this for years and has three hundred million views.
Three hundred million!
When the segment is over, we all go nuts. Mr. Ennis holds up his phone. “Both Carly’s and Umberto’s channels are racking up colossal numbers,” he says. “This week is going to be huge for you guys—NOT that that’s the most important thing!”
After Ms. McCoddle and the kids who aren’t in our class finally leave, Mr. Ennis does a wrap-up of our work. Unfortunately, because my channel is no longer up, I come in pretty much last in every category. Luckily this elective isn’t being graded.
“You guys have been great,” Mr. Ennis says. “See you in the cybersphere.”
I hang back while everyone else leaves, then approach Mr. Ennis.
“What happened to your YouTube channel?”
