“I know. It was a mistake on both our parts. I was just so glad to see you again, and while I’d love to see where this goes, I know we need to take it slower than that.”
“Oh. Ok, then. I’ll just be in the shower. I’ll see you later.” I peeled myself out of bed trying to remind myself that I wasn’t hurt, that I didn’t want to have a relationship with him, and failing miserably.
While I finished showering, Keith came in to say bye. We’d arrived in Bimini and he was going sightseeing and rock climbing with his friends, but would meet up with me for lunch. He put his hands on either side of my face as I was still bathing and kissed me with wild abandon. His lips tasted of alcohol, mint, and his intoxicating blend of honey. He laughed and gave my shoulder a gentle nudge back into the shower, then walked out the door. I was shaking as I finished my shower. I didn’t want this, right?
We were spending the day in Bimini; it was our first stop and also my birthday. The small island of Bimini, as I discovered, was filled with shops, bars, clubs, and vacation hotspots. There were signs everywhere boasting of great snorkeling and scuba diving, something I desperately wanted to take them up on. This would be my first ocean dive. It wouldn’t be nearly as deep as the dive I was going on tomorrow, but the nerves were already dancing with anticipation in my stomach.
The white sandy beaches and crystal blue water was perfect for the aquatic lover in me. I decided that I’d go snorkeling this morning and dive in the afternoon. We wouldn’t be shoving off until tomorrow morning, so I had all day to explore.
I walked along the beach with my snorkel and fins, contemplating where I was in my life. My birthday was always difficult for me. All it brought was another year of pent up frustrations, anger, and heart wrenching loneliness. My parents had passed away a week before I turned eighteen, and before that, they spent most of their time arguing with each other. It was a battle to get custody of Katie, and figure out the insurance settlement after they died, and I’d been trying to keep my remaining family together ever since. This trip was the first thing I’d done for myself since our parents died.
I’d always found the water to be very soothing, and the ocean was no different. I sat on the beach, my feet barely making contact with the waves sweeping the shoreline. As each wave washed up on the shore it released some of my tension; sweeping away my impotent, frustrated anger and the bitterness I was still clinging to from all the loss in my life. The waves washed it all to the depths below. It was past time that I let everything go and lived for myself.
My mind wandered back to Keith without my permission. Images of the night before floated through my head, but I shoved them away. Running into Keith here had really thrown a wrench in my plans. This was supposed to be all about me, what I wanted, rediscovering who I was outside of work and family obligations. I’d always used them as distractions and excuses to not do things, but I couldn’t do that anymore. I was determined to figure out what I wanted in life.
I wasn’t even sure I wanted a relationship or if it was the constant societal demands that elicited these feelings. I liked my quiet apartment and wasn’t sure I wanted to share it with another human. If I was being honest with myself, I still dreamt of finding my soul mate; that childhood fantasy of the perfect person made specifically for me. Most days I felt the chance of finding that one special person in the world were slim to none. As far as I was concerned, you’d have to be pretty lucky to find someone you could actually stand talking to every day for the rest of your life. If you did happen to find that one person, what were the odds that they’d even be available?
During my contemplation I realized that I had picked up a circular stone that was slightly larger than my thumbnail. I looked down to see what I had found and gasped. It was a flat, perfect circle with writing on one side and a carving of a wolf howling next to a crescent moon on the other. The eyes of the wolf were two tiny emeralds and the moon held what looked like diamonds at each tip. The side with writing was very peculiar. It simply said, amada. It wasn’t a word I’d ever heard of, but was beautiful to read. Surrounding the stone was a thin strip of silver with a loop at the top for a chain. I knew in my heart that someone carved this for a person they loved very much. Apart from the value, the attention to detail was astounding, especially for being on something so small.
I thought about taking it to the police department but couldn’t bring myself to part with something so beautiful. It felt wrong somehow, as if I was denying a gift from the sea. For some reason I felt as if I was meant to find it, that it was fate.
“Thank you, I love it,” I whispered to the ocean.
I took my pants off, and put the opal in the small pocket of them before setting them on the beach. The pants and my sandals would mark my place so I wouldn’t get lost while snorkeling. I walked out to the crystal blue water up to my waist and put on my fins. Clearing out the snorkel, I put it on, and swam around for a while. I
