“I think you know how I feelabout you.”
“Professionally or personally?”
He lowered his eyes, avoiding herinterrogating stare. He didn’t answer. It confirmed her suspicions.
“Then why not…?” Her voicebroke, her bottom lip trembled. This time the tears were real.
He couldn’t help but take her inhis arms. Every instinct told him not to. If she kissed him this time, hewould be powerless to resist – and she knew it. She chose not to, content tolet him hold her.
She pulled away enough to look upinto his eyes. “Is there someone else?”
“No.” There was no hesitation inhis soft reply. He gently ran his thumbs along her cheekbones, wiping away hertears.
She ventured a small smile. “Then you don’t know what you’re missing,” she teased.
He kissed her with the tendernessof a man who knew what he wanted, but without the passion of a lover. One handslid through her hair to the back of her neck, the other found its way to thesmall of her back. He folded his arms around her and held her body againsthis.
When he broke the kiss, he wasbreathless. His heart pounded in his chest as the blood coursed through hisveins. She was caught up in the swirling emotion in his eyes. His handsrested gently on her shoulders, keeping her inches away from him.
“Believe me, I do,” he whisperedhoarsely, answering her last comment. It was all he could do to stop his handsfrom moving over her again. “Now get out of here before I change my mind.”
She took the hint and obeyedimmediately.
He sank heavily against the wall,tilted his head up and stared at the ceiling, clenching his fists and thumpingthe wall beside him. His knees felt weak, his collar was choking him, he wasalmost in a sweat. He had underestimated the affect Kat had on him.
He hadn’t fully regained hiscomposure when he got back to his quarters. Dunlop took one look at him andgrinned. “Guess I was wrong. It looks like my staff are upsetting you.”
John glared, but didn’t answer.
“You’ve always had a soft spotfor her. From the moment you set foot on this ship. Cold shower?”
“It doesn’t work.” Thefrustration showed through in John’s voice.
“You’ve got more self controlthan any man I know.”
“Yeah, well I’m just about tolose it.”
“I thought you and –”
“That’s none of your business,”John snapped. He had no intention of discussing his private life with anyone. He dropped into a chair and rubbed his forehead. “I don’t think I’ll begetting much sleep tonight,” he muttered to himself.
Dunlop was watching him carefully. “Basketball?”
John was about to say no, thenchanged his mind. He had to do something to relieve the frustration he wasfeeling. Maybe if he wore himself out completely, he would be able to sleep. Tomorrow was another day.
Humphries was playing with theArans, who welcomed the addition of two more players. The Arans’ skills werenowhere near as good, but they had a distinct advantage in being able to remainairborne twice as long. It made goal shooting and defending much easier andtended to even up the odds.
* * *
McReidy was angry with someonethe next morning. The entire bridge crew noticed her mood. It didn’t takelong to realise that whatever was upsetting her was John’s fault. She treatedeveryone else normally. She didn’t speak to John unless she had to, and therewas a sharpness to her voice that she didn’t try to hide.
The evening poker game wasworse. In the more social atmosphere, she let fly with a few comments that shenormally wouldn’t have. John frowned. He couldn’t figure out why she was soangry, but he wasn’t about to say anything in front of the others.
McReidy excused herself early,pretending she was tired.
Gillespie turned to John. “Whathave you done now?”
“I haven’t done anything,” Johndefended himself.
“Maybe that’s your problem.”
“Shut up.” John stood up. He’dhad enough of McReidy and was determined to put an end to it. “I’m out,” hetold them and followed McReidy.
It took him a minute to catch upwith her, halfway to her quarters.
“All right. Out with it,” hedemanded.
She bit her lip and refused toanswer, staring back at him defiantly.
“You’ve been grumpy all day. What’s your problem?”
“You should know.” She turnedaway.
He grabbed her arm and pulled herback. “No. I don’t know.”
“The way you treated Kat.”
He wondered exactly how much shedid know.
“The way you treat all of us,”she continued, now on a roll. “Some of us have got feelings you know –”
“And I don’t?”
“No. Just because you haven’tgot a heart, doesn’t give you the right to break Kat’s. I used to think youwere different, but you’re not. You’re the most insensitive and inconsiderateman in the entire universe.”
“Did Kat say that?” Johnseriously doubted.
“She didn’t say anything. Shedidn’t have to. She’s the sweetest kid on this ship and you… Nothing elsematters as long as you get your own way. You don’t care who you hurt in theprocess as long as it’s not you. You wouldn’t know how to let anyone in. Itwouldn’t matter anyway. There’s nothing inside you but a piece of ice that eventhe Denebian sun couldn’t melt.”
“Hold on a minute!” He didn’tknow why he let her continue on as long as he did. None of the men would havedared. “She was the one who tried to seduce me!”
“A little louder,” McReidyscreamed, her hands on her hips. “I don’t think they heard you down inengineering!”
John steamed. This was notsomething he wanted to finish in the corridor. He grabbed McReidy by herjacket front, dangerously close to her throat, which he was tempted to wrap hisfingers around. He opened the nearest door and dragged her inside,subconsciously stepping over Humphries’ dominoes in the process.
It was one of the crew quarters.
“Out!” John ordered.
There were a few stifledprotests, but everyone was quick to obey. He released McReidy and quicklychecked to make sure there was no one else. It gave him a few precious minutesto regain his composure and simmer down.
“Kat and I have anunderstanding.” His voice was barely controlled, his eyes burned into hers. “Which you know nothing about. But then, that really isn’t any of yourbusiness. Is it?”
She had no answer. He wasn’tgoing to let her answer. She had had her say outside.
“If Kat, or
