John nodded. “I want you to workwith Lieutenant Spencer. She’s fluent in four languages and familiar with afew more. Take as much time as you need. This is your number one priority andyou’re off the bridge until it’s done.”
Tan’s face fell. He lowered hiseyes and closed them momentarily.
“Don’t think of this as apenalty.”
“Yes, sir.”
The sombre tone indicated heconsidered it was.
“There’s no one else on this shipwho has the ability to crack it. If Command or our allies had been able to doso, we’d know what we’re walking into. But they haven’t and we don’t.”
Tan let out a breath and lookedup. “When do you want me to start, sir?”
“Now.”
“That cruiser is still on ourtail and…” He hesitated, gauging John’s response and deciding against continuing.
“We’ll manage.”
“Yes, sir.”
* * *
For two days, the cruiserrelentlessly pursued the little ship. Giacomo and Gillespie were the only onesJohn was willing to entrust the ship to in his absence from the bridge. Engineering was worried about the engines overheating. They couldn’t maintainthis speed indefinitely. Without a chance to cool down, they were going toexplode. The cruiser, it seemed, was in similar difficulties. With her extrabulk, the strain on her engines must have been incredible. Without warning,she suddenly broke off her pursuit… and disappeared.
John could relax at last. Hedidn’t know why the cruiser broke away, and he didn’t care. He slowed the shipto a sensible speed, allowing maintenance crews to repair any damage they hadsustained.
It was peaceful without McReidyon the bridge. Orders were obeyed without question. Everything ran smoothly;the way it was supposed to. And yet, it was different. Almost too quiet.
John had gotten used to havingher around, having her constantly under his feet at every step. She had asmile that could warm him, and a glare that could chill. Occasionally, shebrought out his best; more often, it was his worst. If only she wouldn’t defyhim at every chance. And that, he remembered as he sat at the desk in hisquarters that night, was why he had thrown her off the bridge.
The beep at the door interruptedhis thoughts.
“Come in,” he called, flicking aswitch on his desk to unlock the door.
Gillespie entered, glanced aroundto see where John was and casually strolled towards the desk. He took inJohn’s mood in an instant – calm, but ready to blow.
John shoved the chair nearest himwith his foot, propelling it across the floor to Gillespie. “I was wonderingwhen you’d turn up.”
Gillespie stopped the chair inhis hands. He took off his insignia, looking at it briefly before tossing itonto the desk. “Permission to speak freely, sir.”
John watched the insignia bounceand settle. Off the record and no consequences.
“Granted.” He spun his chair tothe side slightly, allowing him to slide his feet onto the desk. Spying adirty spot on one boot, he rubbed it against the back of his leg, then replacedit on the desk as he spoke. “If you’ve come to plead McReidy’s case, forgetit.”
“Actually, I came here to talksome sense into you. But I don’t think that’s ever been achieved in yourentire life.”
At least he was getting straightto the point.
“But since you brought it up…” Gillespie took the opening that was offered. “Don’t you think you’re being abit rough?”
John glared. “I will not besecond guessed on the bridge. I can’t afford to be wrong, or undermined.”
“If I had said it, you would haveknocked me down and it would have been over.”
“If you had said it, you wouldstill be in sick bay! And don’t think I wasn’t severely tempted.” A flickerof anger rekindled in his eyes. He would never admit how close he had been tophysically striking McReidy.
“No, you couldn’t hit a woman. So you did the worst thing you possibly could to her.”
“She asked for it.” There was nosign of regret.
Gillespie sighed heavily, changingtack. “What happened to the young guy who pinched Magellan and blew upBetelgeuse, believing people were more important than red tape?”
A flicker of remembrance lit upJohn’s eyes. It was gone as quickly as it appeared.
“He grew up,” John answered solemnly.
“I don’t think so. He was stillthere at Tricon. In fact…” Gillespie paused thoughtfully. “You haven’t beenthe same since Ark Royal was lost.”
That was too much for John. Hewas on his feet immediately and leaning over the desk. He supported his weighton straight arms, his hands in clenched fists. “You’re way out of line!”
“Am I?” Gillespie leaned forwardmatching John’s pose. He was completely calm. “I think I’m just scratchingthe surface.”
“Do you want to be relieved ofduty?”
It was more a warning than aquestion, to which Gillespie paid no heed.
“You gave me permission to speakfreely.”
John relented. A low growlemanated as he pushed off the desk.
“We’ve all lost people.” Gillespie had control of the conversation. Now, it was his turn to bully. “Get over it.”
“I can’t.”
John couldn’t hide the pain thewords dragged out. It was tearing him apart. A rage that he had neverreleased and one that McReidy, as a woman, had unconsciously tapped.
“Then accept it.”
John’s head shook slowly. “I’llnever accept that she’s gone.” He didn’t know how the words came out clearly,his voice faltered on every syllable.
“So that’s what this is allabout.” Gillespie spoke almost to himself.
“I don’t know what you’re talkingabout.”
“Why we’re kitted out. Whyyou’ve been pushing the crew so hard. There’s nothing defensive about it. You’ve been turning this ship into a battleship. You’re out for revenge.” Heturned away, one hand raised to his brow, and paced the length of the desk andback again as his own words sank in. “Snap out of it before you get us allkilled!”
“I can’t sit around the backblocks watching someone else do what I should be doing.”
Gillespie met the immovable brickwall. He backed off, softening as he took a breath. “I can’t talk you out ofit, can I?”
“No. But I’ve no intention ofdying yet. The crew’s pulling together nicely. They’re inexperienced andthey’re going to make mistakes. That’s why I can’t afford to be wrong.”
Gillespie shook his headslowly and swore under his breath as he accepted the inevitability of John’smotives. “Giacomo flies like you.”
John smiled for the first time atthe
