Until I got there.
Parked in my driveway was Ryan’s massive truck and Jay’s sporty BMW convertible. As I turned the corner and saw them both there waiting for me, I considered driving right on by. If it hadn’t been for Coltrane I probably would have.
I parked on the street and got out of my car. “Hey guys.”
Both were standing outside of their respective vehicles, leaning against them, Jay with his hands in his pockets and Ryan with his arms crossed in front of his chest. It was like they’d both taken a class on How to Stand Like a Dude. Coltrane, sweet boy that he was, didn’t try to play it cool. He bounded over to me with unabashed excitement and gave me a proper hello.
“Thanks for taking him today,” I said to Ryan.
“Happy to,” Ryan said. “I love this guy.”
“Riley, can we talk?” Jay cut in, impatient for my attention.
My hand automatically went to my forehead as the pounding began to strengthen behind my eyeballs. “Listen, it’s late and I’ve had a hell of a day . . .”
“It won’t take long, I promise.”
I sighed and looked down the street.
Ryan immediately picked up on the tension. “If she says she’s tired, then maybe you ought to lay off?”
Jay stiffened. He didn’t seem to appreciate being told what to do by my ex-boyfriend. Ironically, that title now applied to him as well.
“Ryan, it’s okay.”
“Yeah, Ryan, we don’t need your input here,” Jay said with more vitriol than I’d ever heard him use before.
“Hey,” I spun around and pointed at Jay. “You don’t get to talk to him like that—”
“Yeah, you—”
“Shush.” I swiveled my finger toward Ryan. “You’re just here to drop off Coltrane, thankyouverymuch.” And then I felt bad about being snippy so I added, “I really do appreciate the help.”
“Fine,” he huffed. “But I hope you’d tell me if you needed something . . .”
“Goodnight, Ryan.”
Ryan gave Coltrane one last pat on the head and got into his massive truck. As the engine roared to life, Jay and I stood framed in its headlights.
“Five minutes? Please?”
The last thing in the world I wanted to do at that moment was to have a difficult conversation, but I could see he wasn’t going to leave me alone until he “unburdened himself.” I nodded my weary consent and unlocked the door and the three of us went inside.
“How are you after what happened this morning?” Jay sat on the couch and I purposely sat across the room in the armchair. Of course, Coltrane sat at his feet. I needed to have a talk with that dog about where exactly he thought his bread was buttered—and by whom.
“It has been a long day,” I said, which didn’t really answer the question. The truth was I didn’t know how I was feeling. I had been so busy all day that the last thing I had time for was to reflect on my feelings. Besides, my feelings were no longer Jay’s concern.
He took a deep breath and exhaled audibly, like he was in yoga class. That made me nervous. What was he about to say that he needed yoga breathing for?
“I’ll get right to it. The woman you saw at my apartment, her name is Ginny, and she’s my partner.”
“Okay, great,” I said, standing up. “Thanks for telling me. I hope you two are very happy together.”
“No,” he said, and he stood up too, so we were standing face to face. “You don’t understand—”
“Jay,” I said, aware of how close we were standing to each other and how much harder that made this conversation. “You don’t have to say anything else. It’s fine. We want different things, apparently. Just go home to your girlfriend—oh sorry, partner,” I said. “Excuse me for not being up on the current terminology.”
“What?” A deep crease appeared over the bridge of his nose. “No, from the DEA. Ginny was my partner at the agency up in Camden for five years.”
Oh. That kind of partner. I should have been more embarrassed for myself, but I honestly didn’t have the energy. I didn’t even try to hide the hope from my voice when I asked, “So she’s not your girlfriend?”
“No. You are my girlfriend.”
“I am?” The stress of the day caught up to me and I could feel tears building at the base of my eyes. I looked down. “The only one?”
Jay’s finger swept down my cheekbone and rested under my chin. He tilted it up so that we were once again eye to eye. “The only one.”
I threw my arms around his head and kissed him with enough enthusiasm to hopefully make up for being so crazy the past couple of days.
He kissed me back and then, just when it seemed like things were going to get more interesting, pulled away. “There’s something else I need to tell you though.”
“Anything,” I said, my arms still around his neck.
“Ginny came to town yesterday to give me some big news . . .” He paused, staring at me for an unreasonably long interval.
She won the lottery? She’s getting married? She got pulled onstage at a Maroon 5 concert? “Well—what is it?”
He sighed, looked down, and then straight up into my eyes. “She’s been made the special agent in charge of the DC office . . . and she’s asked me to come work for her.” He hesitated, and it was as if I could see the guilt settle on his shoulders like a cloak. “And I said yes. I leave in two weeks.”
I unclasped my
