I am still baffled by the fact that the Marine Corps has never been required to provide any data to prove that segregated boot camp is an effective practice.
The gender bias that women in the Marine Corps face every day is not only sad but also dangerous. The leadership's lack of focus on how to make the Marine Corps better means zero positive growth for the service that I love and that keeps our nation safe.
It's exasperating and nonsensical. Despite the support of key members of Congress, no one on the Hill or in the Department of Defense is saying, “If you're doing this right, why do we have women failing at boot camp at such an exponentially higher rate than men at boot camp? Why are they getting broken when science says…”
The American public is not holding the Marine Corps accountable for showing data that backs up the claim that segregation is necessary to make better female Marines.
I think I'm always going to feel a little angry about my relief of command. It was the worst thing I have ever experienced, personally and professionally, and it almost cost me my life. If Joe had not been my Kate whisperer, telling me every day that it would be okay and that everything would work out, I know I would have taken my life after I was fired. I battle with feeling shame every day because of what the Marine Corps said about me and what many people persist in believing, even when confronted with the facts. But Joe is patient and kind and never lets me stay down long. And even on my darkest day, I know in my heart I am not the evil person they painted me to be.
Joe said recently, “We've already done what we need to do to make this a win. It's already a win,” meaning not only that we were able to get my side of the story out in the media, but also that I was able to take on a bigger advocacy role for women in the military as a result.
But I said, “No. It's not a win.” As somebody who is a rule follower (I am an I/ESTJ for those who have taken the Briggs-Myers personality inventory), it is practically in my DNA to make sure that people are taken care of and that those who screw up are held accountable. It's disturbing for me to know that no one has been held to task for how resistant the Marine Corps is to cultural change. Sixty years ago, Marine leaders said African American Marines shouldn't be integrated into the rest of the service, because they were not as capable as whites. How much talent did the Marine Corps miss out on then, due to misconceptions about the abilities of African American men? And how much longer is it going to take to ensure there is a level playing field for women in the Marine Corps, by ending segregated boot camp and ensuring high performance standards and expectations for men and women?
If I have learned one thing over the past few years, it is that timing is everything. I know I will never get my job or reputation back, and that is not the purpose of this book.
I want this to be a wake-up call that the Marine Corps can't deny and must answer to, even if it means I get slammed in the press again—because I know the Marine Corps isn't done with me yet. When this book comes out, I have no doubt they will, once again, attack my reputation.
The leadership needs to understand this isn't about me: it's about ensuring that women who join the service ten years from now do not have to deal with the same sexist attitudes and treatment that female Marines have had to deal with for decades. By shedding light on the longstanding training deficiencies for women at Parris Island and how they negatively influence the culture of the Marine Corps, my hope is that people will ask serious questions. I want to have better treatment for female Marines, to improve the quality of Marines who come out of boot camp to keep the nation safe, and to eliminate any perceptions that women can't achieve high standards and compete.
My hope is that my story, and the story of the struggle against gender bias in the Marine Corps, will create a bridge between civilian and military women to demonstrate that the issues we face are the same. When women threaten the established male hierarchy, we face backlash. Women everywhere, whether they are first responders, professors, or executives, all face the same challenges.
The fact is, we can't change the culture of the Marine Corps without the public being in the fight. Countless studies have demonstrated how diversity in thought makes organizations more powerful, and the military is no different.
When I started on this journey, it was important for me to tell my story, but I wanted to do it in a way that would help provide context to nonmilitary people about the gender-related challenges women in the Marine Corps face. I wanted to show the public that the root cause of sexual misconduct in the military—namely, the lopsided power dynamic between men and women—is the same as it is in regular society.
As we began work on this book, I had no way of knowing that the Harvey Weinstein Hollywood sex scandal would explode into the mainstream media in 2017, leading to the resurgence of Tarana Burke's 2006 #MeToo movement, and the
