At these words, my mother felt small and insulted. After the man left, she prayed, “Oh God, somehow bring that family’s daughter to our house in Malaudh. Cause a relationship to develop between one of their daughters and Krishan, so that they should be married.”
Not knowing these details, I mulled over my options while my mother kept this story to herself, only choosing to tell me about it at the end of my visit.
Days passed as I thought about which girl I should choose. There were many factors to consider, the biggest one being that while I wanted to know more about Raj Verma, I felt pressure to consider the girl from Patiala. What would happen if I chose Raj in the end? My brother-in-law, who had invested so much attention in the match between me and the Patiala girl, would be angry. The father of the girl, also a close friend of my father’s,
might never want to see us again. The relations involved were a delicate matter to be handled with care.
While I considered my predicament, the Nabha family came to Malaudh to talk to us. “What is your decision?” they wanted to know. “What do we need to do in order to make this happen?”
“I would like to see the girl again,” I told them. “This time no big lunch or social gathering, and this time at her house, not her uncle’s.” They agreed happily.
On the day we arrived at her house, the family insisted we eat a small lunch with them. My father and I sat around the table with Raj and her parents, brother, and grandmother. This time there were no uncles or other family members to watch the ordeal. When we finished lunch, everyone left the table, leaving Raj and me to talk by ourselves, although her mother and grandmother sat barely seven feet away.
Raj looked at me, waiting, and I was at a loss about what to ask. I started by inquiring more about her degree and where she’d earned it.
“I studied at Chandigarh,” she said, “where I pursued my interest in science and animals with a master’s in zoology.”
I remembered a letter sent to me by a professor from Chandigarh. Professor Mehra had expressed an interest in a match between one of his daughters and me. He would be returning from Paris in a couple of weeks and wanted to pursue the matter.
“Do you know Mehra?” I asked, thinking Raj might have taken classes with him.
It seemed that Raj felt there must be some talk going on between the professor and me because she said, “Oh yes, I do know him. He has six daughters, and the ones I have seen are very pretty and well-educated.”
Surprised at how quickly she picked up on my connection to the professor, I felt awkward and dumb for mentioning him. It did not seem appropriate to bring up a connection with another man and his daughter to a girl I might someday marry. I did not know what else to say, and we ended the conversation. It lasted about ten to fifteen minutes, and her mother, seeing that we were done, gave Raj an indication to leave. Now, she wanted to know my decision.
“I will need to discuss the matter with my parents first,” I said.
Normally, it is the tradition for the parents to advise or make the decision about which girl is the most suitable to marry. But in my case, I had studied abroad, finally returning after nine long years, and my parents wanted me to have the final say.
One night, while staying in New Delhi with Ved and his wife, I explained my predicament in great detail, speaking openly and honestly with them.
“On one side,” I told them, “it is my father’s close friend and distant relative, whose daughter I saw twice, a girl who is a little on the heavy side with one crossed eye. On the other side, it is Raj, who seems very intelligent and good-looking, having a master’s with honors in zoology, who comes from a good family, and whose sisters and brother are well educated.”
Ved’s wife advised me, “Krishan, you should do what your heart tells you to do. You’re the one getting married, and it’s your life, and you’re going to live with her, and it’s you who will take her back to the US.”
I thought it over. What would my friends in the US and my boss, Mr. Gilreath, say if I married the girl from Patiala? I imagined them saying, “Kris, is that the girl you went there for?” I didn’t feel comfortable with this thought and realized, as my cousin’s wife said, I must please myself and go with the decision that made me the most comfortable.
After thinking it through, I said, “I am leaning toward the girl in Nabha.”
My cousin’s wife smiled at me and said joyfully, “Go for it with great confidence.”
Chapter 13
Since I was back in India after such a long time away, I was particular about going through all the marriage traditions, even though time was running short. During the first week of November, I sent Mr. Gilreath a letter stating: “I have taken six weeks time off, and it is already six weeks that I have been here. I hope you will understand it is a matter of my lifetime companion, so it is taking a little longer than I anticipated. Please grant me a little longer—another three weeks’ leave. I will appreciate it very much, and I will also keep you informed with the progress of finding a suitable girl in India.”
With my request for an extended leave settled, we turned our attention to choosing the best engagement and wedding dates in line with the astrological signs. However, while we were staying with my sister in Patiala, my uncle brought a halt to our planning stage by raising an issue.
“This girl must be older than they are saying,” he said. “We are told she is twenty-three, but
