I couldn’t help but wonder, as we all sat down to dinner at the outdoor teak dining table that night, if Emerson wasn’t making a little history of her own, bringing Mark to dinner with our entire family—minus Adam.
I had put on a maxi dress that was way too big now, and Caroline had fixed my hair so it wasn’t stringy or in my face. I had never been big on makeup, but I had to admit that the little bit of highlighter and blush Emerson had swiped on my cheeks had made a huge difference. “When you look better, you feel better,” she had said. I didn’t agree with that, but I didn’t protest, partly because it was easier not to and partly because I didn’t want her to be embarrassed of her big sister at her first family dinner with Mark.
He was so cute and clean cut, very fraternity boy in his neat khaki shorts and oxford with the sleeves rolled up. He looked a little nervous but also pleased as punch to be with Emerson. I had helped Mom set the table with rattan place mats, her Juliska Petit Singe—the boys loved the little monkeys it was named for—and wineglasses. I couldn’t find the joy in it, but there was something soothing about the monotony of putting out all those gold forks and knives and spoons, of placing a wineglass at every seat. Mom had made arrangements of fresh hydrangeas from the yard and placed them down the table in vases of varying height. It was simple and beautiful.
Kyle and Kimmy had prepared a summer feast. Tomato sandwiches, string beans and boiled potatoes, corn on the cob, strawberries with fresh whipped cream, blackberries, squash and onions, field peas. It was a simple, healthy Southern spread. Grammy leaned over to me and said, “This reminds me of the dinners I used to make when you girls were little.” I wanted to smile at her. I swear I did. But I just couldn’t.
“Those were the best summers, weren’t they?” How I longed to go back in time to one of those carefree, sandy days before life had gotten hard, before love had begun to hurt.
As we passed the dishes around, family style, Caroline said, “This time next week, you’ll be doing this at Seafarer, Viv.”
“Yay!” Vivi exclaimed.
All of us had attended Camp Seafarer in North Carolina. We learned to sail and run powerboats, became expert swimmers, sang silly songs, played tennis, practiced archery . . . The list goes on. We had all loved camp, but Caroline particularly adored it, which was kind of funny since rustic cabins and no air-conditioning didn’t exactly fit Caroline’s overall vibe. But it wasn’t the accommodations she loved. It was the water. She was one of the best boaters to ever come out of Seafarer, earning all her ranks and winning the Captain’s award. She even did a semester at sea during college and got her captain’s license. That was Caroline. When she loved something, she went all out.
“You’re going to have the best time,” Emerson said. “We loved camp so much.”
Part of me couldn’t imagine this Park Avenue girl in the crowded dining hall. But if she had even an ounce of her mother’s love of the water, Vivi would be OK.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Emerson whispering something to a laughing Mark as Caroline said, “Girls, I had the best, best idea.”
I felt nervous butterflies in the pit of my stomach. Whenever Caroline had the best, best idea for “the girls,” it somehow included me and it somehow put me way out of my comfort zone.
“No,” I said.
Everyone at the table laughed.
“Good girl, Sloane,” James said. “When this one has an idea, it’s best to just get out of the way.” He kissed Caroline’s bare shoulder.
“Ha. Ha,” she said. “No, my great idea is that Emerson, Sloane, and I take Vivi to camp.”
That didn’t sound so bad. I could probably handle that.
“By boat,” she added.
Ah, there it was. “No way, Caroline,” I said. “I can’t leave the boys for that long.”
She and Emerson shared a glance, and I knew it meant, You didn’t so much as look at them for over a month. Why so concerned now?
They weren’t wrong.
“It’s only three days there and three days back,” Mom said.
I scowled at her, and she looked back down at her plate. “Sorry,” she said. “Just trying to help.”
“That would be marvelous,” Grammy said. “We used to take you girls by boat sometimes.”
“Oh, I remember,” I said. I mostly remembered being seasick while Caroline handled the mast and the jib like she had been born on a boat. It was just one more tiny way that Caroline was better than I was, as if being smarter and more beautiful and more popular wasn’t enough.
“I’ll be here with Preston,” James said, “and I’m happy to help Ansley with AJ and Taylor.”
“That’s so sweet, James,” Mom said. “And Linda begged me to let her have them, so I told her I’d bring them to Athens for the last few days of the trip.”
I looked around the table, realizing I had been ambushed. “Wait,” I said. “Wait just a minute. You all plotted against me, planned how I will leave my children and possibly miss an update about my husband? That’s really nice.” I paused. “And it’s really not happening.”
I looked at Caroline’s face, and I could tell it was happening.
“We’re not going to Cuba, Sloane,” Caroline said. “For heaven’s sake. We’ll be completely reachable at all times.”
I could feel my mind resigning itself to this plan, forgetting I was an adult, slipping back into the old pattern of Caroline being the big sister, me being the little sister, and my role in life doing what she said.
“We’re going to have a really good time,” Emerson said. She was sitting across from me, holding Mark’s
