christmas
december 23, 1992
Girl picked up Samson at midnight and they drove to the grocery store. The night was crisp with a hint of expectation that always materialized with the snow in late December.
“When do you want to do gifts?” Samson asked.
“I don’t know. We could bring everything to Mom’s, or we could do them alone ahead of time,” Girl answered. She was really excited about their first Christmas together. She had bought Samson a black sweater with black leather trim and bottles of both his favorite cologne and a new one she had liked at the store as well. She had bought the nut-driver tool set he asked for, spending all of her extra money on presents, as she did every year. Samson had warned Girl that if he found any presents hidden in the house that he would open them right away. Girl wrapped his presents and then hid them under the seats in her car and piled old McDonald’s bags on top of them. Samson always called her car the “B. F. Dumpster” so she knew he would never think to look there. She was proud of her trickery but she didn’t know how she was going to wait two more days. She loved Christmas.
They were having the three Chevy siblings that lived in town—Timmy, Carson, and Cindy—over for dinner Christmas Eve, then were going to church with Girl’s parents for the late service.
“I think we should open them at home Christmas Eve,” Girl said. She really didn’t want to wait any longer.
“I think we should open them tonight, so it’s just us,” Samson said.
“Okay!”
They stopped at a red light, waiting for the left turn arrow, when Samson looked at Girl strangely—his mouth was somehow wrong and his eyes looked watery.
“I want you to be my wife,” he said, pulling a box from his pocket.
It wasn’t really a question, but she said “yes” anyway and started to cry. The ring was a small marquis-cut diamond that he had picked out with his sister that afternoon, while Girl was at school. Girl thought it looked like a glittering snowflake plucked from the Christmas air and set on a fine gold band. Married. It was all she had ever wanted in the world.
clash of the titans
Girl finished her associate’s degree that summer and joined Sharon at St. John Fisher, a four-year college. She and Samson had been engaged for a year but were waiting for Girl to finish her bachelor’s degree to get married. Father, Stepmother, and Mother were all contributing to her expenses: paying tuition, making her car payments, and giving Girl enough child support so that she could go to school full time and work only part time. Girl had lunch with Mother nearly every week, and on Sundays she went to their house for family dinner.
“Mother, I like having lunch with you, but I don’t want to come to family dinner anymore. I just can’t deal with Stepmother,” Girl told Mother over the phone.
“That’s fine,” Mother said, her voice evenly modulated. “But Stepmother pays half of your tuition and car payment. If you refuse to see her, don’t expect her to continue to support you.”
Girl was sick of them holding money over her head. She did the math during class—now that Samson was collecting unemployment plus working under the table at the bike shop, they had more money than they ever had before. Girl was working part time at a new flower shop, and they liked her there. If she worked full time instead of part time, they’d only be short about $100–$200 a month, and she could still take a class or two at night. Girl wanted to be a real grown-up, not dependent on anyone. She wanted to have her own family. She wanted a wedding. She wanted to be Mrs. Somebody.
If Girl stopped taking Stepmother’s money, she wouldn’t have to play “happy family” anymore. So what if it took her as extra year or two to finish? She told Samson her plan, and he agreed. He had only gone to college for a few semesters and then dropped out, so he didn’t see a four-year degree as essential, and she already had an associate’s degree. They decided to push the wedding up to the next summer, just under a year away.
Stepmother’s parents—Girl’s grandparents—were in town from West Virginia. Even though they were not thrilled that their daughter was gay, they always acted like real grandparents toward the children. They were somewhat conservative and profoundly religious, so everyone agreed not to tell them that Samson and Girl were living together. It seemed easiest.
Girl and Samson went to her parents’ house for dinner. They pulled extra chairs from the dining room to make places for everyone in the living room. Everyone was sitting around and talking, and Samson was needling Stepmother. She had made her living selling life insurance, though she had been receiving mental-health disability for years, selling policies under Mother’s name. Samson was collecting unemployment from his factory job, but working six days a week at the bike shop. They were both scamming the system, as far as Girl was concerned. Samson was going on about how insurance was all a racket, and that people who sold insurance were even worse than used car salesmen. Girl was in a side conversation with her grandmother and not really listening. Samson liked to provoke people when he was bored, and he and Stepmother had no great love for each other. Stepmother looked down on his lack of education, and he looked down on her lack of
