youth group
Girl was Unitarian, and Father had been too, when he was married to Mother and then #Four, but #Five had turned him into a Methodist. Father still went to #Five’s old church, even though he had left her for the new youth minister. Girl was not supposed to tell anyone that Father and Daisy had been dating since she came up from Texas for her job interview months before. Father had shown Girl the love notes he and Daisy had sent back and forth in the months between when they met and when she moved to Anchorage, reusing the same envelope. Father had rented a secret mailbox so #Five wouldn’t see the letters. Everyone liked to pretend that he just happened to fall in love with Daisy after his divorce was final.
Daisy was a mountain of a woman: close to six feet tall and shaped like a very large and fluffy bowling pin. Father had a thing for ugly women. He liked to say that he saw the beauty inside, but Girl had a feeling it had something to do with liking women who had poor self-esteem. It gave Father the upper hand. Girl and Brother called Daisy “Beluga” behind her back, after the white whales that swam in Cook Inlet, but it was more about sounding cool than meant with any real malicious intent. Daisy had shoulder-length, frizzy blond hair and a gap between her front teeth. Girl could see how batshit crazy she was about Father, but Daisy also seemed excited about being a stepmother and always called Girl “Baby Girl” with her sweet southern accent and it made Girl feel warm and small and loved. Daisy joked that if she ever married Father, she would insist on being referred to as “Mrs. C. B. Lillibridge the Sixth.”
Girl was not Christian at all, and she thought the Methodist service was boring and long and the music was stupid, but Jack ran the sound board and taught her to do it, too. She liked running sound, pushing the levers up and down and making sure there was no buzzing and that everyone could hear the sermon. Plus, she had to sit through both services every week since Daisy was a minister and Father wanted to watch her “do her thing.” Running the sound made time go by faster.
Her first week in Alaska she was sent to youth group on Wednesday night. Girl was excited about youth group, because although the Unitarian Church she attended back home had a solid gang of kids, they had no official youth group and no way to get together during the week. Jack picked her up in his grandfather’s gold car, and they entered the parking lot fishtailing and doing donuts, like Jack always did. Girl pretended she wasn’t scared and wordlessly clamped her eyes shut tight, but she felt like a movie star when she got out of the car and saw all the other kids watching them. Cool. That’s all she had ever wanted to be. Jack gave her a ride because his parents made him, but as soon as they walked in he went over to the preps and left her alone.
“You know not to tell anyone we screw around sometimes,” he said before they got out of the car. “You’re a nice girl, but I can’t be seen with you.”
“I know,” Girl said defensively. She knew she wasn’t cool enough for anyone to be seen with. She would never embarrass him—who did he think she was? She knew her place.
Youth Group started with a prayer and a song and she could tell that none of these kids—who didn’t say hi or even smile at her—were going to be anything like the Unitarians. First off, no one skateboarded or wore fedoras or dressed in tie-dyed T-shirts. They were all boring preps except for Jared, a long-haired kid wearing a jean jacket and a T-shirt that read YNGWIE WHO? YNGWIE FUCKING MALMSTEEN, THAT’S WHO! Girl sat next to him. She didn’t know who Yngwie was, but she was in favor of shirts that said fuck.
After church, a tall, geeky kid named John came over to talk to her. He was kind of chubby and cross-eyed, but he invited her to party with him and his friends that Friday, and Girl said yes. She hadn’t ever partied or gotten high before, but it was on her list of things to do as soon as possible.
John picked her up in a red camper van. She wore her airplane outfit again—it was still the coolest thing she owned. He introduced her to his friends: Mason, the driver; Connor, a cute brown-haired sophomore; Randy, an ugly, sullen kid. The van’s back seat was sideways, facing the sliding door, and they had a mini-fridge in the back. Their first stop was a liquor store, and Girl handed John her money to add to the pot.
After some deliberation, it was decided that John should try first. He was only sixteen, but his burly frame and collared shirt made him look older. Girl watched him stand in line through the car window. What would they do if he got caught? Sure, she had snuck sips of vodka from her mother’s liquor cabinet, but she never tried to buy any.
John came out of the store holding a brown bag above his head in victory,
