But then she wouldn’t have made the cut, she had to admit. Claire could hardly expect to have qualified as a close friend when she’d been back in Scotty’s life for mere months after an absence of eight years. So he was inviting lesser friends and acquaintances, too. She was on his B-list.
In her mind, she realised, a wedding arranged in such haste wasn’t serious – at least, not serious enough for the whole town to turn out. It wasn’t something people would change their Christmas Eve plans for. They wouldn’t book expensive last-minute flights and rush their formal wear to the dry cleaner. It wasn’t worthy of much of a fuss, because it surely wouldn’t last. It couldn’t last. What was that old saying? Marry in haste, repent at leisure.
That was what Claire believed – it was the reason she had come to Bindallarah – but clearly two hundred of Scotty and Nina’s nearest and dearest didn’t agree. Scotty and Nina may be marrying in haste, but their friends didn’t seem to be worried that it was a mistake. They were going to converge on Cape Ashe Stud on Christmas Eve to watch Scotty and Nina tie the knot, because they believed the couple was the real deal. They believed their union would last.
Claire was the only one who thought otherwise. She’d assumed everybody could see the same impending disaster she could, but perhaps she was blind. The only one with doubts. And she did have doubts. Every time she saw Scotty, she had less faith in the fate of his marriage. Every moment she spent with him made her more convinced that his marrying Nina was the wrong move.
Every minute Scotty was by her side, Claire felt a growing sense of panic at the thought of letting him go.
‘Okay,’ Scotty was saying to Toby, ‘let’s make it two pigs on spits, your Tex Mex food truck and the salad buffet for the vegetarians. And what about just a barbeque for stragglers? Bacon-and-egg rolls at midnight, that sort of thing. Could you do that?’
‘No worries, mate.’ Toby took a stubby pencil from behind his ear and scribbled down Scotty’s instructions. ‘How are you for grog? It’s not really my area, but I could probably sort something out. Package deal.’
‘Thanks, Toby, but I’ve got it covered. Noel is doing a few kegs and a cocktail bar for us.’ Scotty gestured beyond the shop window in the rough direction of the Bindallarah Hotel, where Noel Thomas had been the publican for donkey’s years. ‘The wedding’s at five. Do you think you could be set up by three o’clock?’
Toby nodded and went to the register at the back of the shop to calculate the cost of Scotty’s order.
‘Well, that was easy,’ Claire said. ‘You don’t need me here at all, Scotty. You know exactly what you want.’ That was becoming increasingly obvious.
‘I do need you here, Claire,’ he said. ‘You’re the voice of reason. I probably would have only ordered a dozen snags and a loaf of bread if you weren’t here to remind me of the ridiculous number of people coming to the wedding.’
She laughed, but Scotty let out a troubled sigh. ‘This is a lot to handle in a short space of time. Honestly, I was feeling pretty stressed out until you offered to help.’
‘Really?’ Claire was taken aback. ‘You haven’t seemed stressed out at all. To the casual observer it looks like you’re taking everything in your stride.’
Scotty gave a wry smile. ‘I guess I’m a good actor.’
Before Claire could respond, Toby returned and handed Scotty an invoice. ‘There you go, mate,’ the butcher said. ‘It’s ten per cent up front, with the balance due the day before the bash.’
Scotty handed over his credit card and Toby retreated to the register once more. Claire seized the opportunity.
‘Scotty, why get married so quickly? If you’re feeling overwhelmed, just wait a while. There’s really no need to rush,’ she implored. ‘Spend some time getting to know Nina better. Enjoy being engaged. Give yourselves a chance to figure out if this is truly what you want.’
She saw the muscles of his jaw clench as he gritted his teeth. Claire knew what that meant: he was annoyed. He was rarely angry, but she knew when his fuse was burning. The jaw clench was a classic Scotty Shannon tell. But whether he was irritated by what she’d said or simply the fact that she’d said anything at all, Claire couldn’t distinguish.
‘You’re right. There’s no need to rush,’ Scotty said eventually, and for a beautiful instant her heart soared. ‘But there’s no need to delay either. We know what we’re doing. What’s the point in waiting?’ His deep-green eyes bored into hers. ‘Can you give me one reason why I shouldn’t marry Nina on Christmas Eve, Claire?’
I can give you a thousand reasons, she thought. Her legs felt shaky under the weight of Scotty’s intense gaze. You just met. You barely know her. Nina seems weirdly detached from the whole thing.
And I don’t want to lose you.
The thought struck her with the devastating force of a freight train.
She didn’t want to stop mattering to him. Maybe they would still be friends after Scotty married Nina, but it wouldn’t be the same. Claire would return to Sydney and Scotty would get on with the business of being a husband and, inevitably, a father. She wouldn’t have the same access to him – neither tangibly nor emotionally.
Claire didn’t want the lifetime they had shared – give or take a few absences – to be less important to Scotty. And they would. A friendship would never compare to a marriage, no matter how longstanding or profound. It couldn’t. It shouldn’t.
But she wasn’t about to tell Scotty any of this. It wasn’t his job to allay her fears for their friendship when she’d shown him more than once over the years that she could take it
