‘One message,’ he spat, ‘that didn’t tell me where you were or who you were with. I thought something had happened to you. I’ve been going out of my mind, Claire.’
Claire gritted her teeth and fought to damp down the irritation that sparked inside her. What do you care where I go? she wanted to shout. You’re about to get married, and you’ve been lying to me all along.
Instead she said, ‘Where are you going? The party’s this way.’ She attempted a smile as she jerked her thumb over her shoulder.
‘I’m going into town to get more drinks,’ Scotty replied. Then his shoulders sagged and he sighed. ‘Actually, that’s not true. Chris offered to go, but I said I would because I needed an excuse to get out of there.’
At once, the prickly feeling in her stomach was washed away by concern. ‘Why?’ Instinctively, she took a step towards him. ‘Scotty, are you okay? What’s going on?’
He looked at her then. Really looked at her, his gaze asking a question she couldn’t comprehend. ‘I lied to you.’
‘I know.’
She heard his sharp intake of breath. ‘You know? How?’
Claire looked down at her feet, at the sand covering her toes. The fine white powder was cold despite the warmth of the evening and Claire wished she’d worn shoes. She felt chilled to the bone.
‘Nina told me,’ she said. When Scotty tipped his head back and looked to the sky she rushed to add, ‘She didn’t mean to. I put two and two together and figured out that you proposed to her after we went out that night – after you’d already told me you were engaged.’
His gaze returned to her. ‘And?’
Claire squared her shoulders. This was it. ‘And it’s okay,’ she said. ‘I understand why you did it.’
Scotty studied her for a long moment. ‘I don’t think you do,’ he said.
‘I know you were trying to spare my feelings, Scotty. You were worried I’d read something deeper into our friendship – something that isn’t there – and you knew that Nina’s the one for you, so you jumped the gun in telling me the news.’ She shrugged. ‘It’s quite sweet in a ham-fisted kind of way. I do appreciate you looking out for me and I’m sorry I’ve been such a nightmare.’
There. She had said her piece. Leaving out the inconvenient I’m-still-in-love-with-you part, obviously, but that was her own sorry mess to untangle. The most important things were apologising for her meddling and trying to salvage some semblance of a friendship with Scotty. She would figure out the rest later. What was it they said in those twelve-step programs – the first step is admitting you have a problem?
Scotty’s mouth hung open. He looked at Claire like he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
‘You think I lied because I was trying to do the right thing by you?’ he said. ‘Trying to do you a favour?’
Claire arched an eyebrow. ‘Weren’t you?’
‘No! I was trying to . . .’ Scotty faltered and looked to the heavens once more. It was as if he was hoping the stars would spell out the words he was looking for. ‘Did you?’
‘Did I what?’
‘Did you’ – he made air quotes with his fingers – ‘“read something deeper into our friendship?” Did you think we were going to be more than friends?’
She bit her lip. ‘I don’t think I realised it at the time, but . . . yes. There was probably a part of me that hoped there might still be a chance for us.’
Scotty groaned. It was a raw, primal sound and it shook Claire to her core.
‘But I don’t feel that way now,’ she said, reaching it out to him, pressing her palm to his chest. ‘I promise.’ It wasn’t technically a lie. She loved him, but she had finally stopped kidding herself that there was any hope for them.
‘Then what are you doing here, Claire?’
An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of Claire’s stomach. ‘What?’
‘Why are you here? In Bindy? You told me on Saturday night that you came back to try to convince me to cancel my wedding, but I am going to marry Nina on Christmas Eve,’ he said with heat in his voice.
‘I know that,’ she said meekly.
‘Have you changed your mind then? Or do you still think it’s a bad idea for me and Nina to get married?’
She hesitated, then nodded. Knowing that her feelings for Scotty were the real reason she didn’t want him to tie the knot in four days’ time didn’t change the fact that marrying a woman he knew virtually nothing about was, empirically speaking, completely insane.
‘So if you’re not sticking around so that you can support me on my wedding day, then what is it?’ he demanded.
Claire turned her head and peered into the darkness. She felt helpless. ‘What do you want me to say, Scotty?’
‘I just want you to be honest with me. With yourself,’ he said, his voice rising with every word. ‘You say you hoped there was a chance for us. Why didn’t you do something about it? You tracked me down, remember? You had months before I met Nina to make a decision about us. But you didn’t.’
He took a step back and Claire’s hand, still pressed to his chest, fell away. ‘You don’t want me, Claire. You’ve made that clear, over and over again,’ he said. ‘And I can’t keep waiting and hoping that you might change your mind. I’m not going to keep putting my heart on the line for you to stomp all over it.’
Claire reeled. Scotty’s words were like a physical blow. She had no idea, not a clue that he felt that way.
You had months to make a decision about us.
All that time they’d spent reconnecting – time Claire had spent convincing herself she wasn’t falling in love with him again – Scotty was
