Nina looked up and saw Claire and Alex approaching. She waved and even from a distance Claire could see the anxiety in her eyes.
She looks scared.
Not nervous. Not like she felt the excited last-minute jitters expected of a woman about to marry the love of her life. This was doubt. This was fear.
Or was Claire just projecting her own feelings about the wedding onto Nina? It was probably a figment of her imagination – just like so many other things had been lately.
She felt panic start to claw at her as she scanned the growing crowd for Scotty. If Nina was on meet-and-greet duty, he surely would be too. She wasn’t prepared to see him, to watch him smile and laugh and shake the hands of the people who had come to watch him get married. She had come to watch him get married, because she knew it was the only way to rid herself of the dream of him – to exorcise his ghost once and for all. But she wasn’t ready. Not yet.
She needed a few more minutes to get used to the idea that she was about to say goodbye to the only man she’d ever loved.
‘Are you okay, Claire?’ Alex asked suddenly.
‘Yes,’ she said a little too quickly. ‘Why wouldn’t I be?’
He looked down at her white-knuckled grip on his hand. ‘No reason. It just kind of seems like you’re trying to break my fingers.’
‘God, sorry, Alex,’ she said, releasing his hand. He shook it and flexed his fingers several times. ‘Actually, you know what? You were right about these ridiculous shoes. They’re killing me already. I’m going to go put my thongs on.’
He flashed a cheeky grin. ‘I’m not one to say I told you so . . .’
‘Yes, yes, you’re very astute,’ she said, returning his smile. ‘See you up there?’
He nodded and continued along the path. Claire took off her shoes and breathed a sigh of relief as the pain in her feet abated. She hurried back to the unlocked car and threw the offending heels in the back seat, then slid her feet into her rubber thongs.
And then she kept right on walking – away from the wedding.
She went to the stables and paused, listening. Usually she would hear the soft chorus of a dozen or so mares chuntering in their stalls. But tonight all was quiet, the horses having been dispersed for their own safety to isolated paddock shelters dotted around the Shannons’ vast property.
Only one horse remained in the stable block. Claire slipped into Autumn’s stall and found the mare standing motionless but for the occasional swish of her tail. Her stillness alarmed Claire and she hurried to her, checking that her trach tube and incision site were clean and running her hands over her satiny hair to ensure she wasn’t too warm. Everything seemed normal, aside from the distended belly that told Claire the arrival of Autumn’s foal was imminent.
She realised that Autumn’s inactivity wasn’t caused by illness. She was still simply because she was tired. She was heavily pregnant and had fought her way back from the brink of death twice in as many weeks. The mare was just trying to rest, to replenish and ready herself for her next great challenge.
‘I think I could learn a thing or two from you, girl,’ Claire said softly as she stroked Autumn’s muzzle. ‘Less do, more be. Maybe I wouldn’t be quite so crazy then, huh?’
‘You’re not that crazy,’ came a voice from behind.
She turned to see Scotty leaning against the doorframe, his hands thrust in his pockets. Her heart sank as her eyes devoured him. He wore a charcoal-grey suit with a skinny black tie and had used a copious amount of gel to tame his hair. He looked like a schoolboy going to his first job interview. Or a country vet on his way to go through the motions of pretending to marry a stranger.
He was beautiful.
She heard Scotty’s breath catch in his throat as he looked at her. ‘God, Claire. You look . . .’ His gaze travelled the length of her body, then back again. He cleared his throat. ‘That’s a lovely dress.’
‘What are you doing here, Scotty? Shouldn’t you be getting ready to say “I do”?’ Had he come to remind her that she’d missed out? To warn her not to make a scene and ruin his big day?
To tell her she wasn’t welcome there at all?
He came into the stall, stepped close enough to her that she could feel the heat of him radiating against her bare skin. When he looked down at her, Claire felt small and exposed. He towered over her in her flat shoes. Scotty had no idea how easy it would be for him to break her open in that moment.
‘I’ve hardly seen you this week,’ he said. ‘Not since . . .’
A bitter laugh escaped her lips. He made it sound like they were old girlfriends who were overdue a catch-up. ‘Not since Wednesday night,’ she supplied. ‘I didn’t think you wanted to see me, Scotty. You seemed pretty adamant that I’ve done my dash with you.’
He looked away from her, absently reaching out to pat Autumn’s nose. Seconds passed, but it felt like days.
They hadn’t spoken at all since the party. Unlike the volley of calls and messages he’d sent after he kissed her and she fled to Thorne Hill, this time Scotty hadn’t even tried to contact her. Claire was glad. She wasn’t sure she would have been able to summon the courage to confront him with what she knew about the wedding. She didn’t know if she was strong enough to hear him lie to her again.
‘The things I said to
