And Endgame had lost Micah Samson. Jude had lost his best friend. Those memories were hard to relive. Hard to think about.
“I knew Nina was sick that day, but I had no idea she’d been poisoned. I don’t know to this day if the Piper was responsible, and I haven’t asked. All I knew was that I was supposed to be support for that operation, not on-site with you.”
She laughed, and it was mirthless. “I was as surprised as you, Dagan, when King called me up for the op. And I was scared.”
“You should have been,” King finally said.
“When we crashed, I came to and found myself facedown in the sand with Brody and Micah on either side of me. Then I saw Savidge gun them both down, and I knew I was next. I could feel you all out there, watching. When he put the barrel against my temple, I knew that was it.”
“But it wasn’t, was it?” Jude bit out.
She shook her head and closed her eyes, blocking out the sounds of the gun going off and the red spray blotting her eyes a split second before oblivion took her down. She woke to that sound from her nightmares. She would never forget it.
“No. When I woke up…well, let’s just say Dresden doesn’t treat his prisoners of war very well. After a few days, I discovered Brody was alive but that they’d buried Micah in a graveyard outside Beirut. It took me another few weeks to h-heal.” She stuttered on that word because she had never fully healed. Not from what Savidge had done to her. She swallowed thickly, refusing to give in here. They didn’t need her memories of that horror. “Then I realized that I had the perfect way in. Hell, I was already in. I just had to make Dresden believe I was his.”
“The Piper didn’t have to work too hard, did he?” Rook mused out loud.
It was akin to treason, the words he spoke. Endgame was a private entity on paper, but they were all soldiers to their cores. Insinuating that their creator had been the master manipulator in all of this walked the line of treason.
More silence, pregnant with all manner of unspoken questions she couldn’t answer and hoped they never voiced. She’d have to tell Jude the truth if she survived. But that was a big if and would be an even bigger one eventually. She wondered if being around him, kissing him, had bestowed her with some kind of false hope.
Still, she had to give them something. “He got everything he could have asked for when we went down in the desert.”
She felt Jude’s gaze on her—the hot, tactile caress of it dulling her pain for a few precious seconds. She lifted her head and met that obsidian gaze.
“I didn’t leave you,” she whispered. “I never left you.”
Jude didn’t acknowledge her statement, and that was okay. She’d put herself in his place a million times over the last year. She’d have been devastated if he’d done to her what she’d done to him.
“Where can we find Dresden? What’s his weakness?” King asked, breaking the rising tension.
“Here’s where we part ways,” Ella replied mournfully. “I can’t give you that. I asked you to talk to the Piper.”
If she gave these men Dresden, she’d lose all hope of finding out who was in charge of him. After the last year of pain and sorrow, and for all the future horror Dresden could inflict on the world, she would not do that.
“I told you back in Moscow, you’re either in this with us or out. This is your fork in the road, Banning,” King told her.
“I can’t give you Dresden. Not yet,” she responded, skirting the line between giving them something and giving away nothing.
“You’re coming back with us?” Rook asked the question, but she addressed her reply to Jude.
“Not yet.” Please, don’t give up on me, she pleaded silently. Please.
“Then there’s nothing to say, is there?” King asked. “We’re done here. You’ll go your way; we’ll go ours.”
She nodded, and it nearly broke her. The Piper had warned her these men and women of Endgame were no joke. They believed in the team over everything, and leaving them meant she might never be able to return.
To keep Jude safe, she’d risk everything.
“Rook, you’re first watch. Then me, then Jude,” King said.
“What about me?” Ella asked before she could stop the question from escaping.
King simply looked at her and didn’t reply.
Ella stood then, grabbing the shredded shards of her heart, and headed inside, up the stairs to the sagging bed. She placed her gun within easy reach beside the bed and lay down. She needed to rest because tomorrow she walked back into hell. For tonight, she took refuge in the fact that she slept in the company of soldiers.
She closed her eyes and prayed for a sleep uninterrupted by nightmares.
* * *
Jude opened her door as quietly as the rusted hinges would allow and stepped into the room. She was asleep, the steady rise and fall of her chest obvious in the moon’s light. He strode to the bed softly and sank down beside her, the bed sagging in the middle so badly that she slid back into his body.
He wrapped his arms around her as her body conformed to his, sinking into his hard places, her butt into his hips, her head finding purchase on his bicep. He waited for her to wake, but she didn’t.
He didn’t know if he was relieved or frustrated. Besides two nights before when he’d carried her on the car ride
