She used the bathroom, brushed her teeth, and washed her face. He stood right there, just in case she was too weak to handle the mundane tasks, but she felt remarkably well considering two, almost three days ago she’d been shot in the side at nearly point-blank range.
“I don’t want to lie down,” she warned him.
He held up his hands in surrender but stayed close as she walked to an enormous chair that looked brand new. It was butter-soft cream leather, and she sank into it gratefully, leaning back. “This getting shot shit sucks,” she told him softly.
“Yeah,” he said, a grin curving his lips. “You hungry?”
“I’d kill for some chili,” she whispered.
He raised his eyebrow and smiled. “You can’t handle my chili right now, lady.”
“I can try?”
He crossed his arms over his chest, and she licked her lips. He laughed. “We talking chili or fucking?”
“Yes,” she said with a laugh.
“None of that for a while, baby. Heal, then we’ll burrow like rabbits to make up for lost time.”
She pouted, and he kissed her lips, very slowly and very thoroughly. “I need a little more of that,” she urged.
“You think?”
She nodded and smiled. It felt good.
“Francisco is going to stop by periodically to check on you. And you’ll have to go back to the doctor for clearance, but we’ll get you better, El.”
“I know. I never doubted. It’ll be good to see Francisco again,” she murmured.
Ella glanced out the big window he’d placed the chair beside and noticed the river winding below them. “I need to tell you some things.” It was past time, and better she do it now, so that as she got back on her feet, they had nothing between them, none of her secrets or lies.
Worry passed like a cloud over his face, but he pulled up an ottoman and sat in front of her. “I’m here.”
Just like that. He had always been a rock for her.
“You didn’t get rid of the beach house, did you?” she asked suddenly.
“I rented it out, but the lease expires in a month,” he said. “Why?”
Ella took a deep breath, locked down her pain, and opened her box of secrets. “When I woke up in Dresden’s cell, I smelled the sea, and for just a moment, I heard your voice in my ear. I’d like to visit the beach house soon.”
“What was I saying?” he asked cautiously.
Ella met his gaze. “‘Move heaven and earth to get back to me, El.’” She swallowed thickly, and Jude handed her a bottled water. She took a healthy swig and stared at him. “That morning, before we left the beach house you said you’d move heaven and earth to get back to me. Those words gave me strength because, Jude, he made me suffer in that cell.”
“Give it to me, Ella. Let me help you carry it,” Jude demanded softly.
She nodded. She could do this. “I told you about the first few days with Dresden and Savidge. And you know Savidge was responsible for the scars on my back. But it’s what they did to Brody that nearly broke me.
“Brody saved me in that hellhole. As they’d work him over, he’d stare into my eyes, and I tried to take as much as I could.” She sobbed and caught herself before more came out. “I tried to give him as much of my strength as I could. I hurt so bad, and I remember the feel of dried blood because they never had anyone treat the bullet wound on my temple. Sometimes, it would split back open and the blood would flow into my eyes. But I always gave Brody my eyes because he needed that. He needed someone to witness his pain, because he refused to give them what they wanted by screaming and begging. They did things to him, Jude, I can never tell another soul because it would betray Brody and he deserves so much more than that. But they hurt him until I gave Dresden what he wanted—confirmation that Allie Redding was Gray Broemig’s daughter.” Ella hung her head, still unable to believe she’d given over an innocent, yet convinced she’d do it again to prevent Brody from being hurt.
“He put up with so much pain in that cell with me.” She took a deep breath and reached for the calm. “But Brody didn’t break until I did. I couldn’t stop screaming the last night Savidge cut me. He’d brought acid that night, and he dribbled it on my cuts, never letting it drip down my back, just making sure it stayed in the cuts. I screamed and screamed, and they made Brody watch. I couldn’t give him my eyes, and eventually he screamed too. He pleaded for them to stop, to give him any punishment they felt I deserved. He screamed because he hoped that’s what they wanted, for him to break in my pain. I screamed in pain and despair, and I screamed because I wasn’t strong enough to hold my silence for him, like he’d done for me.”
She broke apart then, tears flowing down her cheeks, and through it all, Jude sat there, holding her hands, saying nothing, just giving her his gaze as she struggled to put her pain in place.
“Brody screamed because of my pain. And he yelled until he bled from his mouth, his vocal cords shredded, and he was choking on blood. Then they laughed, hit the lever, and let me fall to the floor beside him. We lay there the whole night, broken.” She drew in a shuddering breath. “They took him from me the next morning, and I didn’t hear his voice until about nine months later…in fact, right before I saved King’s ass in Spain.”
She glanced out the window, watching the river flow. “When I first agreed to work with Piper, I was all God and country. I knew Dresden wanted Endgame—you, Rook, and King specifically—but my purpose wasn’t solely selfish.” She went quiet and looked back at her
