‘Ellie lived for almost twenty-two hours. I changed her nappy, I held her, I told her... I... I loved her.’ The grief, the pain, the despair of losing his daughter came to the fore and he cried like he’d never cried before. CJ did nothing but hold him, support him. She didn’t ask questions. Instead, she cried along with him, sharing in his loss.
Eventually, he was able to ease back, looking around for more tissues. He spied the box on the kitchen bench and eased himself from CJ’s arms, before bringing the box back to the table and sitting down again. His legs weren’t strong enough to support him; every muscle in his body ached yet the relief at having finally told someone else about Abigail’s deception and the resulting consequences was overwhelming.
‘I gave Ellie a bottle and she wrapped her tiny fingers around one of mine.’ He blew his nose again and exhaled a calming breath. ‘I took photos of her but I’ve never shown them to anyone, I’ve never looked at them again.’
‘I’m so glad you took some pictures of her. She deserves that, she deserves to be remembered and loved by you for ever.’ As CJ spoke, a fresh bout of tears flowed down her own cheeks. ‘You’re an amazing man, Ethan, and you would have made an amazing dad.’
‘How could you possibly know that?’
‘Because of the way you talk about Ellie.’ She gave him a watery smile. ‘You use the same tone my father used to use when he was talking about how much he loved me and my sister, and my dad was a great dad.’
He absorbed her words for a moment, then asked again, ‘Do you really think I would have been a good daddy?’
Her smile was bright and she nodded. ‘I know it. The way you look after me, the way you make me rest—it all makes sense now.’ It also explained the veiled anger and desperation she’d seen him convey towards Margaret. ‘I’m not going to do anything to jeopardise the health of this baby or myself. That’s why I brought you in, why I eventually agreed to hire a locum.’
‘I know.’ He reached out and brushed a few strands of hair from her eyes, tucking them behind her ear. ‘You’re willing to ask for help. You’re open and honest about your limitations. I like that about you.’ Whereas Abigail had hidden everything from him. She’d been drinking for months—he’d never known why—and whilst he carried his fair share of the blame in the situation, he’d also come to realise that Abby also bore that blame and had paid for it with her life.
Now, with CJ, it was as though a new world was being opened for him. A world with laughter and a tinge of hope on the horizon. Was it possible he didn’t have to keep punishing himself by working day and night, staring down the barrel of an early grave? He stared into CJ’s dazzling green eyes and cupped her cheek with his hand before leaning a little closer, the atmosphere between them changing from one of support to one of heightened awareness.
He couldn’t stop looking at her mouth and she couldn’t stop looking at his. It was as though leaning forward, bringing herself closer to him, to within kissing distance, was the most natural thing in the world.
‘CJ.’ He whispered her name, the sound soft, delicate and intimate. As he neared, their breath began to mingle, the pheromones blending to form a heady combination. When she licked her lips in anticipation, he exhaled slowly but continued to decrease the space between his mouth and hers.
Before she knew it, Ethan’s lips were pressed to hers, much the same as they’d been before, but this time there was more pressure, with the heightened need to figure out exactly what existed between them. She breathed in a deep, shaky breath before sighing into the kiss.
Bringing his other hand up to fully cup her face, he took his time exploring the tastes and flavours she exuded. She was sweeter than anything he’d ever experienced. She filled his senses completely. He could feel himself going under, wanting more, needing more, and she didn’t disappoint.
He’d thought that one kiss might get her out of his system. That one kiss might help him to sleep at night. That one kiss would be all he would ever need from her. He was wrong. Groaning, he leaned closer, sifting his fingers through her loose hair, the silkiness of the tendrils only adding fuel to the fire that was already burning wildly through him.
How was it possible to barely know someone yet feel such an undeniable attraction? How was it possible to trust someone, to experience the primal need to take everything being offered? And it was being offered, on both sides. Both of them were one hundred percent involved in the moment, in the heat and delight. What it meant, CJ had no clue but while the exquisite torture continued, she was going to ensure she savoured every moment.
This was passion as she’d never felt it before. How could he stir such incredible longing with a few teasing and exploratory kisses? It was incredible and she felt as though she were floating...lifted up on the wings of desire—desire she was thrilled to discover was mutual.
As though he wanted to continue the slow discovery of every part of
