A triumphant story about love, loss and finding hope—against all odds
“We looked down at the cliff jutting into the sea, a rubber boat full of kids going under the arch, and then you started running and jumping through the grass, dodging the rabbit holes, shouting at the top of your voice, so I started chasing you, trying to catch you, and we were laughing so hard as we ran and ran, kicking up rainbow showers in the leaves.”
Rob Coates feels like he’s won the lottery of life. There is Anna, his incredible wife, their London town house and, most precious of all, Jack, their son, who makes every day an extraordinary adventure. But when a devastating illness befalls his family, Rob’s world begins to unravel. Suddenly finding himself alone, Rob seeks solace in photographing the skyscrapers and clifftops he and his son Jack used to visit. And just when it seems that all hope is lost, Rob embarks on the most unforgettable of journeys to find his way back to life, and forgiveness.
We Own the Sky is a tender, heartrending, but ultimately life-affirming novel that will resonate deeply with anyone who has suffered loss or experienced great love. With stunning eloquence and acumen, Luke Allnutt has penned a soaring debut and a true testament to the power of love, showing how even the most thoroughly broken heart can learn to beat again.
“A breathtaking read that describes perfectly the joy and pain that comes with loving fully and all the compassion and forgiveness it requires. Brimming with hope to the very end.”
—Steven Rowley, bestselling author of Lily and the Octopus
“Anyone who wishes David Nicholls would write faster needs to grab this with both hands. It’s a truly stunning achievement.”
—Jill Mansell, Meet Me at Beachcomber Bay
Praise for We Own the Sky
“With literary chops and dramatic intensity, this heartbreaking story of a father’s love that defies all reason takes off on the first page and never touches down.”
—Jacquelyn Mitchard, The Deep End of the Ocean and Two if By Sea
“Luke Allnutt’s astounding debut is about memory, love, and how when we are broken, we still can become whole…. The kind of book you’ll have to share.”
—Caroline Leavitt, Pictures of You
“We Own the Sky offers something remarkable: light in the darkest dark and redemption where there ought to be none.”
—Laurie Frankel, This Is How It Always Is
“With grace, emotional keenness and a steady moral searchlight, Luke Allnutt guides the reader through the darkest despair and back to hope.”
—Val Emmich, The Reminders
“Luke Allnutt’s writing is full of compassion. It made me hold my loved ones a little bit closer.”
—Katie May, The Whitstable High Tide Swimming Club
“Movingly tender and unflinchingly honest.”
—Isabel Ashdown, Little Sister
“A haunting novel about having the world in your hands, losing it all, and trying to recapture a semblance of life and hope one sunrise and one starry night at a time.”
—Viola Shipman, The Charm Bracelet
“Visceral [and] heart-breaking.”
—Jem Lester, Shtum
“Beautifully rendered and profoundly moving…. Luke Allnutt is a major new talent in fiction.”
—Camille Pagán, Life and Other Near-Death Experiences
“A heartbreak of a novel filled with love, sorrow, pain, and—ultimately—hope.”
—Jill Santopolo, The Light We Lost
“Fearless and beautiful and inspiring. [We Own the Sky] made me think about the kind of person I want to be. Superb.”
—Katie Marsh, This Beautiful Life
We Own the Sky
Luke Allnutt
For Markéta, Tommy and Danny
Contents
Part One
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Tintagel
Part Two
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Durdle Door
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Hampstead Heath
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
The Gherkin
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Epsom Downs
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Box Hill
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
The Seven Sisters
Chapter 17
Somewhere Over Germany
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Part Three
Chapter 1
London Eye
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Beachy Head
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Part One
1
She read up a storm before she left. In her favorite hard-backed chair; in bed, propped up on a mound of pillows. The books spilled over from the bedside table, piling up on the floor. She preferred foreign detective novels and she plowed through them, her lips chastely pursed, her face rigid, unmoving.
Sometimes I would wake in the night and see the lamp was still on: Anna, a harsh, unmoving silhouette, sat with a straight back, just how she was always taught. She did not acknowledge that I had woken, even though I turned toward her, but stared down into her book, flicking through the pages as if she was cramming for a test.
At first it was just the usual suspects from Scandinavia—Henning Mankell, Stieg Larsson—but then she moved on: German noir from the 1940s, a Thai series set in 1960s Phuket. The covers were familiar at first—recognizable fonts and designs from major publishers—but soon they became more esoteric, with foreign typesetting and different bindings.
And then, one day, she was gone. I don’t know where those books are now. I have looked for them since, to see if a few of them have snuck onto my shelves, but I have never found any. I imagine she took them all with her, packed them up in one of her color-coded trash bags.
The days after she left are a haze. A memory of anesthetic. Drawn curtains and neat vodka. An unsettling quietness, like the birds going silent before an eclipse. I remember sitting in the living room and staring at a crystal tumbler and wondering whether fingers of vodka were horizontal or vertical.
There was a draft that blew through the house. Under the doors, through the cracks in the walls. I think I knew where it was coming from. But I couldn’t go there. I couldn’t go upstairs. Because it wasn’t our house anymore. Those rooms did not exist, as if adults with secrets had declared them out of bounds. So I just sat downstairs, in that old dead house, the cold wind chilling my neck. They had gone, and the silence bled into everything.
* * *
Oh, I’m sure she’d love to see me now, tucked into this gloomy alcove in a grubby little pub—just me, a flickering TV, some guy pretending to be deaf selling Disney key rings that glow in
