The pause that followed was beyond pregnant. Her pulse throbbed, the delicate skin of her throat no match for the impact his announcement had on her. Part of him was elated to see the evidence of her jangled nerves. She loved him. He knew she did, even if she never said so.
“Congratulations.”
Her soft-spoken response deserved an equally polite reply. “Thank you.”
“And Mari is doing well? Healthy?”
“She’s fine.” A laugh escaped him. “A pain in my ass, but physically fine.”
“And her plan?” she prompted, suddenly intent on retrieving a bottle of water from the fridge. She glanced back at him over her shoulder. “Is she going to stay here?”
He jerked, stunned to realize he’d never thought to ask the question himself. “I have no idea.”
She nodded as she let the refrigerator door swing shut, uncapping her bottle as if they weren’t discussing the demise of everything they’d been to each other. “Well, it would be nice to have the baby nearby. Are her folks from around here?”
“They’re near DC.”
She pursed her lips. “Not too far.” He stared transfixed as she wrapped her lips around the mouth of the bottle and took a deep drink. “Maybe she’ll end up living near them.”
“So you know she and Dante broke up?”
Millie’s grimace confirmed as much. “Yeah, well, I saw some stuff online.”
“You know, there are days when I hate the internet. Actually, most days.”
The grimace softened into a smile. “Every day, I thank God I made it through school in the predigital era. Some things were caught on film, but by now, no one knows where the negatives are, and only a handful are savvy enough to work a scanner.”
Silence stretched between them, but this time, the familiar tension was missing. This quiet was weak. Resigned. After months of flirting, feinting, and some downright incredible fucking, they were over. Before he’d even convinced her to get started. No matter how much he loved her and wanted her, she didn’t want what he had coming into his life. And he had to accept her life choices.
“So, yeah.” He ran his hand over his hair, then drew back. “My life is going to be kind of…”
“Chaotic?” she supplied.
“To say the least.”
He nearly seized when she set the bottle aside and started toward him. He didn’t know what he’d do if she touched him. Shatter? Implode? Break down and blubber like a little boy? God, a part of him wanted to. He wanted to howl and yowl and throw a hissy fit the likes of which the world hadn’t seen since Bob Knight left collegiate basketball.
He held his breath when she came to a stop in front of him. Her body swayed. Ty wouldn’t have been surprised if his had too. The first time he’d kissed her, he knew he’d found an essential element. A pick that would let him roll. She was the alley, and he was the oop. One incomplete without the other. Did she know? Would she feel the loss too?
So gently he barely felt the heat of her touch, she laid her palm over his heart. “I’m happy for you, Ty.”
“Are you?”
“Always.”
The single-word response sounded a lot like a goodbye. If he didn’t want to do the breaking and blubbering, he had to man up, try to tip the conversation to his side, and send this relationship to the showers as soon as possible. “Okay, well…thank you.” He gave a nod and then shrugged. “I’m gonna need a little time to…figure things out.”
Her eyes were warm but sad. “Of course. I meant what I said before. I’m here if you need me.”
If he needed her? He needed her all the time. Didn’t she know?
Christ, he wanted to swoop her up. Kiss her. Beg her. Ask her to take him on anyway, complications and all, but he couldn’t. Wouldn’t. It wouldn’t be fair. A woman like Millie would never live a life dictated by someone else’s choices. She knew her own mind too well, and he knew enough about the tender heart she kept hidden under her sharp exterior to try to box her into a corner.
Swallowing the last of a long list of wants, Ty forced a tight smile. “I appreciate your…friendship.”
“And you’ll always have it.” She gave him a tremulous smile. “Let me know if I can do anything to help.”
Love me. That was all he wanted to say. Love me anyway. But he didn’t. He couldn’t.
“Goodbye, Millie.”
She inclined her head like a queen allowing her manservant to take his leave. “Bye, Ty.”
He swallowed a bitter laugh as he walked out. As far as he could see, the roles weren’t too far off. From the beginning, she’d been the one calling the plays. And for the first time in a long time, he’d been someone’s go-to guy. The playmaker. He opened her front door and paused to take a breath of the crisp autumn air.
Then, without giving himself a chance to overthink what he was doing, he stepped out into the night and closed her door behind him.
Chapter 19
Millie sat in the center of her couch, a throw tucked snuggly around her legs and the remote control in her hand. Though it would take a mere flick of her finger to power the television up, she didn’t bother. The floor show taking place right in front of her was more enjoyable to watch than anything she’d seen in the past two weeks.
Every square inch of the coffee table in front of her was covered. Avery must have used every clean bowl, dish, plate, and platter
