Alan looked up. A surprised expression came over his face. “I didn’t know you were coming, Father Frank.”
“Your mother is very concerned about you. She believes that you’re depressed.”
“Wouldn’t you feel depressed if you were facing a long prison term?”
“Yes, I would, Alan.”
“Well, Father, don’t be disappointed. If you came over to hear my confession, I’m sorry to say I didn’t do it.”
“Alan, I came over to talk to you and to hear what you had to say.”
“Then let me say it clearly. I loved Kerry. I still love her. That night I went over to help her clean up. She told me she was tired. We could do it in the morning. I kissed her good night and went home. I know I lied about that to the police and asked the guys to lie for me. But you know why I did that? I was scared. Wouldn’t you be scared if suddenly everybody was looking at you like you’re a killer? Do you know what it’s like to have handcuffs on and be forced to wear an orange jumpsuit?”
“So you’re telling me that you are innocent of Kerry’s death.”
“I’m not just telling you; I’m swearing it to you. If you have a Bible with you, I’ll swear on that. But it’s obvious nobody believes me.”
“Alan, in my experience, the truth has a way of coming out. If you do go to trial, I’m sure that will be many months from now. What are you going to do between now and then?”
“Frankly, Father, I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking how nice it would be to be with Kerry again.”
“Alan, you’re not thinking of hurting yourself, are you? Think of what that would do to your mother and father.”
“It would be easier for them if I just wasn’t around, rather than watch me get convicted in court.”
Deeply concerned, Father Frank said, “Let me remind you that it will probably be a year or more before you go to trial. By that time your situation may have changed.”
“Wouldn’t that be nice,” Alan said matter-of-factly.
When Father Frank left, he was deeply disturbed remembering what Marge had told him about Jamie being in the pool and how fearful she was that if the police found that out, they might get him to tell them that he was the one who had hit Kerry.
What should I do? What can I do?
He did not know that Brenda had been in the hallway catching every word and that she couldn’t wait to tell Marge all about it.
47
Brenda could barely stay near the speed limit as she drove over to Marge’s house. She had called Marge to confirm she was home and that it would be okay to come over. It was obvious that Marge had seen her coming up the driveway, because the door had been left open.
Breathlessly, she recounted how Father Frank had dropped in to see Alan. “He came over because June and Doug Crowley are afraid he is suicidal.”
“Oh, dear God!” Marge exclaimed.
“That poor boy! No wonder they’re worried. He’s convinced that he’s going to prison for killing Kerry Dowling. He swore on the Bible that he is innocent.”
“What did Father Frank say to Alan?” Marge asked anxiously.
“He was pleading with him to have faith. He told him he won’t go to trial for at least a year, and a lot can happen in that time. I just pray that he convinced Alan that he shouldn’t harm himself.”
“I pray that too,” Marge said with a tremor in her voice.
Having delivered the day’s gossip, Brenda looked at her watch. “Gotta go,” she said. “I have to shop for dinner.”
Marge sat trembling at the thought that Alan would commit suicide. She distracted herself from that thought by turning on the five o’clock news. Just as she returned to her chair, Jamie came into the room.
The newscast began and Alan’s picture appeared on the screen. “That’s Alan Crowley, Mom,” he said excitedly.
“Yes, I know it is, Jamie.”
The reporter was speaking while footage of Alan at the courthouse was shown in the background. “Rumors are swirling that Lester Parker, attorney for accused killer Alan Crowley, has approached the Bergen County Prosecutor about a plea bargain. We contacted Lester Parker and he adamantly denied that rumor.”
“Why is Alan on TV?” Jamie asked his mother.
“The police think he hurt Kerry the night she died in her pool.”
“He went home.”
“I know, Jamie. They think he hurt Kerry and then went home.”
“No. Alan Crowley gave Kerry a hug and a kiss and then he went home. The Big Guy hurt Kerry.”
Aghast, Marge stared at him. “Jamie, are you sure Alan didn’t hurt Kerry and push her in the pool?”
“No, the Big Guy did. Alan went home. I’m hungry. What’s for dinner?”
48
Aline was worried about Valerie Long. Something was not quite right about the girl, and it was more than just the loss of Kerry’s friendship. The word that came to Aline’s mind was “despairing.” In a meeting with Pat Tarleton, Aline shared with her how concerned she was about Valerie after their talk.
“I think you should speak to the parents and get their version of what is going on,” Pat told her.
“I agree, but I have a feeling Valerie would be very unhappy if she knew I was planning to meet with her mother and stepfather. Do you think I should arrange to see them someplace outside of school?”
“No, I don’t. It’s against our school’s policy to have this type of meeting away from our building. It’s the parents’ decision to tell or not tell Valerie that they’re coming in to talk to you. If she finds out they were here, they’re on their own to come up with an explanation as to why.”
Glad to have Pat’s approval, Aline looked up the contact information for Valerie’s parents. She decided to start with the
