“Good morning,” he says, caressing my cheek.
His wedding ring glints in the early morning light, and I drinkin the sight of him, fascinated by the clever hazel eyes, the beautifullyformed face. Who would tire of such a man? Kind, intelligent, funny as hell. Apart of me wishes to stay here with him forever. This moment feels so happy, sonormal, and what Visionary can deny the allure of that? Our connection hasnothing to do with magic or ancient callings from Roman diety. We’re justHester and Noah.
Still prescience is a tricky thing. It allows a small glimpsein time, not the entire picture. What comes just after the incident could beterrible. Tragic, even.
Fate, you treacherous crone. Why do you play such games?
Then all goes dark, blind. Without Kelly knowing I’ve gone toanother sphere, I am back again in my father’s study.
The doctor pulls away, just a little. “I’ve thought of kissingyou for some time,” he says. “Almost since the beginning.”
31
Incendio.
An all-consuming fire.
Hiswords seduce, intoxicate like sweet wine. They distract me from prescience, andvisions and make all the poets in the world right as never before. Lord Byron,in particular. Drawing me against his chest, Kelly pulls the ribbon from myhair. It falls a few inches below my jaw, not at all the proper length for a lady,but he runs his fingers through the waves, murmuring, “Beautiful, likestarlight.”
Ridiculous man. My hair and the word beautiful have never beenused in the same sentence. I touch his face, his smiling mouth, seeing withoutmy eyes. Kelly bites one of my fingers. “Come home with me. Be my wife in truth.”
Just the mention of truth pierces my heart, and I turn cold. Behis wife? His real wife? No. I cannot. I’m not fit for marriage to anyone, letalone dear Kelly.
“You’re shivering,” he says, rubbing my arms. “Would you likemy jacket?”
I shake my head and he releases me. “Hester, you look ill.What’s wrong?
Not a wife. Not now.
“Well, you acted a lot like one a minute ago.” He laughsdifferently this time, sounding anything but happy. “All right. If not now,when? Do you have a time frame in mind? A month, a year, two years?”
We’d fail. Can’t you see?
“I see that you’re afraid of trying, of allowingyourself to be happy.”
Stop, Noah. You don’t know.
He touches my arm. “Then tell me. Tell me.”
The study has grown crowded with just the two of us. Hot andoppressive with the smell of ink and dust and love and fear. I want to leave.
Never understand. Broken inside.
“I’m your friend. Let me help.”
No. I fix myself.
Turning my back on him, I find a handkerchief in my reticuleand wipe my eyes. I’ve been so low since leaving Ironwood—nightmares,flashbacks, cold sweats. Sometimes I hear Faust’s voice at the most randommoments, and I’m petrified, even though I know it isn’t real. I loathe confinedspaces, freezing water, and most men, present company excluded. Father, Faust,even Tom have soured me on the species, but never Noah Kelly. None of this isnormal or right. It’s far too great a burden to ask him to bear.
Sim knocks on the door loudly. “Sorry, sir, but the buggydriver outside needs to speak with you.”
Kelly mutters under his breath. “Fine. I’ll be there in aminute.”
“Come here, Hester.” He turns me around gently and hugs me,like the true friend he is. There is no ownership in the gesture, justkindness. “We’ll finish our discussion another time.”
Kelly leaves the house to speak with the driver. As usual,guilt nags, and I worry that the doctor will discover the opium among myluggage out there in the buggy. Really, Hester, you should be ashamed. Yousteal, lie, utilize drugs. Kiss a man one moment and change your mind the next…
As Kelly said, I am not the person I once was.
Self-examination makes me restless, so I use my cane to crossthe foyer, skimming along the wall. My left foot crashes into something heavy.I bend down, rub my painful toes, and touch the hard surface of the offendingobject. Bulging eyes? Flared nostrils? Snake-like tail? It’s Mr. Ming, Mama’sChinese dragon doorstop—my enamel-covered, heart-of-iron friend from childhood.I run my fingers over him, remembering the last time we bumped into each other.It seems like a hundred years ago—the day Mama died and my life took a verydifferent turn. Patting Ming once more, I feel old and fragile. Strange that hewasn’t sold with the other household things, but maybe no one wanted him. Cookalways said Ming was hideous.
Yet I’m glad he’s here. I’ll put him in a place of honor. Myback muscles protest as I lift the ponderous dragon and carry him to a spot bythe window. He settles on the floor with a clang.
Kelly reenters the house. “The driver’s pitching a fit.Apparently he has another appointment that he cannot miss. Where can we takeyou? To visit Miss Collins?”
No, I sign. Staying here.
Expecting Kelly to begin counting to cool his temper, I’msurprised when he doesn’t. “You’re welcome at my house, you know. As my guest, withabsolutely no strings attached. Unless you want them to be.”
I smile and shake my head. Need quiet. Time to myself.
He walks into the hallway and calls Sim, who joins us promptly.“Have you a room for Miss Grayson to use?”
Miss Grayson, is it now, Kelly? My legal husband must not wantto explain our marriage to the boy and thereby is still using my maiden name inhis presence.
“Yes, sir. I found some furniture upstairs in the servant’swing.”
“And you’ll lock up each night? Keep things safe?”
“I will,” Sim replies. “I promise, Doctor.”
Kelly puts his hand on my arm and draws me to the door, lowershis head and whispers, “People will gossip if you stay here alone with him.He’s nearly a man.”
Let them, I sign. Don’t care.
“Somehow I knew you’d say that.”
The doctor walks across the porch outside but turns back at thesteps. “Since you refuse to live with me, you might give some thought to buyinga place of your own. We could tour the local real estate together and findsomething suitable.”
My housing options are slim, due
