“I’d put my money on C,” Dragon said. “You were in town for a few days, and you stirred up the Freakz and Yeakz, pissed all over MS-13’s turf, and left her with a lot of dead bodies to sweep under the rug, including a gangland bruja and a Fae Carnifex.”
“Tell her I’ll be by eventually, when I get around to it.”
“Suit yourself,” Dragon said, “poke the bear.” She looked tired and a little too pale.
“Why did you do it?” I asked. “Do you understand what it means for you? What it could do to you?”
“Hello pot, meet kettle,” she said, the fake smile slipping a little. “In case you forgot, I do whatever I damn well please, and you, least of all people, shouldn’t say anything to me but thank you. That was some Mickey Mage bullshit you pulled with MS-13. You lied to me, kept me out of the loop until you needed me to pull your ass out of the fire. Did you even care what would happen to Dwayne and Gretchen, to you, if I couldn’t, or wouldn’t play your stupid game?” I ignored her question.
“You gave me your blood,” I said, “a transfusion. Lauren, you only have a finite amount. You don’t keep making more like humans do, and every drop you lose takes a little bit of you away, forever.”
“I just gave you enough to let the healing magics kick in, enough to keep those heart-seeker rune bullets from finishing you off. It’s not like it’s the first time I’ve ever shed blood, Laytham. Your blood was mostly magic toxin, by the way, did you know that? And your soul is so hacked and hewn, there’s hardly enough left to call it that. A soul, a human soul, is infinite, enduring, or at least it’s supposed to be, with regular care and feeding. Laytham, what have you done to yourself, and why?”
“Stupid shit, for stupid reasons. You shouldn’t have done it,” I said, standing. “You’re … unique, the last.”
“I don’t know that, and neither do you,” she said.
“Regardless,” I continued, “you’re like a walking museum of unnatural history. The world loses you, it loses part of its … magic. I’m … dogshit compared to you. A broken-down old man with a lifetime of horrible decisions behind him and nothing much of a future. I’ve squandered my life, my gift. If I had died in that firefight … shit, there’s already someone out there younger, more powerful, with a lot less cosmic baggage, and a damn sight more common sense.”
“Doubtful. You forget your power echoed through this city a few weeks ago when you were agitated. You’ve done good; perhaps not as much as you’ve done ill, but that is not for me to judge. Why have I always been the only one you show this side to?” she said. “To everyone else you are the cool, swaggering, egotistical rock star. You piss magic potions and eat monsters for lunch, but not to me.”
“You’ve seen me fall, you’ve seen me royally fuck up, but you’ve never judged me once, even when I deserved it. You still love me, even after I hurt you, after I hurt Anna. You’ve never stopped loving me, having my back. You were the only Nightwise to stand with me when all the bad shit I had been doing started to blow up. The Life will devour you if you blink. You know that. I’m too fucking scared to be this way with anyone else but you, Lauren. I’m a fucking coward at heart.”
“The bravest people I’ve met usually were,” she said. “We’re partners. That never changes, no matter how dirty we do each other, no matter how much you’ve hurt me. I wish I could love and hate like your kind do, Laytham, but I can’t. Your emotions are all too cramped. Mine are like storms on Jupiter. You and Anna are the only people that love me, even the completely terrifying bat-fuck alien parts of me, the parts I can’t explain to you, or to her. You love me blind, and you deserve that coming back to you. You deserved a little blood.”
“Does Anna know you did it?” I asked, looking for some clothes other than the pair of sweatpants I was in. “She couldn’t have been happy about it.”
“She was with me when I did it,” Dragon said. “She loves you too. She just hates to see me hurt.”
“And I did that a lot,” I said.
“You did,” she said. “But not nearly as much as you hurt yourself. Tell me, do you think you are enacting some kind of penance upon yourself for the things you’ve done?”
“For fuck’s sake,” I said, finally getting angry. “You’re a goddamned ancient, city destroying, mythical-ass dragon, and you’re going to try to sit there and make fucking psycho-babble excuses for me, for how I fucking use and hurt people? Maybe I’m just an immature fuck-up, Lauren. Did you ever consider that? Did you ever consider that I’m no more deep or complex than a fucking con man who swindles old folks out of their life savings or the fucking skell that kills a family for the thrill of it?
“I was a dirty cop, I almost dragged you down with me, and I might as well have put a gun in Nico’s mouth.” Silence passed between us, hardening like ice. “I’m one of my favorite topics. I’ve made a lifetime out of getting to know me, and I can assure you that there is no noble heart hidden under that moth-eaten soul. I tried to be that, and I failed, I kept on failing. You were there, you know better than most.”
“As long as you are alive, you can change,” this ancient, powerful being said to me softly. “It takes will and it is easily as painful as the decaying orbit of
