She cupped her hand around the little bundle of her belly. You’d hardly even notice it unless you were looking for it. “It’s not just an alien,” she said. “It’s Nan, and it’s Shaun, and it’s his mom. And it’s me, even though I don’t love it yet.” She shook her head, her voice sad and hollow. “And I might never love it, but…I’ve decided to keep it, for now.”
“For now?” he asked.
“Yeah. I mean, I’ve decided to have it. I’m thinking about adoption.”
Ré breathed out in a rush. “Wow,” he said. “That’s huge.”
“Yeah.” She glanced at him. She looked scared as hell. “So I gotta tell my mom, I guess. But just not today.”
“Shit, Ev, that’s great. I mean, that you figured it out and all. That’s awesome. Right?” From the look on her face, he couldn’t tell how she felt about it, and maybe that was because she still didn’t know. He hesitated, then stepped over and put his arms around her. She didn’t resist, but she kept her hands in her pockets.
“Sunny knows,” she said into his shoulder.
Ré stiffened. There she was. Good ol’ Sunny, jumping out whenever Evie was around. He pulled back a little, looking into her eyes. “Does that matter?”
Evie shrugged, looking miserable. “I guess not.”
Ré stepped back and ducked a little to see her eye to eye. “Evie,” he said, “it does not matter. She does not matter, okay? Nobody does but you. This is your life and it’s your decision and you are the only one who can tell you how to feel about any of it.” Evie just stared at him, not even blinking. “If she messes with you—if anyone does—I got your back, Ev. I told you—whatever you need, I’m there.”
Now she blinked, and the tears spilled. She said, “What makes you such a saint, Réal? I don’t get it. You don’t even know me.”
He stared for a second, surprised, then looked away. “I’m no saint,” he said. “Pretty far from it, actually.”
Câlisse. What could he say? Everything honest was terrible. He slid his hands into his back pockets and told her, “Shaun was my best friend. My brother. I just want to do right by him, that’s all.”
She said nothing. And then, “Will you help me tell my mom on Saturday?”
“I will.”
She smiled sadly. “And what about Sunny?”
He looked at her a long time, trying to figure out exactly what she was asking.
She is awfully pretty, he thought. She is all soft curves and eyes. The kind you wanna swim in, the kind that’d drown a guy if he wasn’t careful. Her hair was always a wavy mess, and she wore boyish, oversized shirts, though that might have been just to hide her growing belly. She had pale freckles across the bridge of her nose that he’d only just noticed now, in this light.
She was the kind of girl you had to look at twice before you really saw her.
And she was a dreamer, just like him.
“Sunny and I are over,” he said.
He could see the words take shape inside her, her heart jump up her throat. Maybe it wasn’t what she’d been asking, but there it was, out loud. He almost laughed at how nervous he felt, how naked and silly and plain vulnerable those words had just made him. And then she threw out a rope and saved him—she smiled.
Not a huge, happy smile, not a gleeful, victorious one. One that barely touched her lips but reached all the way into her eyes, and he knew it was real.
He said, “Evie, I…” But the words got stuck partway. That night, in my car, he wanted to say. And the way you look at me… I hope it’s serious. It feels so fucking serious.
“Me too,” she said, and he fell right through the floor, into the basement, into the earth, all the way to China and out the other side. Flying in space. Câlisse.
He was so happy and so scared all at the same time. Miigwech, he thought, miigwech, Gitchi-Manidoo. I don’t deserve this.
She took his hand and pulled him toward her. He swallowed. Magnificent strings of sacres flew through his brain as his mouth went dry. He licked his lips; he looked at her lips. She tipped her chin up and he ducked down, and he kissed her.
Instantly he was filled with the tingle and warmth of wine, and he was drunk. She put her fingers on his cheek lightly. He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her to him, feeling the curve of her belly press into him. Together they fell against the doorframe, her breath all over his neck, his hand in her hair. His joy was so heavy he didn’t know if he could even stand up anymore.
He pulled away. “Ev,” he said. “I—I don’t do this. I don’t just bring girls here.”
“Okay,” she said.
“I just want you to know,” he told her. “I’m not like Shaun, like that.”
“Ré,” she said, “it’s okay.”
“I mean, I want to,” he continued. “With you. I really want to.” Her eyes were melting his legs out from under him. “It’s just…I don’t know if I want to right now. Is that okay?”
“Ré, please. Just shut up.” She was grinning now.
He couldn’t help but smile too. They were still bundled in each other’s arms, smiling, pressed awkwardly against the doorframe. He ducked and kissed her again, and she made a little sound that nearly killed him. Good lord, he thought.
“Dude,” came a voice behind them. Réal jerked back, almost dropping her from his arms. His brother Beni came down the stairs and passed them, looking deeply offended. “Get a frickin’ room.”
Ré chewed at the grin on his lips as he looked down at Evie. She was blushing furiously. He cupped her head in his hand and leaned his cheek to her hair. Beni disappeared into the kitchen.
“Do you want to go to my room,” Ré asked, “and just hang out a while?”
She nodded, and he led
