Damn… Kelly. I closed my eyes, remembering how she looked on our wedding day. I was scared that my memory would fade and that one day I was going to forget how she smiled, how her hair fell, the sound of her laugh. I’d brought a photo album from home with loads of family pictures in it. It was under my bed in my room. I hadn’t opened it yet, I didn’t feel strong enough. Maybe one day soon.
I opened my eyes and took a deep breath. Everything was quiet, Nia was reading.
“Morning” I croaked.
“Good morning sleepy head” she grinned.
I sat up and swung my legs off the side of the bed, being careful not to hit my injured one.
I poured a glass of water and pulled my crutches towards me.
I got up slowly and made my way towards the bathroom, wobbling a little. I tested placing some weight on my foot but it was no use.
As I got closer to Nia’s bed I noticed that she had an empty bowl by her bed. Id slept through breakfast.
“What time is it?” I nodded to her bowl.
“It’s around 11am maybe later.”
“Wow, those meds are awesome” I stumbled into the bathroom and managed to use it without hurting myself further.
When I re-entered the ward, the doctor was in there checking on Nia’s dressings.
“Ah, its healing nicely, doesn’t seem to have any infection there. How does it feel?” she covered it up with a new dressing.
“Yeah, its ok, it doesn’t hurt so much anymore. It’s more like an ache now.”
“Yes, it was a bad cut, I’m sure that you will feel it for a while. But I’m pleased with your recovery. I’ll release you tomorrow but you’ll still need to rest it ok?”
“Yes!” Nia was happy that she was getting out of the hospital.
“Now George, how are you feeling today?” the doctor turned to me and walked to the side of my bed.
“I’m ok. I had a good rest.” I was sitting on top of my covers still in my clothes from the day before.
“I’m glad, you need to keep that foot up as much as possible again today. Will and your other friends stopped by today, to see you and Nia. Will left those” she pointed to some clothes draped over the chair on my left. I don’t know how I had missed them.
“That’s great doc thanks.” I was grateful to have something clean to change into, but sad that I had not seen Will and the others to say good luck before they left.
“Do you want some cereal? I can get someone to bring you some?”
My stomach was growling at me, before the world I used to know ended I wasn’t a lover of cereal. Now id eat anything.
“Yes please” I yawned, wow even after all that sleep I was still tired.
She said someone would bring me some shortly, then disappeared back through the doors.
“So, did Will and the boys seem ok? Who else went with them?” I was itching to be on the road with them. I also felt a little guilty that it was a mission that I had accepted and then invited them all to and I was the one that stayed behind.
“They took an extra man from the captain’s crew. Will said that the captain is going to start asking the other survivors to start doing runs if this one is successful.”
“Sounds good, he told me that his men are running thin. I’m thinking that once I get out of here that I’ll start taking classes. Survival ones.”
“I’d like to as well, just the basic ones. I’ve thought about what you said George. I’m going to ask the captain about the assistant teacher position.” She looked happy. And it made my heart grow a little.
“I think that you will be an amazing teacher, Nia, you’re kind and caring. The little ones will love you” I told her honestly.
“Thank you, George. Any idea what job you will sign up for?”
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell her, I didn’t want to cause her any more worry.
“Uh… I was thinking maybe supply runs?” I looked away from her, knowing what would come next.
“George, no! are you serious! We finally have a safe place for all of us and you want to leave?” she asked sounding shocked.
“Ni, I just need to get out of here, from behind these walls. It won’t be all the time. I just need to get away from… here”
“Or is it because you want to get away from me?” she sounded hurt.
“Ni, no. I care about you, Will and the others. We’re good friends. You just don’t get it, you never will” I shook my head at my outburst and my inability to explain what I felt coped up in here.
I didn’t want to say aloud what I truly felt in my heart. That if id tried harder to get back home then maybe my wife and children would be alive and here with me now. That it was all my fault that the three people that I cared the most about in the world were now six feet under.
I closed my eyes and gulped, trying to hold back my own tears. Trying to keep the pain off my face.
“I…” Her mouth opened like she wanted to say something else, her eyes were full of unshed tears.
She turned on her side away from me.
“Ni- “
“Just leave it George, I get it. You can’t face me anymore. I understand that
