But she wasn’t ready to face them.
Tears burned her eyes. Knowing she had to hurt them now broke her heart into a million pieces.
Liam’s footsteps told her he was quickly reaching the front door. She had seconds to prepare some words, try to help Beck and Seth understand that she couldn’t be anyone else’s caretaker, that she wasn’t ready to be anyone’s wife or mother. Even asking them to slow down wouldn’t alter the fact they wanted something she’d never even fathomed. If she explained all that, they’d probably shower her with more words and effort and caring and everything that wouldn’t change reality.
This had to be the end.
“Come on.” Hammer helped Raine to her feet. “Let’s let these three talk.”
Raine squeezed her hand and murmured, “Call me” before they left the room.
Behind Heavenly, Liam opened the door. Voices mumbled low questions. She felt eyes on her and froze. But her thoughts raced. Every cell in her body dreaded what had to come next.
They drew closer. She closed her eyes, tears squeezing from the corners.
Two sets of footsteps ate up the distance between the door and her side. Suddenly, warmth surrounded her. A soft hand cupped her chin, lifting gently but firmly.
“Don’t cry, little girl.” Beck. He thumbed away the tears that scalded her cheeks.
“We pulled a couple of stupid pranks, angel. We never meant to upset you.” Seth took her hand.
“I know. They’re not important anymore.” And they weren’t in the face of everything else. But she couldn’t seem to gather the words to say good-bye. She didn’t want to. The moment she did…no more flirting or kissing or adventures or first experiences. Worse, no more them.
Her chest bucked with a sob.
“Angel, damn it. Open your eyes.”
“We need to see you,” Beck added softly.
She bit her lip. Shivered. Their comfort was beautiful and terrible. It twisted her up inside. But those voices compelled her to comply. She couldn’t put off the inevitable.
Heavenly blinked, lashes fluttering open, and managed to make it across the room on shaking legs. When they followed, she held up her hands to ward them off. “I need to know… Does what we have mean more to you than a good time? Are either of you planning a future with me?”
“Hell yes.” Beck didn’t hesitate. “I never meant to make you question that. The donkey didn’t have anything to do with you.”
Seth frowned. “I want you in my life permanently, angel. I thought I’d made that clear.”
So Hammer and Liam had been right. And she’d been too damn naive to see it.
Heavenly wrapped her arms around herself and hung her head. What a fool. That buried the knife deeper in the chest. How could she tell them that she’d finally realized how much they meant to her at the same time she told them she couldn’t give them what they needed?
“What future did you see?” Beck asked cautiously, watching her intently and lingering in her personal space, as if afraid to let her get too far away.
That would change soon enough, and it was breaking her heart.
“Today everything is finally clear. I…” She shook her head. “I’ve loved every minute I’ve spent with you both. You’ve opened my eyes, shown me things, made me feel things. Because of you, I’ve smiled and had something to look forward to. And I wish I had more to give you. But I…” More tears fell. “I don’t. I can’t. There’s no future.” Her chest ached, and Heavenly wondered if she’d ever be the same. When Raine had asked her a while ago if she loved them, she hadn’t been sure. Now, Heavenly knew the answer. “I have to go.”
She whirled for the door, but Beck wrapped his fingers around her elbow and pulled her back to face him. The shock and pain flaring in his dark eyes and across his furrowed brow stabbed her with regret. Gosh, the thought of not seeing his face every day, of not sitting across from him at lunch, of never hearing his laugh or feeling his mouth on hers…
“Wait. I don’t know what you think we expect from you, but let’s sit down and talk.”
“Why do you think there’s no future?” Seth demanded. “Talk to us.”
She had no explanations left to give them. Telling them about her father, her dire circumstances, her problems, would only mire them down. They might even try to help. They were kind like that. But she didn’t need meddling or good intentions. These responsibilities were all hers.
“There’s nothing more to say,” Heavenly choked out as Seth stuck a fist in her hair and forced her gaze to his. His image blurred through her tears, but there was no way she couldn’t see his confusion and hurt. And it gutted her. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t say you’re sorry. Tell us what’s wrong. If you’re not upset about the pranks, then what?” he went on. When she didn’t answer, determination stamped his face. “I won’t just let you leave when you’re the reason for everything good in my life. That’s why I moved here, started again.”
“Y-you moved?” She hadn’t realized that, and guilt wracked her even harder. “I thought you’d just come back to help your friends and…”
But he’d returned again after the end of Hammer’s troubles. And he had an apartment. Why hadn’t she pieced that together?
“I came back this time for you,” Seth reiterated. “Whatever you’re thinking, I’m not expecting you to do anything to please me except be yourself.”
“You can’t leave.” Beck gripped her shoulders and pulled her against his body. She couldn’t not meet his stare. “I need you.”
Her heart thudded harder toward its slow, painful death.
“Don’t. Please. Just…” More tears fell before she could stop them as she shrugged free. “Let go.”
As she ran for the door to leave before she fell apart, Liam stepped into her path. “I’ve called you a taxi, little one. It’s already paid for,
