“Oh, angel… You make me remember exactly why I couldn’t stop thinking about you while I was gone.”
Heavenly understood. If anything, Seth was more potent to her than he had been last December. At least then, she’d been able to manage a little witty conversation. Right now, she barely remembered her own name.
“Seth…”
“Don’t tempt me. I already want to kiss you so badly I can’t stand it.” He squeezed her shoulder, then eased back. “You have no idea how hard being away from you has been. I’m sorry about December, the way things ended. It was my fault. I misunderstood everything you said and I didn’t accept your honesty the way I should have. I didn’t even ask questions. But I’m asking now. Do you have feelings for me, Heavenly?”
His words punched through her besotted haze. “Of course. I had no idea…” that it mattered. “I thought you saw me as a…” How could she put this? Heavenly frowned, her thoughts gathering slowly. “A vacation fling. I knew you weren’t staying and I didn’t think you’d ever be interested in me for more than quick sex. I had fun with you on the picnic but…” She sighed and wished she could get unflustered and stop talking in circles. “I’d made up my mind to spend that, um…evening with you, but I thought I owed it to you to be honest first. You have to know, I would never have decided to, you know, be with you if I didn’t like you, too.”
“You weren’t just sex to me, angel. Don’t you remember me telling you that I was interested in more than your beautiful body? That was my clumsy way of saying I wanted more. I was willing to give you the patience and attention you deserve because you needed to be sure.” He fell quiet, then penetrated her with another fierce stare. “Because I’m definitely interested in all of you.”
Heavenly couldn’t keep the surprise off her face. “Oh, gosh. I never thought… I mean, most of our conversation was about… Everything you said to me at Raine’s party was… So I assumed you wanted…”
“Sex. I see that now. Damn, I told you that day at the grocery store I wanted to make love to you. I thought you understood the difference between…” He shook his head and raked a hand down his face.
“I didn’t. I’m sorry. And I didn’t believe—couldn’t imagine—that I meant more to you than just easy pleasure. I mean, you could have anyone…” An experienced woman who knows how to please you. “Why would you think I didn’t like you? In my mind, you wanted sex, and I was willing to give it to you simply to be with you because that was the only way I thought you’d have me.”
“What a freaking mess.” He sighed. “We both made assumptions and didn’t communicate clearly. I’m going to fix that, and I need you to work with me. Okay?”
She bobbed her head. “I’ll do my best.”
“Good.” He took her hands. “Look, I admit you stung my pride that evening at the grocery store. Suddenly, you didn’t want Beck as merely a friend, and hearing you actually wanted to sleep with him was a shock.”
That made her feel terrible. “I knew immediately I’d upset you. But truthfully, I didn’t think you’d care how I felt as long as I was willing to be with you, but I needed to be honest.”
“I admire honesty, Heavenly. I do. But imagine how you would have taken it if I’d told you that evening that I was interested in sleeping with someone else, too.”
Wretched. Awful. Confused. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” She bit her lip against the sting of tears. “I messed up everything.”
“No. Come here, angel.” He pulled her into his big arms and held her to his solid chest, against his beating heart.
Suddenly, she felt warm and comforted. Safe. Desired. Almost whole.
Seth stroked her back, nuzzled her neck, inhaled her as he seemingly lost himself in the moment. “Don’t cry.”
“I’m mad at myself. I spent weeks at a loss to understand what happened, and now to hear that if I had chosen my words better—”
“If I had asked questions. If I had pressed you to explain. If I had thought before I reacted. If I had remembered you’re a virgin who maybe didn’t understand what I was trying to say.” He cupped her cheek and shook his head. “Don’t put all this on your own shoulders. What’s important is that we’re talking now.”
Nodding, she sniffled and backed away. “And I’m glad but…”
Heavenly feared finishing that sentence. The last time she’d been honest about her feelings for Beck, he’d ended everything between them. Granted, he said he understood now. But did he? Really?
“You’re dating Beck and you still have feelings for him? I know. But angel, I’m back and I want you more than ever.”
She met his stare, knowing he would see the apology all over her face for something she couldn’t help. “I’m getting that. And I’m shocked. In a good way…”
Clearly, she was going to have to choose between them. But…Seth and Beck were incredibly different men who made her feel very different things. Her Viking PI from the East made her melty and hot. He whispered words that made her head spin, even as he talked to her, bantered with her, not like the girl she often felt, but like the woman she wanted to be.
The witty doctor challenged her to think and to live, to be brave, even as he protected her, seemingly always hovering, a snarl ready to keep the beasts of reality away. One minute, he tried to grow her mind so she thought like his equal. The next she felt cosseted and nurtured.
They both made her yearn and crave them more than she knew how to resist. They both
