“I gathered, but…” She risked a glance over her shoulder. Beck still stared. “He’s not the only one.”
Seth’s gaze followed hers and cursed. “I see. Come inside with me. We’ll talk—alone—for a minute or two. If you still want to go home after that, I’ll take you.”
It wouldn’t be fair to kiss him and run away, and in all honesty, she didn’t want to let him go tonight. Her head might be telling her that she’d done something cringe-worthy. Her body panted that she should forget everyone and throw herself in Seth’s arms.
Well, everyone except Beck. She already knew forgetting him was impossible.
“All right,” she murmured.
Soon, she’d talk to Beck and make it clear that she hadn’t meant to hurt him, that her feelings for Seth had nothing to do with her feelings for him and that…she was utterly confused.
“Let’s go.” Seth tucked her under his arm and headed toward the house—until Beck stepped directly in their path.
Her gaze skittered up to him again, face flaming, eyes filled with another silent apology as they approached.
“Hold up a second.” Beck glared at Seth, teeth gritted.
At her side, Seth tensed. “Make it quick.”
Heavenly held her breath. Were they going to exchange words? Barbs? Punches? Tonight was supposed to be a celebration, not a brawl… “Don’t be angry. Please. I—”
“I’m not, little girl.” Beck took her hand. “Don’t you beat yourself up. I told you last weekend that I’d give you the time and space to make your choice. You haven’t done anything wrong. We’ll talk more if you need to. All right?”
She let out a huge breath of relief she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. Her heart lightened. A thousand things she wanted to say flitted through her head, but not here. Not in front of Seth. They had each promised to allow her to keep her romances with them separate, and she had to honor her part of the bargain until she made her decision. Saying more now would be compounding her error with another mistake.
“Thank you.” She squeezed his hand. He could probably read every one of her feelings. For once, that didn’t make her uncomfortable.
“I’m here if you need me,” Beck assured, then stepped out of her path.
Heavenly felt his eyes on her every step of the way until Seth ushered her into a study and shut the door firmly behind them.
From paradise to clusterfuck in two-point-two seconds.
As Seth led Heavenly away from the shit show and into Hammer’s study, he shut the door and tried to put a lid on his worries. He’d left her once for a misunderstanding. He wasn’t about to make the same mistake twice. But damn if her crushing guilt about Beck seeing their kiss wasn’t like a knife to the chest.
She sat on the far edge of the sofa, head bowed, hands folded in her lap. He knew her laugh, her smile, her smell, her kiss. But he had no idea what she was thinking right now and that was fucking him up. “Heavenly, look at me.”
For a long moment, she hesitated, and he wondered if she’d comply or just bolt out the door. He waited, breath held, until her gaze finally climbed up to his. She bit her lip, looking so unsure and nervous it tore at him. Goddamn it. He’d been a cop. He’d learned how to interrogate early and from the best. Getting inside her head shouldn’t be much different—if he could keep his own in check.
“Good.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Talk to me, angel. Tell me how you feel.”
A furrow appeared between her brows. “Confused. Overwhelmed. I don’t…” She shook her head as tears pooled in her eyes again. “I don’t know how to answer you.”
“You don’t know how you feel?”
She shook her head. “I’m just not sure how to explain. I’ve never had anyone to talk to about my feelings. Sorry if I’m not doing it right. I’m learning as I go.”
“Never?” No parents? No giggling girlfriends? He already knew she’d never had a boyfriend, which still shocked the hell out of him. She lived in a new city and hadn’t made many friends…
Her words hit him with a TKO of reality. He’d never been involved with a woman who had so little experience, not only in bed but in life. Emotionally, Heavenly wasn’t a woman yet. She didn’t know how to please—or even understand—herself, much less a man. She knew nothing about the subtleties of relationships or communication. On some level, he’d understood that, but tonight… Huge wake-up call. He didn’t need to simply calm her now; he needed to understand her. Coax her into opening up. If he didn’t do that, if he didn’t take control and assure her he was committed to whatever they could have, it might be over—not because she didn’t want it. Because she had no idea how to work with him to make that a reality.
“No,” she breathed. “So when you want me to tell you how I feel, I don’t know if you want to hear how the kiss affected me…or all the stuff after. Do you need to hear how I felt when you touched me or should I explain why I’m embarrassed? I really don’t get what you want.”
“Let’s separate what happened outside into two categories. We’ll work backward. You’re embarrassed. Because a few people saw me kiss you? Or simply because Beck saw?”
That had her looking down again. “Mostly because Beck saw. Pike is annoying—”
“I’ll deal with him.”
“But I never want to hurt anyone, especially someone who’s been as wonderful to me as Beck. I also don’t want you to think I regret kissing you. I wish the time and place had been different.” Surprisingly, she lifted her chin and locked stares with him. “But you gave me a first kiss that surpassed anything I’d imagined.”
He cupped her crown and tangled his fingers in her hair, tugging just enough to ensure she kept eye contact. “Did Beck’s
