In the Woods of Memory

carried away. I just hid behind my mother and cried. That’s why I never knew what happened next, until I read your letter. But when I read what you wrote, I knew that that’s how it must’ve been. I could picture Seiji’s face as if I’d seen it myself: his swollen eyelids, his pale face covered with purple bruises, and his body wet with sweat and blood. That’s how he looked when he was carried off, right? You also wrote that we’d thrown stones at someone, didn’t you? And you wanted to know who it was. Well, I think it was probably the ward chief, the one at the time. I don’t remember anyone throwing stones, but I was crying, so I probably just didn’t notice. But if what you wrote was true, judging from the situation at the time, it must’ve been him. Cooperating with the Americans helped us in some ways, but it also caused a lot of resentment. My father, for example, talked about it for years after. But I wonder how qualified the other villagers were to throw stones? They also received things from the Americans and cooperated in various ways. And when Sayoko was suffering, they didn’t do anything to help. I really don’t think they were any different.

Fumi stopped speaking. A moment later, her knees started to buckle, and she tried to sit down. Yōichi ran over to support her.

—I’m okay, she said.

When Hisako took her hand, Fumi smiled weakly and explained:

—It’s nothing. When I realized I was finished, I suddenly felt drained. I’m okay now, so you can let go.

Fumi pushed their hands away and stood up. Hisako handed her the bottle of water, and Fumi thanked her and took a few sips. Then she screwed on the lid and handed it back.

—That’s all I remember about the cave. Did that help?

—Yes, it did. Thank you.

As soon as she said this, Hisako realized that she still had many unanswered questions, so many that she didn’t know where to start. But she was worried about Fumi’s physical condition and didn’t want to take any more of her time. Fumi nodded as if she’d read Hisako’s mind and looked back at the cave.

—How many years has it been since I’ve come here, I wonder? As I was talking, I was looking down into the cave, and I had the strange feeling that some invisible beings were sitting there listening to me. I wasn’t born with spiritual powers or anything, but they say some people died here during the war. The cave wasn’t hit during the bombing, but people hid here for weeks, and there wasn’t enough food. Some of the sick and elderly grew weaker, and some of them died. Right here in this cave. My heart breaks when I think that their souls have been left behind here.

With these words, Fumi took some black incense sticks out of the paper bag Yōichi was carrying. Then she had him light the sticks with his lighter. Yōichi also had a bottle of awamori liquor and a plastic cup. Fumi filled the cup with the strong liquor and placed it at the entrance of the cave. Then she leaned the incense sticks against a fist-sized stone and knelt down to pray. Hisako and Yōichi knelt behind her, and all three of them folded their hands. Fumi murmured some words of prayer, but Hisako couldn’t understand their meaning. During the war, Hisako had hidden in another cave, closer to the village. She couldn’t remember whether people had died there. When she considered that for sixty years the spirits of the dead were still wandering inside this cave in the woods, she felt her skin turn cold with the thought of how terrifying it was to be so utterly forgotten. She prayed that their souls would soon be able to go to the afterworld and rest in peace.

On the way back to the car, Yōichi took the lead and Hisako the rear, just as when they’d come. As they headed down the wooded path, the two kept an eye on Fumi in the middle, so they could offer a helping hand in case she collapsed again.

As they drove off, Fumi leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes. She looked extremely exhausted. Hisako thought they should change their plans. They had planned to listen to Fumi’s explanation as they walked around the community center, and then drive to the beach. The sunlight was so intense that even with sunshades it would be exhausting to walk in the noon heat.

—Yōichi, Hisako called.

Yōichi looked back at her in the rearview mirror and slowed down. They were driving along a farm road surrounded by sugarcane fields.

—Yes?

—Your mom looks really tired, so why don’t we just see the rest of the island from the car, and then head home early?

—What’re you talking about? I’m fine, said Fumi, patting Hisako’s hand. You went to so much trouble coming down from the mainland. And it’s not easy getting over to the island either. If we don’t see everything today, who knows when you’ll be able to?

—But this is really tough on you, isn’t it?

—I don’t know what happened back there, but the words just came pouring out of me. I got really worked up and lost in the story. I’m just a little tired. Now that I’ve taken a breather, I’m perfectly fine. I walk every day, so my legs are strong. Besides, I really wanted to tell you about this. And you, too, Yōichi. If I don’t get this out of my system, I’m sure I’ll regret it later on. So, you see, you’re the one doing me the favor. I hope you’ll stay with me.

As Fumi spoke, she grew increasingly more animated. But that only made Hisako more worried. Getting so worked up would only further drain Fumi of her strength and spirit. And the repercussions wouldn’t hit her until later.

—But there’s no need to overdo it....

—I’m not overdoing