“For?” Sullivan asked, still distant, and this had gotten awful and awkward, and Tobias would’ve pushed, maybe, if he had time for it, and maybe if Sullivan didn’t look quite so much like Tobias was a complete stranger he’d bumped into on the street instead of someone he’d had sex with half an hour ago. But he didn’t have time, and Sullivan didn’t seem to want to hear it anyway, so he didn’t push.
He muttered, “Never mind. Look, uh, I know it’s inconvenient, but I’d really appreciate a ride to the motel so I can get my car.”
Nothing on Sullivan’s face changed, but he grabbed his own keys and his wallet and headed for the door, and Tobias thought forget it then.
* * *
Tobias arrived at Boettcher Concert Hall with dripping wet hair, a damp collar, a small bouquet of roses, and a healthy amount of dread brewing in his belly, but showing up at the last second had one perk—there was no opportunity for small talk with his family. He snuck into the auditorium out of breath, just before the doors closed, and barely had time to exchange some nods of hello. After a brief intro from the conductor and the obligatory tuning of instruments by the orchestra, the first guest soloist began.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t avoid intermission the same way. The concert was a showcase of young talent, and since Ruby hadn’t played yet, they didn’t even have the topic of her performance to discuss.
In a lobby humming with the polite conversation of well-dressed patrons in line for wine at the bar, Tobias shook his papa’s hand, kissed Mirlande and his manman on the cheek and gave Guy a not-too-hard shoulder bump. “Where are Marie and Darlin?”
“Darlin’s got one of his migraines, so Marie stayed home with him.” Manman was wearing the emerald green dress she’d worn to Tobias’s high school graduation. She joked sometimes that it was her proud parent dress, because she’d noticed one day that by sheer coincidence she’d worn it in four photographs of various school events. “They’ll be sorry they missed seeing you.”
“Yeah, me too.” Tobias shifted his weight as he considered what other safe subjects he could bring up.
“When are you coming home?” Guy asked, and when Mirlande kicked him—not subtly—in the shin, he said, “What? I didn’t promise I wouldn’t ask. I said I’d think about it.”
“Nice,” Mirlande hissed under her breath.
“Please,” Manman said, in the voice she used when she was not to be disobeyed. “Not here and not now.”
“Sorry,” Mirlande and Guy said immediately.
“How are your classes proceeding, Tobias?” Papa asked, mercifully before Tobias could be expected to answer Guy’s question, not that Papa’s was easier.
He couldn’t say that it’d been days since he’d gotten through more than a paragraph in his textbooks without wanting to tear his face off, could he? “They’re fine, thank you.”
After a minute of incredibly uncomfortable silence, Tobias asked, “Did anyone else recognize the girl who went first? We’ve heard her before, haven’t we?”
“She was good,” Mirlande said, and heroically carried the conversation for several minutes. He squeezed her forearm in gratitude.
Eventually the chime rang to let people know that intermission was over, and they trooped back to their seats to watch another boy perform with his cello before finally it was Ruby’s turn.
Tobias would never be half as good at anything as his sister was at the violin, and as proud of her as he was, Tobias worried too. Ruby had an entire global music community breathing down her neck. Conductors and music directors and recording companies from around the world called after hearing her play. Her teachers talked about her career in terms of decades, about her responsibilities to her gift like she’d been touched by the finger of God.
The very idea made Tobias’s throat want to close up.
She started with one of Paganini’s Caprices, an excruciatingly difficult piece that would satisfy even the most discerning doubter of her talent and a piece which had driven the entire family mad over the months it’d taken her to master it. Her second choice was Sarasate’s majestic and unnerving Zigeunerweisen, one of Tobias’s favorite pieces of music.
He closed his eyes and let the notes take him away.
* * *
After flowers and congratulations and autograph signings, Ruby was finally free to leave, and the family made a plan to get ice cream to celebrate. Night had fallen, warm and blue and breezy, and Tobias drove with Ruby in the back seat watching him in the rearview mirror and Guy in the front, fiddling with the radio on low volume.
“So?” Guy asked. “When are you coming home?”
“I’m not,” Tobias said.
“I knew it,” Ruby muttered.
“I’m twenty-four. I can’t live at home forever.”
“It saves school money,” she argued.
“I have enough saved up,” Tobias lied, because living in a motel was the worst way possible to maintain a savings account. “It’s time for me to be more independent.”
“It’s because you had a fight with Manman and Papa.” She gave him an I see through your bullshit look in the mirror.
“The fight doesn’t matter. As an adult, sometimes you need more breathing space, that’s all.”
“He means he doesn’t want to be single anymore.” Guy’s gaze tracked the scenery as his thumb flicked through channels. “Men have needs.”
“Oh, who cares?” Ruby rolled her eyes so hard they nearly popped out of her skull. “Women do too and you don’t hear us whining about it all the time.”
Guy twisted around in his seat to snap at her, and Tobias said quickly, “Everybody has needs and everybody whines, except when they don’t. Okay? You’re both right.”
They gave him matching dubious looks but settled down.
After a minute, Ruby said, “Are you lonely? Is that why you want a boyfriend?”
He was absolutely not going to think about Sullivan or kinky sex while in a car with
