They all had something to lose if Erin started digging. It made for a particularly motivating aspect of the job. No one would care if his team were simply doing what they’d been hired to do. They’d killed full well knowing what they were doing. It was why they’d been hired, after all. Mark hadn’t known they were caught on security cameras, and then he’d barely managed to silence the whistle blower before he took the evidence up the chain.
Mark had to get to Erin, no matter the cost.
SATURDAY, ERBIL ROTANA, Erbil, Kurdistan.
Erin lay in the big, plush bed. It felt as though she were being pulled down through the mattress. She was weary to the point that keeping her eyes open was a strain, and yet a growing part of her wanted to get up and pace the room. She wanted to move. To do something. Laying here cocooned in a robe, her belly full of rich food, lying next to a snoozing man seemed like the worst way to handle their current problems.
She turned her head and stared at Riley’s profile. The bathroom light cast a dark shadow on this side of his face, but it highlighted the ridge on his nose, that probably came from breaking it a few times if she had to guess. Despite the imperfection, he had a kind face.
She’d looked at him in those gray sweatpants last night and known she was a goner.
She could only lie to herself for so long.
Erin couldn’t do no strings attached. It wasn’t her. She cared too deeply, too soon. And Riley was a good man. He thought about her needs first. His focus wasn’t just the job, it was doing all parts of the job well. How many companies would have come in to save her and still considered the threat to locals? Not even the US military would have been that careful.
Was the attraction pulling her toward him born of feeling? A real connection? Or was he right? Did some part of her want to use him as a balm to her invisible wounds? This was the first time she’d ever had to evaluate her emotions, wonder at her motives.
She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed.
Riley didn’t move at all.
Erin got to her feet and crossed the room to the lounge chair by the window. She eased down onto the cushions and curled her legs under her, staring out the window onto the city.
When she’d first been recruited by NexGen it was for a specific set of projects. They’d pitched the idea to her and trotted out all the theorized good they could do. She’d seen the opportunity as a five-year plan. Get these things up and going, be the middle man between the company and the locals, make everyone’s life better—then she could go home.
Four years into this, and she finally saw the truth. There would always be pitfalls. There was no world where a perfect solution cured everything and made all sides happy. She’d naively thought that by doing her job on those projects, it would carry over and fix the whole system. In reality, all she did was steer the water flow so they avoided major disasters.
Maybe it was time she did something else. Something that didn’t put her life in danger just to make money for people in another country. If she died, the only people who would care weren’t even benefitting from what she was doing.
“You want to talk about it?” Riley asked.
Her head whipped around, and she stared at the dark lump that hadn’t moved.
“I thought you were asleep.” She considered throwing the decorative pillow at him, but then she wouldn’t have it.
“Not until I knew you were.” He sat up and scooted back to lean against the headboard.
“You could have at least said something.”
“And get my head bit off again? No, thanks.”
“I did say I was sorry.” She slouched farther down on the chair and turned back to the window.
“I wasn’t sure if I should still be afraid for my life.” There was a thread of humor in his voice, but it didn’t stop his comment from rubbing her raw pride.
“I have stuff I need to figure out.”
“I’m here if you want to talk about it. I’m a hell of a lot cheaper than a shrink.”
She chuckled. He’d probably understand her a lot more than a shrink would, too. After a few days, she’d never see him again, so what was the point in pretending she had any pride left? She was going to fall head over heels for the man, pour her heart out, and cry when he left. She wasn’t anywhere near as strong as she liked to pretend, but that was her secret. No one else had to know.
“Just...thinking about earlier. I like bitching about my mom, but I love her and everyone else in my family.”
“Yeah, don’t get me wrong. My mom knows how to be obnoxious as hell, but I don’t know what I’d do without her in my life. Or my dad. Even my fucking brothers.”
“Literally fucking brothers?”
“No.” Riley laughed. “No, not like that.”
“I know.” She chuckled. “I was just thinking...if I died, if I wasn’t alive when you guys found me, the only people who’d really miss me are my family. And I don’t even see them but once a year. That’s screwed up, you know?”
“You love your job though, right?”
“I feel like my job has meaning, but I’m not sure I make a difference in the big picture. Is it worth risking my life for this? Do I have it all wrong?”
“From an outsider’s perspective, what you do does make a difference.”
“Yeah, but the kinds of things I put a stop to, shouldn’t there be laws or common sense about not doing them?”
“Probably. What got you thinking this way?
