“Has anyone talked to my family yet?” Erin asked to say something.
“No, when I spoke with Riley he said you wanted to do that.” Melody took a few steps toward her until she was at the far edge of the vanity.
“I have to call them and tell them I’m coming home.” There wouldn’t be any ducking questions then. At least she’d have more pressing things to think about than Riley.
“I can arrange that.”
It would be good to go home and see her family. Figure things out. Chances were, she could squeeze some sort of severance package out of NexGen to tide her over for a while.
“Thanks.” Erin tucked the clothes under her arm and pushed her hand through her hair.
“How are you doing? Really? Did Riley do something?” Melody leaned against the sinks, hands at her hips.
That last question stopped Erin in her tracks.
Her silly heart clenched at the sound of his name.
She barely knew the guy. Her attachment was born out of a high stress situation and vulnerability. That was it.
“No.” Erin cleared her throat. “Everything’s fine.”
Melody didn’t respond, but Erin knew the other woman didn’t believe her. Hell, Erin didn’t believe herself.
“I’m just going to change.” Erin ducked into a stall and closed the door.
“Do you want a hairbrush? Toiletries?”
“That would be nice.” What she wanted most of all was to be alone for her pity party.
“I’ll be right back.”
Erin listened to Melody’s heels on the tile. The opening and closing of the door.
She leaned against the wall and stared at the ceiling tiles, counting them off one by one. She took comfort in the rhythm of the numbers, the logical flow of adding one more.
It was like the impact of the bullet had knocked her insides all around. She desperately wanted to hold onto something. Someone. She wanted out of here. Away from the secrets and lies. When she’d been in the army, she’d expected to not like every order. She’d trusted the commanding officers and done her part. Getting out had been about choosing her path and being done with the war and bloodshed. Instead, it was still there. Only now it was in the shadows, being covered up so no one was the wiser.
She couldn’t do this anymore. She needed to be free. To do something else with her life.
Erin pulled off her top and let it fall to the ground.
She’d let herself believe in ideals and things that didn’t exist. Was there anything good in the world?
Riley was good even if he was being stupid.
She wanted to hug that man. Hang onto him. But that would only push him farther away. Not to mention she’d create an even bigger crutch for herself than she already had. This was something she needed to do on her own.
Erin had to figure out what came next, and then she could worry about the rest.
The bathroom door opened and a staccato tap tap tap broke Erin’s peace.
“Erin? You still in here?” Melody asked.
“Yeah. Almost done.” Erin pushed the pink pants off. The delicate material hadn’t stood a chance.
She pulled on the t-shirt and yoga pants, grateful to shed a little of the day’s horrors. She blotted her unshed tears with tissue and flushed the evidence of her feelings. That done, she exited the stall.
Melody stood leaned up against another sink, already watching and waiting. Erin’s toiletry case from her condo was on the counter along with her hairbrush.
“Thanks for packing up my stuff like this,” she said.
“It wasn’t a problem.”
Erin glanced at the other woman. No matter what happened, she wore a smile. It wasn’t even a fake smile. Erin could hear it in the way Melody spoke. She was quiet, unobtrusive. How often had the meathead guys on the team underestimated her?
“Is this what your job is normally like?” Erin grabbed the brush and attacked her hair.
“My job is rarely predictable.” Melody chuckled.
“Are all your jobs this...scary?”
“To a degree. Usually the scary stuff is over pretty fast, and then it’s just a matter of getting home. I’m sorry this has been such an ordeal for you.”
“At least we’re all alive.” Erin’s throat closed up and the dam she’d erected to hold back all her fears cracked. She dropped the brush into the sink and covered her face.
“I’m sorry. It’s okay.” Melody was there in an instant, offering Erin a tissue and stroking her back.
“I’m fine,” Erin snapped.
“Of course.” Melody took a step back.
“Sorry.” Erin squeezed her eyes shut. “It’s just... I’m starting to question everything. You know?”
“I’ve been there.” Melody’s smile disappeared behind a grimace.
The woman had stories. Despite the polished exterior she showed the world, there was more to her.
Erin and Melody turned to face the stalls, staring at nothing, neither speaking.
“Keep a secret?” Melody glanced at Erin.
“Sure?”
“I questioned everything, too.”
“That’s your secret?”
“No.” Melody smiled, but for the first time it wasn’t happy. “I was a hostage negotiator for six months. Grant and the team don’t know because...I don’t want to be in the field, but I still want to be part of something. Our boss knows, but he was kind enough to omit that part of my resume.”
“Wow. That’s not a small secret. What made you quit?” Erin cringed at the poor word choice.
“During the six months I was on the job, we averaged two hostage situations a week. I went on over forty calls. My save rate was almost perfect. I was good at it, but I realized that just because I was good at what I did, it didn’t stop the bad guys. I couldn’t stay on the force knowing the difference I made didn’t change the bigger picture, so I left and went into communications. Public relations. Easy stuff. The bad guys wore suits and