‘Thank you, Mrs Emsworth – I was a bit unsure about the chop but after you’d said I should go for it I thought “well what the heck?” My darling other half thought I’d gone and got myself a bit on the side because I’d apparently started “making an effort” all of a sudden.’ She giggled.
‘Well, that’ll keep him on his toes.’ I winked. I stepped outside feeling all warm and fuzzy, glad that Janet appreciated my advice. On the surface, it looked like I had it all, and I suppose I almost did but life hadn’t always been so rosy and it wasn’t quite complete. Coming from a background where I didn’t always ‘fit in’ gave me a level of empathy rarely found amongst the average Cheshire housewife cliques and that was my superpower.
As I stepped outside the shop contemplating my next quest, I spotted something that made my blood run cold. I squinted a little to make sure I’d not made a mistake. Sure enough, it was him, Mike, the fiancé of my personal trainer, Megan, sat in his car getting far too close to a much younger woman. As I froze, trying to figure out what to do, the engine started and they drove off into the night.
***
‘I’m going out. There’s hummus and crudités in the fridge in case you get peckish,’ I yelled to James late the following Saturday night. He was up in the office where he’d been spending far too much time of late. Megan had gushed about going to a Sam Smith concert with some of her friends, and that meant her fiancé would be home alone, allegedly. If I was going to expose him for the cheating worthless bastard I knew he was, I was going to need evidence.
I’d dressed in black skinny jeans, a black T-shirt, and black leather jacket for low visibility; my Kera Straightened blonde hair was tucked into a black woolly pompom hat. James didn’t question me as I left; I knew he wouldn’t because he’d been office-bound, working so hard on a huge case that he’d barely had time to eat, never mind worry himself with whatever I was up to. I sunk into the leather seat of my black BMW and pressed the ‘Start’ button. The engine purred to life.
It was a fifteen-minute drive to Megan’s house in a nice residential area on the outskirts of Stockport. Bingo, two cars sat on the driveway: Megan’s cute Mini and Mike’s navy Merc – or the ‘seedy-love-mobile’, as I now prefer to call it. I crawled past and saw a light on in the front room of their modern detached – confirming he was home.
I spun my car around at the top of the cul-de-sac and drove off up the street, pulling up on the main road at the top. It looked like one of those ‘Neighbourhood Watch’ areas – the kind with the twitchy curtains. My unfamiliar shiny new 5 Series wouldn’t sit unnoticed; it may have already drawn a look or two. I checked my watch. It was just after nine. The urgent trill of my phone made me jump as it came through the car’s Bluetooth system. I fumbled with the volume quickly before answering.
‘Hello?’ I said, eyes still fixed on the road.
‘Charlotte, it’s Lauren,’ she shrilled. ‘I just wanted to let you know we’ve had to bring our charity ball forward to Friday the seventh. There was a double booking at the venue but don’t worry, I gave them what for and they’re going to comp us some champagne. Hope you and James will be there?’
Tension built in my chest. I wasn’t a fan of Lordy Lauren at the best of times but this time she’d crossed a line.
‘Lauren, you know very well my charity brunch is that day.’ I didn’t even try to keep the bitterness from my tone.
‘Is it?’ Her tone was forcedly flippant and it served only to turn up the flame beneath my already simmering anger. I’d known Lauren for years through the golf club and our relationship was strained to say the least. We were ‘social acquaintances’ at best but she was rather unpleasant towards me on most occasions and I had no real idea why. I struggled to believe she’d clashed our events by accident.
As much as I wanted to give her what for, I was a lady, and had my dignity to maintain, so instead regrettable words oozed out from between my clenched teeth.
‘We will be at the ball.’ I paused. She wasn’t getting away that easily. ‘Can I count on you to attend my brunch? You did RSVP after all.’
‘That’s wonderful news about the ball, dear, and I’ll try my best to make brunch. Ciao for now.’ She hung up and I took a few deep breaths until I could relax my grip on the steering wheel and refocus on the job at hand.
As I sat concocting my plan, I heard an engine cut through the night’s silence. Through my rear-view mirror, I could see the headlights of a car pulling out of the cul-de-sac. As it passed I sunk low into my seat. My windows were tinted but not blacked out so I had to be cautious. I did, however, manage to make out the sleek lines of the seedy-love-mobile – enough for a moment of admiration – and I made a mental note to test-drive a Merc when I was ready to replace the BMW.
My father had always taught me to appreciate the finer things in life. He’d
