“She’s ambitious.”
“Very.” Like always, she smiled when she spoke of her daughter.
I rested my back against the chair and kept my shoulders straight. My eyes were glued to her face, and I couldn’t help but stare. My gaze was naturally intimidating because direct eye contact didn’t unnerve me. But when it came to some people, I had to be careful.
With Scarlet, she didn’t seem to mind. Sometimes she held my gaze, and sometimes she looked away.
Nothing else in the restaurant took my notice. I was more interested in the freckles on her right cheek and the thickness of her eyelashes. She wore a dark lipstick, and that made her smile more apparent.
And more beautiful.
“I spoke to Alessia at the end of the night.”
I already knew where this was going before she even finished.
“She mentioned you.”
I held her gaze, unsure what to say in response. My conversation with Alessia didn’t go poorly, but it didn’t go well either. “She’s a nice woman. She’ll bounce back.”
“She had a lot of nice things to say about you. She said you’re the most wonderful man she’s ever met…and she loves you.”
I didn’t want Alessia to love me, not when I didn’t love her in return. I wanted her to find happiness in a man much better than me. “I never meant to hurt her. I told her up front what our relationship was. Maybe I let it go on too long. Maybe I should have warned her better. I care about her and don’t want her to be in pain. I wish there were something I could do, but there’s nothing I can do.”
When Scarlet mentioned Alessia, there didn’t seem to be any accusation in her tone. She seemed to be asking as a friend rather than a nosy person. “When you date women like Alessia…what exactly are you looking for?”
Our relationship had shifted from professional to something else. Now we seemed to be friends, exchanging stories about life. There wasn’t judgment on the table. There was only understanding. “Companionship.”
“And nothing more?”
I shook my head. “Nothing more. Alessia deserves to be with a man who can give her everything she deserves. I’m not that man. She wants a family someday, which is something I’m not interested in. She’s looking for passionate love, and I can’t offer her that either. The only thing I can offer is exotic trips, expensive jewelry, and good sex.” It didn’t seem appropriate to talk about such crass things so bluntly, but that was the entire truth.
“Do they usually want more?”
“Sometimes. I suspect some of them think they can change my mind.”
“Change your mind about what?” she asked.
“About something more serious.”
“Is there a reason why you aren’t looking for something more serious?”
Now I knew we weren’t talking about the article at all anymore. This was just between her and me. “When I lost Isabella, all of my love was buried with her. I couldn’t imagine loving someone, not after I loved her. So I decided to have short-term relationships that would give me what I needed.”
She nodded slightly, as if she understood.
“What about you?” I wanted to know what she was looking for. I wanted to know what she wanted in a man, in a partner.
“What about me?” she asked.
“What’s your romantic life like?”
“Pretty boring, honestly,” she said with a chuckle. “I haven’t been on a date in…at least a year.”
A year? That was a long time to go without some kind of companionship. I was single for three years after Isabella passed away. That’s how long it took me before I could begin to feel attracted to other women. I didn’t want to say something rude, but silence was worse. “That’s a long time…”
“Yeah, it is,” she said with a sigh. “But most of the men my age are happily married. So the dating pool is pretty small. And the rest of the men usually consist of weirdos or jerks. I don’t want to settle for someone I’m not truly in love with, so I’d rather be alone. And being alone isn’t all that bad. My sister lives here, so I see her all the time, along with my nephews. And I have my daughter, of course. I have great friends and a wonderful job. I don’t need a man to complete me. At least, just any man…”
I understood her perspective. I hadn’t tried dating anyone my own age because I wasn’t looking to get remarried, so I went after women who were too young for me. This was the first time I’d sat across someone who was actually compatible with me.
That scared me a little bit.
Silence stretched between us, growing heavier by the second. I noticed the necklace around her throat and the subtle eye shadow on her lids. There was a single freckle at the top of her wrist. The longer I was in her presence, the more I absorbed her into my memory. It was difficult for me to imagine a woman like her ever finding a man good enough for her. It didn’t surprise me that dating was virtually impossible.
The waiter brought our food, shattering our silence momentarily.
Now that we grabbed our silverware and ate, the quiet wasn’t as noticeable. I knew our lack of conversation wasn’t due to discomfort. In fact, it was the contrary. We didn’t need to fill the silence with words to make it easier.
I liked that.
I was a man of very few words. I liked a woman who accepted that, who didn’t ask if there was something wrong just because I had nothing to say.
She took a few bites of her salad then stared at me across the table. “Any news on Titan?”
“She’s the same.” Sitting at home and waiting for the healing process to finish.
“Do they have any wedding plans?”
“Not that I know of. I suspect they’ll tie the knot the second she’s better. Neither one of them wants a big wedding.”
“A big wedding isn’t necessarily a better wedding.”
“I thought about offering Isabella’s dress to Titan,
