“I guess. But we weren’t doing it for the publicity.”
“Did you guys ever…?”
“Not once. I’ve never even kissed her.”
“But you could picture yourself spending your life with her?”
“As a partner, yes. Like I said before, I was never in love with her. I was happy when she met Diesel. He’s a great guy. I know they’ll be happy together for a very long time.”
“Why did she agree to this arrangement? Titan is beautiful and successful…she could have any man she wanted.”
I didn’t want to betray Titan’s secrets, but her history was a matter of public record now. “She was in an abusive relationship when she was young. Messed her up mentally and she had trust issues. She wanted to be with someone she could depend on, someone she could trust implicitly. She knew I would always look out for her, never raise a hand to her, and I could be everything she needed. I’d be a great father to her kids, and I come from a good family…all of that stuff. And then she could continue to have her physical relationships too. It was perfect for both of us.”
“Why was it perfect for you?”
“I didn’t want a relationship either. Having Titan as a wife solved my problems. It made my parents happy. Financially, it was a good move. I enjoy her company and trust her with my life. True friends that will always remain loyal to you are hard to find…especially in a cruel world like this.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, pulling the dress tighter against her body. She must have fixed her hair with her fingertips while I was in the living room with Diesel and Titan because it looked nice again.
I waited in silence, practically walking on eggshells. “Autumn?”
She cleared her throat. “I’m sure you and Titan aren’t the first ones to make an arrangement like that…but I’m just caught off guard. I told you stuff about my personal life because I thought you would understand… I feel a little stupid now.”
“No, don’t feel stupid.” My hand gripped hers. “Please.”
She wouldn’t look at me.
“Baby.”
She fought the nickname initially, but after ten seconds, she finally turned to me.
“I don’t want you to feel that way. I feel guilty because I misled you, but I’m glad you shared that with me. I feel like I know you better because of that…and I feel closer to you.”
“I told you something honest and personal about myself. Now I want to know something about you.”
“Anything. What do you want to know?”
“What is the real reason you don’t want a relationship?”
I didn’t want to sugarcoat the truth. She told me something that was difficult to share, and it would be insulting if I didn’t expose my truth to her. “I just don’t feel anything. I’ve been with a lot of women, but I’ve never come close to falling in love with someone. I’ve never had my heart broken. I just like having meaningless flings, and I like being with women that allow me to control them…to do what I want.” As the words left my lips, I knew I sounded like an asshole. She didn’t want a relationship either, but at least it was for a legitimate reason.
Her expression didn’t change, and she didn’t seem to view me judgmentally.
“That doesn’t mean I’m not a gentleman. It doesn’t mean I’m not honest. It doesn’t mean I don’t care. Titan is the only woman I’ve had a close relationship with besides my mom. Titan’s an incredible person, and obviously, she’s beautiful…but I’ve never felt anything. It makes me wonder if I’m incapable of feeling romantic love. Maybe there’s something wrong with me, I’m not sure. When I see the way Diesel looks at Titan, I know I’ve never looked at anyone that way.”
“Thank you for telling me.”
“I know how that makes me sound…but I hope that doesn’t chase you off.”
“It doesn’t,” she said simply. “But I’m not sure if your assessment of yourself is completely accurate.”
“How so?”
She tucked her hair behind her and took her gaze off mine. “Maybe I’m going out on a limb here…but I feel like you care about me.”
“Of course I do.” I knew I did. I couldn’t get enough of her. I’d never asked a woman to stay over before. I’d never cooked for someone before.
“But, I think you care about me differently than you do with other women.”
“Why do you say that?”
“You’ve never made dinner for someone. You’ve never had anyone sleep over. It just seems like…maybe I’m different.”
I’d never given it much thought. I hadn’t been seeing her that long.
“You’re a very jealous man…I know that much.” She chuckled.
“Yeah…you’re right.”
“You’re the one who wanted to be monogamous.”
That was true too.
“Maybe you’ve grown. Maybe seeing Titan in love has influenced you.”
“Yeah, I guess it’s possible…but you don’t want a relationship anyway, right?”
She looked down again, a smile on her face. “I mean, if I met a good guy I really trusted and it felt right…I’d keep an open mind.”
Why did that make me happy? Why did that bring a smile to my face? I interlocked her fingers with mine then brought her hand to my lips. I rested my mouth there for a moment, treasuring her warm skin. “And if I met an amazing woman…I’d keep an open mind too.”
I didn’t know how Titan would react.
But I suspected she was going to be pissed.
I kinda lied to her about seeing Autumn, and then I told Autumn the truth about my false relationship with Titan. It was a betrayal on a few accounts, but hopefully, she wouldn’t care that much since she was getting married in less than two weeks.
Titan’s driver drove us down the street toward the fashion designers’ studios. I’d left the office a little earlier than usual so we’d have plenty of time to get the right dress. I suspected Connor Suede was making something just
