Shehas cramps. It’s her time of the month.
Nowonder she was so moody yesterday. She’s driving awfully damn fast…
Andthen it happens. Again. Like it always does. The Truck.
She’s impatient. Traffic is too slow for her. She alwaysdrives faster when she’s mad at me.
Weare on a blue highway. Single lane in both directions. She’s tailgating amother with an SUV full of kids. The yellow line is solid as we go around thebend. She honks and tries to pass. The Triumphhandles well, she’s confident. There is a truck ahead! Alumber truck? What is a lumber truck doing in Florida? Shetries to merge back in right, but there are two cars ahead of the SUV. Thetruck jams on its brakes. Something’s coming at us, awooden pole, not large, but stout. Like a javelin, arcing through the air,coming down straight at me. Just before she cuts sharply into the space betweenthe two cars, the shaft pierces my chest…
Andsuddenly I am at her house, in New Hampshire. TheTriumph is on the back of a truck. She’s had it trucked all the way up here.
Whydidn’t she drive it herself? Because she couldn’t, that’s why. She couldn’tbecause Mark’s in school. No, that’s not the reason. He isin school, but it’s a boarding school. She couldn’tdrive it because it would hurt her too much. But she couldn’t get rid of theTriumph either. She knows I loved that car. It is the last place she ever sawme.
Shepays the man, the truck leaves. She’s alone, with her memories. Alone with me.
Thepain is excruciating! Is it her pain? Is it my pain? I don’t want to be here!
Thephone in the house rings. It’s not Mark, he’d call her cell. It breaks herreverie, she goes in to answer it.
#
black
offin the distance…
alight?
no,just a color
shapeless
andnoise
twittering
comingcloser
#
She’shanding Kiddo my old stethoscope. “Hereit is. You tell your girlfriend to take good care of this.”
“Thanks, Mom. She will. And she’s not mygirlfriend.”
Theyare standing in Mark’s room. Faded posters—Iron Man,Batman—and a Sox pennant adorn the walls. My old desk is in the corner. Theymust have saved it from the big house. There is some sort of electricalapparatus on it, a circuit board, wires, a lantern battery. Weird science from the five & dime. No, those don’t exist anymore.Dollar store?
Aminiature football field painted on a green sheet of Formica is also on thedesk, next to the gizmo. A small steel ball rests on the fifty-yard line.
“So, explain this thing to me.” Her tone of voice is a mixture of awe and pride.
“Okay. It’s not that big a deal. You knowthat a current only flows in a complete circuit, right? You have to close theswitch or the current won’t flow, the light bulb will be dark. But make theconnection and the light bulb lights up.”
Hismom nods her head. She got good grades in school, until she had to drop out.But that must be fifteen years ago now.
“When the current flows it makes amagnetic field in those two iron rods in each goal at the ends of the gridiron. The ball is attracted to whichever electromagnet isstronger.” He points to the circuit board. “Thesensors on our fingers measure galvanic skin response and feed the data to themicrocontroller, which adjusts the strength of the electromagnets based on the relative GSRs. It’s similar to a lie detector.Instead of recording the response on paper, it moves the ball, but it’s reallythe same thing. The more relaxed you are, the stronger your magnet is, and thebrighter your light is. The player that moves theball into their goal wins.”
“So how I feel is what moves the ball?”
“Well, yeah. Kind of. Living thingsgenerate electromagnetic fields. They can be seen with Kirilian photography.Your emotional response changes the colors of your E-M field.”
Colors?
“Oh, yeah. I know what you mean. Likeauras, right? I had a friend when I was about your age that was into thatstuff. She said she could see people’s auras. She could tell if good things orbad were going to happen to a person. Negative energy brings bad luck, she said.”
“Yeah mom, but this is real science…”
“Well it’s reallyimpressive. I am sure you will win the science fair. I hope yourfriend-who’s-a-girl gets a ribbon too. I wish your Grampa was still here, hewould have let her round with him at the hospital.”
“Yeah. You miss him a lot still, don’tyou?” She nods.
Yeah.She does. Whenever she does, here I am. It’s excruciating. I don’t belong here.
“Anyway, I don’t think I will win. BillyCronin’s display is about quantum entanglement. ‘Spooky action at a distance.’ My only hope is that his project isall on poster board. Too bad for him, they don’t make quantum mechanics sciencekits for kids.”
“OK, I confess. I’m an idiot. What is “spooky action at distance?”
“Oh, that’s what Einstein called entanglement. Sub-atomic particles that have become entangledtogether still influence each other, even if separated by great distances ofspace. Or space-time, I think. Don’t worry about it. I don’t totally get itmyself. Billy’s wicked smart, but I don’t think he reallygets it either. Quantum physicists are still puzzling it out.”
Hegrins.
“Actually,I might win the blue ribbon after all. I’ve heard Billy’s presentation, andit’s good, but a physicist from the U is one of the judges. If she asks apointed question, Billy will have to bullshit his waythrough it. I understand my project completely.”
Kiddohas a good grin.
The doorbell rings. “Hey,I bet that’s Tom. You better go now, Mom. Have fun!”
Ifade away.
#
Markis a man now. He’s wearing a cap and gown. He’sstanding with his mom. She feels so proud. She should, she’s done all right.She brushes the hair from Mark’s face, a wedding ring on her hand. My angel!
“You are so handsome. You look just likeyour granddad.”
Marksmiles.
She’sright, I see the resemblance. He’sgot my smile.
“You wish he was here now, don’t you,Mom?”
“Yeah, kiddo, I do. But I think he is. Istill think of him, but not so often anymore.”
Shebeams at a guy—her husband— holding a toddler by the hand. She
