“Oh, he’s all right. His mind is on other things, that’s all.”
“I’m aware of that. Can’t say where his mind goes, but I know it isn’t around when I need it. He’ll never be a giver, just a taker.” His uncle frowned, as he wound a new pull-cord around the wheel that sat on top of his lawnmower, the cord Hanley would be pulling tomorrow when cutting the grass around the farm house.
“What do you mean by that?” Hanley stopped putting away the wire cutter and a small come-along he had used to repair the barbed-wire fence. Hanley was fourteen. The come-along and the cutters were both much older than he.
Looking up, his uncle stared out the garage window above his old work bench. Clouded and smudged, the glass yielded some light and a limited view of the pasture beyond. Hanley saw the jaw muscles tighten on his uncle’s face and then they relaxed. His head dropped again and his uncle said, “This farm is not much, but it’s all we have, all we’ll ever have. Your aunt and I have worked hard all our adult lives to have this. We’re proud of that. It isn’t the owning we’re proud of, you know. Not that. Hell, the owning is gone the moment we are. It’s the work, the effort that matters. No one gave it to us. We have never been a burden to anyone. We pay our way in this life and that’s important. We try to do more, to give back when we can. That’s important too; maybe the most important. If you can keep yourself and those you love, then you’ve done your job. If you can give back too, then you’ll have done your best. That’s all you can do in this life. Work hard and try to make a difference.” Looking up at Hanley, his uncle raised his eyebrows, smiled and shrugged, then went back to his work.
Watching his uncle, leaning against the marred, stained wood of the bench, his old tools, greasy rags and baby jars filled with nuts and washers around him, Hanley felt his own jaw tighten as he realized just how much he admired the man. The lives of his aunt and uncle were simple and hard. It was that way, he thought, because the plan and purpose of their lives was simple also; be good and work hard. All else that follows or is the result of that effort will be of a similar nature. Over the next few years, they would have many conversations about work, responsibility and making a difference. He remembered all of them.
***
“I feel bad about leaving so soon. Things aren’t finished. There’s still the wheat to harvest and we haven’t completed enlarging the pond. There’s more brush to clear and…”
“Don’t worry, college is important and we knew you had to leave sooner this year. We’re proud that you’re going. Bob’s coming over to help and Rick will be here for another ten days or so. Your aunt has been helping with Bob’s kids since his wife took ill and he won’t cost me much. If the brush sits until spring, it won’t hurt anything. I would like to get the pond done before winter. Take advantage of any snow melt next spring to fill it up. We’ll manage,” his uncle said.
“How bad is Bob’s wife?”
“Pretty bad, from what your aunt says. Maybe won’t recover. All those boxes of canned goods and clothes you saw stacked on the back porch were for them. When you and Rickie leave, we don’t eat as much, as your aunt cans and we’ve stocked piled plenty of fruit and vegetables. We won’t miss it and they can use it. The clothes are those collected by the church. It’s small, compared to what they need, what they will need.” Hanley looked at the worn top of the kitchen table where they sat talking, an old oak table, scarred in small places, the varnish thin and yellowed. A brown lump of what looked like a bread crumb nestled in the crevasse formed by the split that allowed the table to be pulled apart and a leaf put in.
“It’s good of her to do that for them.”
“She doesn’t do it to be nice but because she should. Her being nice may be part of what Bob sees, how he feels about it. Your aunt doesn’t mind that. She does it because she should. It’s part of the debt we owe and she pays it. That’s all.”
“What debt?”
“The debt most of us owe, for being fortunate, for our lives and our loved ones. Just knowing that things could be worse, we need to remember any considerations we receive in this life. It’s a hard thing, living, harder than any of us expect. If we do well, if our families don’t suffer much, if we’re happy most of the time, then we are lucky. What we can do for others in need is just paying back what we owe for our good luck. A child born with a horrible illness may never know what good fortune is. How do you account for that? You don’t. All you can do is help where and when you can. Your great-grandfather once said to me that there are only three things of value in this life; your family, your reputation and your education. Most people believe that, but don’t live their lives like they do. They think money and what it buys is as important. They’re fools. You know that, don’t you? Don’t be a fool Hanley. Remember who you are, realize what you have that’s important and what you may owe. When it’s all said and done, just pray you can look back on your life, you
