His face scared me more than my own emotions. Over the years, his chin had gottenstronger and his face had taken on a more chiseled look. Under the moonlight, his eyeswere like hot coals, burning from the fire that was raging within. I knew that when mybrother was like this, it was best not to say anything at all to him. Unlike my anger, mybrother’s rage was uncontrollable. It was like a wildfire that could only be tamed byburning itself out. We walked back, kicking rocks, knowing that we were returning homewithout our father.
~ ~ ~
Chapter Six
It’s crazy how history repeats itself. It seemed that my father had enough and he waswilling to lose everything to get rid of us. We received our first eviction letter in the mail.My mom was like a mad woman, chain-smoking, while raking her fingers through herthinning hair. Like an obsessive compulsive, she would dial our father’s cell phone ten,twenty times a day. She called his mother, his brother and even redialed the woman whohad been crank calling us, but she could not find him. I had a really bad feeling about allthis. I wanted to tell her about us seeing him in the club, but Ali warned me not to.
The electricity got turned off, and we had no food in the house. Ali and I lookedforward to going to school, because at least for six hours we had heat. I began to feelisolated, more than before. It seemed that none of the kids wanted to come near me. Oneday Ms. Paners, my homeroom teacher, took me aside. She was sure to remain about twogood feet away from me. She looked down at me, cleared her throat, rubbed her nose andbegan to speak.
“Nelandez, is everything alright at home?” I looked back at her with empty eyes. Iknew the drill. I had rehearsed this line a thousand times along with the theatrics neededto convince the school officials that my mom wasn’t psycho, that we weren’t broke, poor,and starving.
“No, you see my mom has been a little under the weather for the last week or so but—
“So you have told me this story before, Nelandez. I’m sorry to tell you that I nolonger believe you,” she said.
I blinked my eyes a couple of times. I was a little disappointed that I wasn’t theconvincing actress that I sought out to be.
“I’ve seen a change in your behavior, your weight, and, to be frank, your personalhygiene.” I drew back. What? I never would have thought that the birdbaths that I took inthe morning with cold water weren’t working. I guess that when you wear the sameclothes day in and out, you’re just bound to smell. I hovered back, a little embarrassed,sniffing myself like a cat, wishing that I could lick myself clean. But I knew that justwasn’t possible.
“I’m concerned about you,” she said reaching out to rest a hand on my shoulder butdecided against it.
“That’s why I’ve arranged for visitors to come to your house today,” she said, whilecrossing her arms over her chest.
Oh no! Not the visitors, also known as child services. I couldn’t let them come today.My mommy was a mess. I wouldn’t have any time to warn her. I swallowed back a knotof fear.
“Nelandez, you’re a smart, beautiful girl. The whole world is your future. You justmake sure that you tell them the truth about yourself and your family.”
I drew back. Fuck you, Ms. Paners. You used to be cool with me but now you aretaking this whole teacher and student thing a little too far. I suppose that she could see theanger in my eyes.
“I know that you don’t understand it now, but one day you will,” she said smiling. Iwanted to spit in her face. It took every morsel of energy in my body to restrain myself.The thoughts kept popping up in my mind. Oh God! We’re going to get taken away. I amnever going to see my momma again. I looked around; I silently wished that I couldspeak to the elderly woman again. She said that she would always be with me. She wasnever around when I needed her. I spent the rest of the day sulking and thinking of waysto ditch school. I needed to run home and warn my mommy. I felt helpless and yet, at thesame time. I felt like this was all my fault. I couldn’t wait for my last class to end. Thebell rang and I practically ran home.
“Nelly! Nelly!” I looked back and saw that Ali was directly behind me. He motionedfor me to slow down. I looked at him: he looked worried; I could only guess that he hadbeen taken aside and given the news too. Talking about it would have made everythingworse. Instead, we both quickened our steps and trotted home, hoping to get there beforethe visitors arrived.
I could smell the smoke about a mile away. The black smoke filled the air, and Istared with amazement at the bonfire that was created on the front lawn. The flamesdanced with anticipation as my mom circled around it, like she was conducting somekind of shamanic ritual.
“I gave you everything Alijondro,” she screamed as she hurled one of my daddy’sshirts into the fire.
“And what do I get in return? LIES!” She screamed as she shoveled a trash bag ofshoes into the flames.
“You left me with nothing!” she screamed again, beating her chest like a cavewomanand waving the empty trash bag in the air.
Our neighbor’s lawns were filled with gaggles of people who were watching thespectacle unfold. My mother’s performance was more exciting than watching the winterOlympics. They whispered to themselves and began to twirl their fingers round their earsindicating that my mother was crazy. I heard sirens roaring. A fire truck pulled into thedriveway, followed by a stream roll of police cars.
One officer ran over to her and tried to restrain her. My mommy couldn’t fight. Shewas
