I walked over into an alley and pulled my pants down. I was repulsed by first thesmell and the gushing of blood that was coming from my vaginal area. My panties werebloodstained red. Oh My God! Disgusted, I yanked my pants off and shimmied out of myunderwear. I found some newspaper that was relatively clean and I placed it between mylegs. This was a fucking nightmare! I was twelve years old, naked, parentless, andbleeding from my first menstrual cycle. It was close to ten degrees outside. I jumpedaround, trying to put my right leg back into my pants. My ass cheeks were so numb theyfelt like they were freezer burned. I managed to get my pants up and around my waistwhen I heard Ali calling my name.
“Nelly.” I ran out to the sidewalk and saw Ali running towards me. His belly bulgedlike Santa and he was holding the bottom of it like he was a pregnant woman. Hurriedly,we walked into the same alleyway so Ali could download the contents that were stuffedin his coat. We sorted through all the goods like it was Halloween candy.
There were chips, crackers, cookies, two cans of root beer soda, some candy bars anda can of corned beef and sardines. I held the can in my hand.
“I like sardines,” Ali said, while shrugging his shoulders.
I looked over and saw a package of cotton panties along with boys’ underwear, andmaxi pads. I couldn’t speak. Instead, I just rested my hand on the items, bowed my headdown, a little embarrassed but also relieved. I had never felt so much love for my brotherbefore.
“Hey, look what else I got,” he said. I looked up as Ali fanned dollar bills in front ofhis face.
“Oh my god, Ali. Where did you get that?” I said. I was hoping that he didn’t doanything stupid.
“Calm down, I got this,” he said while flipping off one and handing it to me. Wegorged ourselves with food. Ali and I walked into a 24-hour fast food restaurant andwashed up. The panties that Ali got for me were way too big. I had to tie them up at thesides like a Brazilian bikini. The maxi pads were super size and I felt like I had a queensize mattress between my legs, never the less, I was clean. I brushed my teeth andwondered how my mommy was doing. I knew that her high had waned off, and I couldimagine her sitting in her jail cell, regretting what she had done. My mom was so fuckingstupid. I spat the toothpaste out of my mouth and began to rinse. How could she risklosing everything for a man who didn’t love her? I splashed cold water on my face,ripped a paper towel off the roll and started to pat it dry.
“She did it because she was fucked up in the head.” I drew back, surprised that I hadeven said those words out loud. I crumbled the paper towel in my hand and threw it in thetrashcan.
We were on the road again. This time, we had bags to carry, but my belly was fulland I wasn’t going to complain. However, I began to worry. It was getting really darkoutside and it was only a matter of time before the freaks came out. Newark was a scaryplace at nighttime. I was falling too far behind. I couldn’t catch up, so I lagged behind. Ilooked around me. Man! The houses were immaculate. They had roofs that were as highas sky scrapers, with detached, two car garages.
I looked inside one house and saw a spiral staircase along with a grand style pianositting at the base of it. I whistled.
“Man. Ali could you imagine living in that house?” I said.
Ali looked at the house and then at me. He didn’t answer. There were sirens goingoff behind us. We looked back and saw a patrol car. Alarmed, Ali grabbed my hand andwe hid behind a tree. There were red and white beams of light that flashed over us like astrobe light. We peered over the bushes in time to see a little old lady in a whiteterrycloth robe make her way to the patrol car. Then we heard the voice.
“There’s niggers’ walking around here,” she quipped. Ali and I just stared at eachother, speechless.
Ok, just calm down, ma’am. We have been patrolling around this town all night andwe haven’t seen any suspicious activity,” we heard the driver of the car say.
“Well, you aren’t doing a very good job. We work hard to keep this area safe andclean, and not run down and dirty like those monkeys that live on the other side of town,”she spat.
“Yes, ma’am, we understand,” the driver said “If we see anybody, we’ll be sure totake them in.”
“Take them in, and back where they come from, so we can all live in peace.” Shesaid waving her fist in the air. The driver of the car looked very annoyed. I didn’t thinkthat he liked being told what to do.
“Yes, ma’am,” the driver said, rolling up his window. He looked like he wanted toget away from her as quickly as possible. He turned off the strobe lights and put on hishigh beams and drove away. The lady just stood on the curb with her hands on her hips.She had mismatched socks, one was pulled up to her knee and the other slouched aroundher ankle. She mumbled to herself as she walked back to her door.
“Don’t want no nasty niggers around my house, bringing their filth and sin to mydoorsteps,” she said.
We waited until she was comfortably inside, and then we took off
