Mrs Cox was out of her chair and patting a comforting hand on my arm in record time. “It’s just jet lag, Mae. You must hang in there; this is where you are supposed to be.” She perched on the arm of the visitor chair and gave me a squeeze. I’d never had a teacher hug me—not ever. Was that even allowed?
“Says who? My aunt? I haven’t even met her yet. Why are you so keen for me to stay?” The question, once I’d formed it, made sense. Since I’d arrived, Mrs Cox had been sure that I was supposed to be here. But why? So Tristan 'I’m Such an Ass' Prince could kill me down a dark hallway? Or so I could starve on porridge, and lose my mind to repetitive, almost on the point of real, dreams?
To my horror my eyes stung. I blinked them away. I didn’t cry. I gave up crying a long time ago.
“Listen, Mae, your aunt is a very busy woman, but she will be here soon. How about I try to get in contact with her and see if you can speak? I’m sure everything will be clearer once you’ve talked to her.”
When I’d opened the letter from my long-lost aunt, I hadn’t known what to think. If I was being honest, I’d been hoping for someone cool and caring, like Peter Parker’s aunt, someone like that.
Not a blank space.
Not a faceless signature on a letter.
I stood, my legs oddly reluctant. “I’ll give it a week, then I’m out of here.”
“We will sort it.” She stood and reached a hand for my arm giving me a hearty squeeze. “I promise. I know you’ve been lost, Mae, but this is your home. It’s where you belong.”
I walked for the door, my heart down by my shoes. I turned and found her watching my departure, a thoughtful expression on her face. “I’ve never belonged anywhere. This is just another place to add to the list.”
The thought of going to class filled me with dread. My feet scuffed over the stone floor. I stared about me, an absorbing wave of apprehension pulling me down. I didn’t want to be in this dark godforsaken building. Its damp chill was oppressive and stealing the air from my lungs. What I wanted was to feel the sun on my face; the air: breezy and warm. What I wanted to be was home—but I didn’t have one of those. I didn’t even have a way to contact the people I’d left behind. I should have asked Mrs Cox for access to my cell, maybe she would have relented if I’d told her how desperate I was for normality.
The kids here, they seemed to think this was all normal. That schools were dull and drab, the lighting dim. That dreams were chased with dark tormentors, maybe even ghosts.
Phil was something else. The friendship she’d extended to me filled me with some comfort but even she seemed happy shovelling porridge in her mouth and going along with the eccentricities of the place.
I mean, we weren’t even allowed outside.
A rebellious urge began to grow. With my head down and my feet speeding to a moderate jog, I dashed for the arched doorway I’d been guided through by Mrs Cox. Fresh air tantalised my skin, droplets of fine rain splashing along my hair. It was heaven.
Ducking around the side of the building, I followed the gravel path, stepping in shallow puddles and splashing my bare legs. Now I knew why Phil asked if I needed to borrow gum boots. I didn’t care. The water sloshed in my shoes and I squelched away quite happy. Outside it was just as I’d imagined. Fresh, green… alive. At the edge of the manicured grass, the forest waited.
Greedily, I sucked at the damp air. My skin glistened with the light misty rain, and as I walked, I lifted my face to the sky, closing my eyes and allowing nature to heal the disappointment darkening my soul.
My aunt didn’t want me.
It was the same story I’d always known. “Be a good girl, Mae, and behave.” Or, “Do as you're told.”
A frustrated ball of annoyance settled itself under my ribcage. I’d been stupid, hasty. I should have found out more before I got on the plane. If I’d known the full truth of where I was coming, I would have used the airplane ticket and then dodged Jeffries in his chauffeur cap, at the airport. I could have been anywhere by now, be anyone. Instead, here I was in a navy uniform with bruises around my neck.
This was me though: impulsive and hasty. I wouldn’t be me if I hadn’t accepted the plane ticket and dove headfirst into what was offered.
“Mae!” I recognised Phil’s voice, but I didn’t want to stop and chat. If I didn’t stay out of that building and find out what was on the outside, I was going to suffocate. With my head down, I marched down the pathway.
There weren’t any further gardens apart from the short stretch of grass around the stone walls, not that I could see through the grey mist and hazy rain droplets. The paths gave way to wild forest. The house was surrounded around the back, the trees encroaching on the space of the building. Peering into the trees, I sought out a path ahead. The closer I got to the dark trunks and vibrant greens, the lighter I felt. This was freedom. Grinning, I lurched forward into the deep foliage. Wet ferns slapped at my legs and my feet squelched in mud and soft earth. With every step my breath became lighter, my heart thrumming,
