“What? Why are you bright red all of a sudden?” Tamsyn kept her tone soft.
Carmen rubbed at her face. Damn her pale complexion. “Um, well, then…” She sighed. Why was this so hard to say out loud? Come on. They’re both lesbians. It’s not like they don’t know what it’s like to feel this way . “Okay, here goes.” She breathed in. “We had to lean in quite near to each other to be able to look at the screen. And, well, our heads got quite close, and I could smell whatever perfume or cologne she wears, and her eyes were intensely focused on me, and all sorts of ludicrous things started happening to me, and… My God, I wanted to kiss her so badly.”
“Oh, wow,” Maggie whispered. “I’ve got goose bumps!”
“Me too.” Tamsyn stared at Carmen. “Did you?”
Carmen shook her head. “No. I chickened out. Besides, I have no idea if she feels anything for me. I think ambushing a woman with a kiss in the middle of a wine bar wouldn’t have been the best idea.”
Tamsyn snorted.
“But, do you think she wanted you to? Or that she wanted to kiss you?” Maggie asked.
“I…I have no idea. I mean, she was looking as intently at me as I was at her, but why would she think I’d want to kiss her? She thinks I’m straight.” Carmen hung her head in her hands. This was just impossible.
“So what happens now?” Tamsyn’s tone was gentle, all hints of her earlier teasing now departed.
“I have no idea.” Carmen slumped back in her chair. “There was a moment, right at the end of the evening. She’d walked away after we said goodbye, and I couldn’t help watching her go. She turned and caught me watching, and I wanted to run over to her, but…”
“You backed away?” Maggie finished.
Carmen nodded. “I was so torn. Part of me wanted to just blurt it all out.”
“But the rest of you was scared?” Tamsyn asked.
“Yes.”
“Oh, honey, don’t worry. We totally get that. Me especially.” Tamsyn smiled ruefully.
Carmen gave her a wan smile in return. “Yes, I suppose you do.”
“But look what happened to me in the end.” Tamsyn took hold of Maggie’s hand and gave her partner a look filled with love. “I got through it, and I’ve never been happier.”
“Sweet talker,” Maggie muttered but blew Tamsyn a kiss when she looked affronted.
“True.” Carmen snorted softly. “God, talk about the tables being turned. Back then, I talked you into following your heart, and now here I am receiving the same from you.”
“What goes around comes around.” Tamsyn smirked.
“You know, I never told you this.” Carmen turned to Maggie. “You know she made me read your book, the one based on the time you two had spent together in Norfolk?”
Maggie nodded, looking curious.
“Well, um, it touched me. I remember thinking how wonderful it would be to find someone who made me feel that way. I never imagined in a million years that person could be a woman. It’s…it’s made me think if, subconsciously, after reading your book, I started to wonder if I was barking up the wrong tree with men.”
“Maybe you did.” Maggie shrugged. “But you did meet Gerald soon after, and you were, mostly, pretty comfortable in your relationship with him.”
“Yes, I was.” Carmen sighed. “But now I know comfortable isn’t really what I want. Maybe it is like many of the women in those articles said. Sometimes it just takes the right person to come along and show you what you really want. And sometimes that person happens to be a woman.”
“So, what are you going to do about your woman?” Tamsyn asked.
“For a start, I think I’m going to have to stop running away.” Carmen’s throat tightened. “I’ve never done anything so terrifying in my life, but…I cannot stop thinking about her. About being with her. I woke up this morning wondering if that was too soon to ask her out for coffee again. Is that silly?”
Maggie shook her head, her smile warm. “No, it isn’t. It’s wonderful.”
“Only if she feels the same way.”
“Which she might.”
Carmen thought back once more to that charged moment she and Ash had shared. That look in Ash’s eyes. The slight flush on her cheeks. Yes, maybe Ash did feel something. A shiver of excitement ran through Carmen. If Ash did feel something for her, then yes, it could be wonderful.
Chapter 21
“Carmen, here’s those contracts you need for Friday.”
Monica handed her the stack of papers, and Carmen took them even though Monica’s words had barely registered. What’s happening Friday? God, I’m losing it .
“Thanks.” She managed to give Monica a small smile.
Come on, this is ridiculous! It’s just one text message asking someone you like if they’d be interested in meeting for coffee this week .
She’d never had this much trouble asking out a man. Why should it be any different with a woman?
Because somehow all of this feels different because Ash is a woman.
She put the contracts on her desk and sat back down in her chair.
Monica left the office, and Carmen exhaled a long, slow breath. This was her chance, a few minutes of peace. She picked up her phone and opened the messaging app.
Hi! It was great to see you the other night. Hope you got home okay—
She tapped the delete key multiple times. You know she got home okay; she texted you to say so! She’ll think you’re an idiot if you ask again . Okay, try again .
Hi! It was great to see you the other night. I was thinking of making some time in my calendar tomorrow morning (Thursday) for coffee and a certain pastry. Care to join me?
Okay, how did that sound? Too flirty? Not flirty enough? Was she even supposed to be flirting with a woman who just wanted to be friends? Carmen groaned. She negotiated actors’ career-changing contracts with less concern. Before she could change her mind,
