Yes, but does she think about me? She seems pretty okay with us as we are. Casual.
Her mood dimmed, and she stood up quickly, not wanting to follow that last train of thought to its conclusion. The ringing of her phone was a welcome distraction—until she saw the name on the caller display. Her heart skipped a beat.
“Hi, Ash.”
“Hey.” Ash’s melodious voice sent a delicious shiver down Carmen’s body. “Still at work?”
“How did you know?”
“Lucky guess.”
Carmen smiled. “Are you in between clients?”
“Well, not exactly. My last client just cancelled.”
“Oh, that’s a shame.”
“Actually, I’m pleased.” Ash paused. “It means I have the rest of the evening free. Don’t suppose you could get away and maybe meet for a drink?”
There was something in her tone that Carmen couldn’t quite decipher, but whatever it was made her stomach perform a slow but not unpleasant roll.
We saw each other last night, and now she wants to see me again .
That didn’t sound that casual. And I don’t want it to be. She sat up straighter in her chair as the implications of that worked their way into her brain. She’d been trying to deny it, but there was no escaping it. No dressing it up as this laidback thing they both wanted. I don’t. I want more. But what if she doesn’t? “I think that sounds like a wonderful idea.”
They quickly made a plan to meet at a bar roughly halfway between their workplaces and hung up.
Carmen stared at her phone for a few minutes afterwards, her mind whirling. They’d said casual, but tonight would be the third time they’d seen each other in the last week. Was Ash trying to tell her she wanted something more? Or was it only Carmen who wanted to fall deeper into what they had together?
They had one glass of wine each in the bar before the noise of a large party two tables over became too much.
“I don’t have the patience for that anymore,” Carmen said as they left the bar. “Must be my age.”
Ash laughed. “Well, I’m younger than you, and I hate it too, so…”
Carmen smiled at her, then a small frown marred her forehead. “Ugh, I should probably get home. I have another busy day tomorrow. Walk me to the ring road again?”
“I’d love to.”
They fell into an easy pace alongside each other. When Carmen tentatively entwined her fingers with hers, Ash wasn’t remotely surprised—or displeased. She wondered, for the hundredth time since Sunday, how something that they’d said would be a little bit of fun already felt like so much more than that. Rather than think that through, she simply held Carmen’s hand a little more tightly, revelling in the touch.
A minute or so later, they came across a small park area and, without a word being spoken between them, diverted into it. It wasn’t much more than a football-field-sized patch of grass edged with trees, but a few people were out enjoying it on this late summer evening.
Carmen slowed their pace, and Ash had no issue with her wanting to extend their time together.
“So, here’s a question I’ve been meaning to ask for a while.” Carmen met Ash’s gaze. “You don’t seem to have any tattoos yourself, yet you talked about how your father had many and you’d always wanted one.”
“That’s because the tattoo I have isn’t visible.” Ash pointed at her back.
“Oh! And what is it?”
“It’s a phoenix. The same design as the logo for the studio.”
“Why a phoenix?”
Ash pondered, just for a moment, making up something trite, brushing it off. But she couldn’t do that, not to Carmen. Somehow being honest with her was the only possible path. “It might sound a bit out there, but in that last year at the bank, I knew I was falling into a bad place, and even though it took me a while to pull myself back up, I knew deep down, long before that, that I needed to. I think, when I went looking for this tattoo, I was subconsciously telling myself I’d rise again. That I’d get that new life I didn’t know I was looking for.”
The memories of that time were still painful for her, but she had no qualms about sharing a hint of it with Carmen. She’d had no problem sharing anything with her the past few days, and it worried her a little. Sharing had made her feel warm, comfortable, and a whole host of other things she shouldn’t be feeling with someone she wasn’t supposed to be getting serious about.
“Hey,” Carmen whispered, and the next thing Ash knew, Carmen’s arms were around her, holding her gently yet firmly, her hands making soothing circles on her back. “It’s okay.”
“Wh-what is?” God it felt so good to be held like this. Protected. Cared for.
“Whatever it is that made you suddenly look so sad.” Carmen brought one hand up to Ash’s face and placed it on her cheek. “One day, if you want to, I would like to hear all about that time in your life. But only if you want to. I will understand if you want to forget it.”
“I’d like you to know.” Ash’s voice croaked. “I…I know I could trust you with it. That you wouldn’t judge. But not now.”
“No, not now.”
“Thanks,” Ash said softly. “It’s been a long time since someone held me like this.”
“Then I’m glad it’s me who is here doing this now.”
Ash raised her head, and Carmen eased her hand away from her face so they could look at each other. They were only a couple of inches apart. And there it was again, that intensity. Only this time it wasn’t purely desire that weaved its way between them. There was something else here too.
