James’ dark eyes softened, and he leaned forward. “It’s okay to talk to me. I’m here. I’m asking. I care.”
She swallowed hard against the truth as it pushed to the front of her mouth. It would be so nice to just get it out. Have the story told. Share the burden with someone. Maybe it wouldn’t be so heavy if she didn’t have to keep it to herself. She looked down at her hands as she balled up a napkin and worried at the edges.
When she lifted her head, the look in James’ eyes stopped her breath. Her heart filled her chest and electricity zinged through her veins. He cared. It was written all over his face, filling his eyes with worry.
“Money’s tight.” She closed her eyes against the admission. Returned her attention to the table and let the story roll forth. “Steven...you know, Parasite Steve?” She waited for him to nod before continuing. “He didn’t have a job. He moved in and opened up a bunch of credit cards in my name. Maxed them out. Kept telling me it was fine, there was nothing to worry about. It was their fault because they kept approving us.” She shook her head. “Us. Like he had any part in it. My name. My money. I’d go to work and come home and find out he’d opened another one and bought another round of whatever.”
“Ellie, that’s fraud. That’s illegal.”
“Yeah, but he kept saying we’d lived together long enough to be considered a common-law marriage and he was within his legal rights. Said if I made a stink, he’d take me to court for alimony since we’d be considered married and he wouldn’t have a way to support himself if I left.” James made a sound as if he was going to contradict her again, but Ellie kept talking. “I know it all sounds so dumb now, but Steven was an angry man and I was afraid of him. I got in the habit of keeping my head down and not making waves.”
“Did he hit you?”
“No.” She looked up at James through her eyebrows. “But he’d throw stuff and punch the wall. I had a few foster dads with similar anger issues. The best way through that is to stay quiet and not make waves.” James made another sound and Ellie interrupted him again. “Of course, I know now that’s not true, obviously. Steve is gone. But the debt is not.”
“How bad is it?”
“I’ll survive.” She felt foolish for sharing as much as she had already. She didn’t need his pity and she definitely didn’t want him thinking she was after his money. They were supposed to be on a date, having fun. The relationship was supposed to be fake. And there she was, sharing more with him than she ever had with anyone.
James reached across the table and took her hands. “I’m sure you will. It sounds like that’s just what you do. But Ellie?” He waited for her to look him in the eyes. “How bad is it? Do you have what you need?”
She shrugged. “I’m fed. I bought myself a new used dress.” When he looked confused, she gave him a sheepish smirk. “Goodwill. Three dollars.”
“Well, sweet Ellie, that was three dollars well invested .You look like a million bucks in that thing.” She couldn’t help but blush at the compliment. “There we go,” he said. “There’s that smile I love so much. Now please, one of the things I appreciate most about you is your honesty. Don’t stop now just because it’s hard. How bad is it?”
Ellie felt tears prick her eyes and she blinked them back. She didn’t do emotion. Not in a public place. And definitely not in front of people. If she cried, it was at night, in the dark when even she couldn’t see the tears. Period.
“I’m behind on my electric bill. They’re going to shut it off if I don’t get the payment to them by next week. I should be able to make it, as long as the people of Bliss keep needing their morning coffee.”
What must he think?
Too weak to kick the parasite out before he nearly ruined her?
Too afraid to stand up for herself?
And then, spewing the whole sordid story out on a date that wasn’t even a real date. She swallowed down her emotions. Took a moment to compose herself and pull it all together. Used the distraction of Ashley arriving with their dinners to paint a merry smile across her face and vowed that she wouldn’t lose control of herself around James like that ever again.
Chapter Twenty-Two
James
James watched Ellie pull a mask down over the wounded version of herself she’d just unveiled. He felt he’d finally seen the real Ellie, and that she didn’t bring that part of herself out to play very often. Like maybe he was the only person to see that part of her in a long time. How did she live like that? So bottled up and afraid?
He watched how artfully she switched topics and put the focus back on him. Used the arrival of their meals to distract him from the conversation about her. He saw it for what it was, but didn’t call her on it. The look of relief that slid across her pretty face was enough to make him want to give her space. Let her recover from sharing something that was clearly very intimate.
He took a bite of fish while trying to unravel how he could talk her into letting him pay her electric bill. “Dang!” he said around a full mouth. “This really is good.”
A playful smile twitched across that sexy mouth of hers. “See. Told you.”
They finished the night and managed to avoid any more in-depth conversations about the contents of their hearts. In that, he guessed, they were the same. Tucking their pain away to deal with in their own way. She was more graceful about it than he was.
