“Sinclair told me. I want to congratulate you but I’m not sure you’re happy about it.”
“It’s a surprise for sure, but I’m not unhappy about it.”
“So why the long face?”
“Trina thinks I’ll be a terrible father.”
“Terrible?” Wyatt asked.
“She says I’m not ready. My house isn’t ready. But I know what she’s really saying is that I’m not dad material.”
“That’s not what Sinclair says. In fact, based on all you did to help her with Alyssa, I owe you a big thank you. You were there for both of them when I wasn’t.”
I shrugged. “It’s not like it was hard.”
“But it makes Trina wrong. At least about you. The house, well, she might have a point there. It works for a bachelor, but a child needs all sorts of safety features.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “You saying my house is unsafe?”
He laughed. “For a kid, maybe. Your porch looks like it could fall at any moment. There’s probably exposed lead paint. If your grandparents saw how you let it go, they’d probably take it back.”
Okay, so I wasn’t good on maintenance. I could change. “They’d have to buy it back.”
Wyatt looked at me. “You bought it?”
I nodded.
“I thought they gave it to you.”
“They let me live there when they first moved into the retirement community but then they wanted to sell it, so I bought it. They financed it, but still, I make payments. Pay interest. All that same stuff a bank would do.”
“Does Trina know that?”
“I don’t know. We never talked about finances specifically. Although it’s another area I’m lacking in. Apparently, restaurant manager and part-time musician doesn’t cut it as a parent.”
“It’s a bit rich of her. It’s not like she’s a doctor or lawyer.”
“No, but I’m sure she has benefits and retirement. I don’t have that. I have to pay for my own health insurance.”
“You know, Ryder, I’ve always liked Trina. She and Sinclair are two women I wouldn’t want to be on the wrong side of.”
There was a “but” followed by something negative about Trina, I was sure. “But?”
“But you and Trina…I have a hard time seeing that. At least as a long-term thing.”
“Because I’m not serious in life?”
“Fuck no,” he said frowning at me. “Because she’s too serious. She has such a tight grip on life that no one around her can breathe. And that mouth of hers…sometimes I wonder how she has friends at all.”
“It’s a defense mechanism,” I said, feeling defensive of Trina even though Wyatt was right.
“Dr. Freud.” Wyatt chuckled.
“I’m a bartender. I know people. Her mother walked out without a glance back. You know her father couldn’t be counted on for anything. I think if my life had been that chaotic and unpredictable, I’d want to control everything around me too.”
He seemed to think on that. “Okay. But she doesn’t need to be so judgmental. Plus, now she has people she can count on except she does everything she can to push them away. That doesn’t make sense.”
“I guess she doesn’t think she can count on them.”
“Well then, she’s going to have a hard, lonely life. Unless you can convince her otherwise.” He glanced at me again and I realized he was suggesting I find a way to convince her. “Lord knows you’re the only one with the patience to try.”
I wiped the sweat that built on my brow under the hot afternoon sun as I contemplated what he said. “I’m willing to do that, but I’m not sure what to do or if it will matter. She seems to find fault in everything where I’m concerned.”
“You could start by making your home livable for a child. I’ll help you.
“What if she still doesn’t accept me?” I asked.
“Then she’s an idiot.”
“But she might keep the baby from me.” It was hard to think that Trina would be that callous, and at the same time, I could definitely see her griping at me that something I was doing or not doing would hurt the baby. It both angered and hurt me that she’d think that. Why couldn’t she see the man I really was instead of the loser slacker she thought I was?
Wyatt stiffened. “That won’t happen. You have responsibilities that I have no doubt you’ll see to. But you have rights too and you can bet that your family will support you if it comes to some sort of custody battle.”
I swallowed hard, hating the idea of living the next eighteen years fighting with Trina over custody or visits.
“I can’t tell you how sick I still feel at not knowing Sinclair had been pregnant. I know it’s my own damn fault, but when I think of how much I missed…” He swore under his breath. “It kills me. I don’t want that for you, Ryder. You might have an easy way of going through life, but I have no doubt you’d crawl over broken glass for your child.”
He was right about that. “I guess I need to show Trina that. I think I’ll take you up on the offer of helping me with the house.” That would be a start at least. I knew it wouldn’t be enough though. Maybe Trina was right in that my financial situation wasn’t as stable as it should be, especially if Stark was planning to buy the Salvation Station. The idea of him being my boss wasn’t something I could bear. And there weren’t other good job prospects for me in town.
Maybe it was time to talk to Mr. Coffey again about buying in so I’d be part owner. But I didn’t have the money saved yet.
Stark’s offer for me to play a gig for him popped into my head. I could do the gig and use the money to buy into the restaurant and hopefully keep Stark out. I immediately dismissed that thought. I couldn’t play for him no matter what. Not after what he’d done to Sinclair and Wyatt.
My options rattled around in my brain as I helped Wyatt with the
