She gasped as the pretty yellow room came into view. She walked in. “It’s for the baby.” Her hand ran along the crib rail.
“That was Alyssa’s crib. I’ve checked and there’s been no recall. All the parts are safe.”
She turned to me. Tears fell on her cheeks.
“Oh, baby. You okay?” I asked going to her and wiping her tears with my thumbs.
“Yes. No…I don’t know.”
I wasn’t sure what to make of that. I pulled her to me. “What’s going on?”
“I’m so happy.” She wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her head on my chest. “But I don’t deserve this.”
“Yes, you do, and even if you didn’t, I want to give it to you.”
She tilted her head back. “I’m scared, Ryder.”
I studied her, not sure what she was saying. “Of me?”
“Of love. Of messing this up. Of you leaving.”
“I’m not leaving.”
She didn’t say it, but I could see in her eyes that she was saying, “You did before.”
I dropped my head to her forehead. “I love you, Trina. This is what I wanted from the moment I volunteered to be your fake husband. Before even. The other night at your place…I was hurt and angry—”
“For good reason. I don’t want to mess this up and, well, you know me. Chances are high that I’ll screw up.”
I smiled. “I do know you. And you know I can put up with a lot. I won’t be a doormat, but I understand you. And I hope that if you let me love you, you’ll learn to believe in it. I’m not your parents. You can trust me, Trina.”
She sniffed. “Sometimes you look like you’re weighing what to say to me in case I might go off. Don’t do that anymore. I need to learn to take it. I’ve been talking to a counselor.”
“Really?” That surprised me. Trina wasn’t one to show her innermost feeling. “And what have you gleaned?”
“She hasn’t really revealed anything new. I knew my parents fucked up giving me trust issues, but she has given me some tools to help me cope. I may need help with it though.”
“I’ll help you. Whatever you want or need, I want to give to you.” I kissed her forehead. “I’m glad to hear about the counseling. I want you to be happy.”
“I am.”
“There’s more to see, if you want.”
“More?”
I took her hand and led her out of the nursery and to my bedroom. A new headboard and bedding highlighted the bed in the room.
“My mom insisted women liked matching sheets along with matching plates. And lots of throw pillows,” I said with a nod toward the pile of pillows. “I don’t know. You didn’t strike me as a throw pillow person, but—”
“It’s lovely. You did a lot of work.”
I took a breath as I turned her to me. “For you, Trina. It may be too much too soon. You’ll tell me if it is, but I want you to be comfortable here. I want this to be your home too. You, me and baby.”
Her hand caressed my cheek. “I don’t get why such a sweet man wants me.”
I smiled. “Because I love you.”
She still hadn’t said to me, but I understood it was something she might need to work up to. Right now, it was enough that she was here.
“Why?”
I laughed. “Because of your smart mouth.”
She looked down embarrassed.
“You’re a smart woman. Fiercely loyal. Organized and clearly, I could use help there. Beautiful. You challenge me. I see you, Trina. Even as you try to hide sometimes.” I drew her to the bed and had her sit. Then I went to the vase on my dresser and pulled out a flower. “Do you remember when we were ten or so, and you stayed with us for a little bit.”
She nodded. “My mom had run off and my dad disappeared for a few days.”
“Do you remember flowers showing up? On your bike? In your backpack?”
She looked at me, cocking her head. “Yes. Sinclair said I had a secret admirer. I figured it was her trying to make me feel better.”
I held out the flower. “It was me trying to make you feel better.”
Her breath hitched. “Ryder. I never knew.”
I sat next to her. “You looked so lost. I could remember thinking it looked like a part of you had died. The sparkle in your eyes had gone. You never smiled or laughed. But when you’d find a flower, your lips would lift. Just a little, but enough that I felt like it made you happy.”
“You were a romantic even then.” She rested her head on my shoulder as she brought the flower to her nose and inhaled.
“All I’ve wanted to do since then is make you happy.”
She turned her head. “You do.” Her lips pressed against mine. At first her kiss was soft and sweet, but within seconds she turned up the heat and my dick shot to full tilt. “Will you touch me, Ryder?”
“Whatever you want. If you’re sure.” This time I wanted to take whatever time she’d need to adjust to the idea of staying with me.
“I am. I love it when you touch me. I feel free. Like the real me when I’m with you.”
Good. Then I was doing my job. We were a bit frantic as we undressed, but because I wanted this to last a long time, I slowed things down as I lay her back on the new bedding. I lay my body over hers, pressing her into the mattress. I wanted her to feel me with her. To trust that I’d be here.
She pushed at me, rolling us until I was on my back and she was over me. “I want to run the show this time.” She had a sexy smile on her face.
“Oh? What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to try and drive you mad, and not with my smart mouth.”
“I like your mouth.” The image of her mouth sucking me off made my dick jump.
“I meant my smart aleck mouth.
